ate cake...at a wedding

well, i didn't really eat cake. there was a wedding (bride and groom above), and i got to do whats becoming one of my favorite activities - take a little road trip. so ~5hrs after we left jo-burg, there i was in a village outside of polokwane in the limpopo region called uitkyk (pronounced "ate-cake"). weird afrikaans language. [i'd like to take a moment now to send a shout out to my baby - my car - for all its hard work and endurance. tho i complain a lot about my baby, she managed about 50km on dirt, gravel, and very bumpy roads and never once gave up...thats committment!]

anyway, back to the wedding. i was very honoured actually that my friend invited me to his wedding. it was my first of the kind. it wasn't a white, wedding, but the traditional wedding; the celebration that comes after the groom has paid the lobola (bride price), which he did the saturday morning in joburg before heading to limpopo. after lots of celebration and chatting and dancing and eating, i gathered my thoughts and decided that i actually learned quite a lot in one night. here's a sampling (in no particular order):

1. i still have a problem with the whole bride price/dowry thing. if u talk to older people, they'll tell you of the tradition that it symbolises appreciation by the grooms family that the wife's family is allowing "a potential bread weaner" to leave the home. or that its supposed to help with the wedding activities and planning. or something like that. the historical and symbolic meaning is fine, but in reality, today, its turned into something of a money-making or cow-acquiring scheme. this is not the point i want to make tho. the point is that thru all the traditions and customs, one thing was clear: the couple loved and admired each other. and they would honour their parents and uncles and aunts wishes (of adhering to tradition and custom) if they have to in order to be together. and they had fun!

2. i'm not ready to get married yet. yep. thats it. too hectic for me.

3. a cow's head/nose is not all that bad! i had another first. the morning after the wedding, its customary to cook the head of the cow (whose body we all ate the night before). so being a good african, i joined in and just happened to grab the nose. i was told that it was the best part of the head, but im not sure thats saying much. it actually was pretty good. except for when i thought about the fact that i was eating a flipping cow's head.

4. many south african blacks are as racist as the whites, but refuse to admit it. i had a running huge debate with some extremely well educated blacks who felt that if whites hate blacks as a general rule, its racism, but if blacks hate whites as a general rule, its not racism. it cant be. cuz they (blacks) have a reason to hate. i don't buy that at all. in all the definitions of racism or racial discrimination, i haven't come across one that excuses one racial group from the curse of racism. and it is just that, a curse. on humanity. on the other hand, i think i can understand just a little bit of how black south africans feel. they feel that their land was grabbed from them and never returned. that they received political freedom while they were told to just forgive and forget decades of oppression and racism. they feel that the perpetrators and those who still today benefit from the apartheid regime never fully paid for their crimes. some feel that nelson mandela sold them out by not having by not demanding much more in the liberation negotiations. they feel robbed. south africa is still a very messed up place...it just sometimes takes a wedding and few laughs and alcohol and a bunch of guys talking politics to bring some of that out into the open. as an outsider tho, i'm much more hopeful.

5. i really like road trips. did i mention that already. and i like good company.

enjoy the pics: