Since I arrived in South Africa, the top 2 questions I've been asked include variations of :
1. What the hell are you doing here? And
2. When are you leaving?
Neither of these questions had simple answers per se, but I tried my best to answer with something like "because of the World Cup" and "whenever you kick me out", respectively. A few months ago when I decided that my time in South Africa would come to an end (for now) at the end of May, the general reaction was a slight bit of shock, but a whole lotta: "yeah, I kind of expected that" or "what took you so long to make a decision we've suspected for so long?". Great friends I have, huh?! (Also shows how much South Africans appreciate the beauty of their country)
So I'm not sure what was tougher, making a decision to leave a place I've sincerely called home for the last 5 years or realizing that I was somehow acceding to the expectations of so many. Had I become so predictable, my actions so expected?
Regardless, the day finally came and here I am at the Heathrow Airport for my 4 hour layover before making the final leg to Washington, D.C. By far, this was the hardest move I've ever done in my life, and I hope they don't get much harder than this.
In the run up to the move, I started a top 30 list of things I'll miss about south africa...things and people that I have deeply enjoyed over the last 5 years. See the list in the post below. It really wasn't that tough to come up with 30 things I'll miss about South Africa; I could have come up with many more. Someone asked me if I mentioned my friends as one of the things, which I didn't. I explicitly left them out mostly because all of them featured in so many of the other items I mentioned. For example, I went hiking, went on road trips, organized and attended braais, spent birthdays, etc. with friends, some so close that they are more like family to me than merely friends. So infused in all the 30 things mentioned are special times spent with those I love dearly...you all know who you are. You will be sorely missed.
In one of my very very early blogs, I admitted that one of my stated expectations when coming to SA was that I would leave a markedly different and much more mature person than I was in 2007. I was not talking about average growth that happens whether you like it or not, but the kind that I would almost feel like a new man. Looking back, I must say that I did not expect the level of growth that I have experienced. In pretty much every part of my being, I have experienced significant growth and some outright change from what I used to be. My relations with others, my faith, my view of myself, my views on life, of love and of God are only a few areas that have grown exponentially. This ubuntu adventure has taken me to heights I never expected to reach; it has brought me into contact with people that have blessed and probably will continue to bless me immensely.
As I enter a new adventure, I have to say that I'm a bit anxious that it will not live up to the previous one. However, something tells me it will be just as adventurous, and maybe even more so. On the flight out of Johannesburg, as I gazed out of the window into the clouds, unsure how to feel and perhaps longing to change my mind one last time, I remember feeling consumed with a feeling of ease and expectation. It was as if something was telling me: "just wait till I show you what I have in store for you". As I tried to conjure up sadness and regret, I could feel an equal and opposite reaction that wouldn't let those negative feelings through. There is a season for everything.
So I'm eager to see what the new adventure has got for me. I've left behind some of the most important people in my life, but I know there are greater things waiting for me...
Post-post(1)
I stalled in posting this blog, so it's a bit outdated. I'm now in DC and have been for a couple days and it still feels surreal. It's been good to hook up with family and friends and I hope to continue to do that over the next couple of months. It'll be nice to remind them of what i look and sound like and be reminded of what they look and sound like as well!
Post-post(2)
This blog will now be officially retired; who knows, another may take its place in the future. For now, I will try to focus more on my other website which has not been getting as much attention as it deserves. Check it out, you won't regret it: www.karoafrica.org.
