Saturday, July 24, 2010

whiter than white

i just realised and have become overwhelmed with the amount of work i shouldve done and need to do for this week...so instead of doing that i decided to go into panic mode and update this blog instead of actually doing work. strange??? me thinks not.

sometimes i just start writing blog entries and then come up with a suitable title afterward. this time i did it the reverse, which means that i now have to try to fit what i want to write about to the title. i had an experience last weekend that really bothered me, stirring up emotions that i hadn't felt in quite some time. i think it still bugs me; so i'm now writting it down. whether or not it helps, who knows.

when i speak of my experience in mississippi (deep south US), I'm typically a little negative in my tone and i generally speak of that not being the most ideal first impression to get of the US. Coming from a place where I knew nothing of discrimination and racism, it was such a slap in the face and key first-hand lesson, to see racism clearly at work. and what was even more striking: racism within blacks. in fact, i encountered an overwhelmingly greater sense of racism and ignorance amongst blacks than i did amongst whites. [till today, i maintain that almost everyone, if not everyone, of every race and culture, holds some degree of racism and must learn to deal with it...tho plenty disagree with me].

Anyway, after my initial shock living in mississippi, I quickly forgot about those moments as i had much better and friendlier times in st louis and chicago. living in south africa has been another learning experience; but one that hasn't really bothered me too much as i understand that the country is enterring a period of growing pains. of course, occassionally i get stopped and harrassed at the airport for being nigerian, or followed in the book store by a black guard to ensure i dont steal any books or read that one book about black liberation that im not supposed to, i presume. usually, these things dont bother me. i just smile and nod and occassionally make a snide remark to the guard, or border control, or whoever.

last weekend, i was showing a high school friend of mine (who happens to be white) around cape town. a bit of context is key here: black (at least those in joburg) typically say they like cape town, but could never live here because its often so racist and unwelcoming. i've never believed these allegations completely. I mean, sure, cape town, isn't the most welcoming place; even white foreigners complain of how difficult it is to assimilate into the culture and find close friends, but the onus of relationship building rest on both parties equally. Also, I guess i wasn't really trying to assimilate to 'cape town' culture, whatever that is, so i couldnt be bothered. anyway, i deviate. point is: cape town can be a racist place. so can anywhere. oxford, mississippi was definitely a racist place (at least in 1992-94).

so i take my friend out to a bar/lounge in greenpoint, Jade's, and the bouncer guy refuses to let us in. He makes up some story about the night being dead (obviously not true, as we can see people in the lounge) and therefore he couldnt let us in. Regardless, I simply wanted to show him a cape town hangg out spot, stay for like 30min and then leave. While I'm trying to understand this guy's rationale, large groups of girls walk straight in, no questions asked. later, a group of guys walk up and in, few questions asked. one small detail: everyone who's walked in so far are white. so again, i ask mr. bouncer guy whats the deal. immediately out of nowhere, this dude starts using the n-word. btw, this dude is not american and while i've heard the n-word passed around lifelessly here in SA, it bothers me a lot because people dont know the meaning of what theyre saying and just use the word. there's a similar derogatory term used here in sa, the k-word, but if u even dare use the word in jest, ur as good as dead. but this guy continued to use the n-word, and began to raise his voice and essentially bark at me and my friend, as we're walking away from this ignorant fool. best of all, this guy was black. and ignorant. and racist. flashes of mississippi.

i thought i could just pass this on as another annoying moment in the span of many annoying moments, but i realised later, when i couldnt sleep, that it really bothered me, and, at the time, i wasnt sure exactly why. later, i was chatting to a friend who used to go to this lounge all the time. he mentioned that this same bouncer dude had done the same thing to him when he brought 2 black girls with him; i.e. make up some story about why he couldnt let them into the bar. this guy actually comfronted him about his actions being racist and the bouncer dude just shrugged it off. this guy, like myself, will never step foot in this lounge again.

so why the title. so often when someone utters the word racism or racist we immediately think of a white person doing something to a black person. i think it has become fashionable these days for a black person to outdo white counterparts with regard to racist actions. but since theyre black, and believe that it is impossible for them to be racist, they somehow justify their actions to themselves. however, these people (whether the bouncer guy or the guy following black people in stores, or the police officer racially profiling) want to justify their actions, it is utterly and totally racist, no matter what colour you are. And how are blacks to move beyond and ahead if we continue to mimick and perpetuate the racist actions done to our own kind in the past? I'm not sure i would have been as angry if a white person had denied entry because of the colour of my skin. but for a black person to mimick the same action? thats just another level of disgusting.

i hope the title is not taken to imply that i think white people are racist in general. thats not my point. in fact, as i mentioned, i think most of us have elements of racism within us and the sooner we recognise this, we can develop ways to correct it. while ignorance may be bliss, it is also the surest way to stagnation and backward-thinking. my point, i guess, is that we, as black people, and south africa, as a nation (US could also be included here) are going nowhere, if people within the same race can't even be solid in their stance against racism. i dare that idiot of a bouncer to complain if he is stopped by the police while driving for no reason other than that he is black. how can you complain about an institution when you are part and parcel in perpetuating the same system/mode of thinking?

thats it for my rambling. will try to lighten up the next post.