the *real* secret to success in life!

so, as most people do not know, one of the things i'm most passionate about in life is entrepreneurship. not so much being an entrepreneur; i'm too risk averse for that. more so, finding a way to encourage entrepreneurs and hopefully one day helping govts and organisations to see the benefits of entrepreneurship and develop practical ways to reduce the often overly obtrusive barriers to entry. besides those closest to me, however, you would never know that this is one of my passions. sadly, it is one of several "hobbies" that i have absolutely no time to devote to.

this post is not about my lost passions, though. it is precisely about entrepreneurship. kind of. a couple days ago i read a blog post from an org i've been following for the last 5+ years, called growthink. this org focuses on everything and anything to do with entrepreneurs, particularly in the states. from writing business plans to consulting to investing, etc, this org is pretty clued up and has grown significantly over the years. the moment i saw the title and tag line of this blog, i was intrigued. i have to admit, when i saw the title ("the secret of success in business and life") appear in my inbox, i immediately searched for the delete button - much like you probably wanted to ignore this post when you saw the title! for some reason, though, before i did that, I managed to skim through the tag-line and my interest was peaked. it went something like "you're probably skeptical of anyone saying they have the secret formula (i was/am), but like nothing else i've ever read, this is spot on (hmmm...)". the parenthetical italic-ed comments are my own, btw.

anyway, i decided to go to the blog to find out more. you can check it out here. the blog was about a book title The Leadership Challenge by James Kouzes and Barry Posner (recently added to my list of "soon" to read books). This is what peaked my interest: the author says "the secret to success in life is to stay in love"! WHAT? or better WTF??! apparently:

"Staying in love gives you the fire to ignite other people, to see inside other people, to have greater desire to get things done than other people. A person who is not in love doesn't really feel the kind of excitement that helps them to get ahead and to lead others and to achieve. I don't know any other fire, any other thing in life that is more exhilarating and is more positive a feeling than love is."

just some BS logic to sell a book, right? i also found it interesting that, like any good businessman, dave, the author of the blog and owner of the org, put his 3 cents in and translated the quote to mean that people must be passionate about what they do. while i think that's true, i also think that's pretty much given, and not really a secret. and quite frankly, i don't think it captures what Kouzes & Posner are saying. i sincerely think that by being and staying in love, Kouzes & Posner mean, being and staying in love. not with your business or with your ideas (duh), but with someone. i am absolutely no expert on this, but do find it strangely interesting and worthy of some thought, discussion, and of course, another blog post.

more on this. coincidentally, i was having drinks with a close friend the day after reading this, chatting about everything and anything, from girls (the fact that i have none) to work (bleh) to the many business ideas that we have and never implement, etc. completely out of the blue, he blurts out, "you know, folu, i've decided that we really need to find you a girl...i really think what will take you to the next level in life is to be in love"! i typically brush off these types of comments with a joke or a voetsek, both of which i used artfully to get out of this topic as well. but, in my mind, i was reminded of the blog from growthink. next level? love? success? whats the connection? could it be my hurt from my last failed love that holding me back and enabling much of the dissatisfaction i have in my current job? could it be true that finding and staying in love will somehow translate to success in business and in life? is it that simple? i guess being in love does teach you a lot of things in life. Kouzes & Posner use words like "excitement", "desire", "fire" "exhilarating" and "ignite". Those terms, used to describe feelings of one who's in love, can also be used to describe the day-to-day outlook of an entrepreneur, no? you need excitement and desire to start your own thing and ensure that it grows and thrives. hell, you need excitement and desire to live life to its fullest and be satisfied in what you do and who you are.

so what does this mean? if you're not in love, you can't be a good entrepreneur? if i dont find love, i wont move to the "next level" of mankind and achieve satisfaction or, as jerry mcguire would put it, completeness? what is it about this warm and fuzzy feeling anyway that inspires people to action and enables entrepreneurs to get the most out of their businesses and employees? do i actually believe in this hog-wash? makes a bit of sense. actually makes a lot of sense. so its on like donkey-kong. the search for love and this elusive next level, that is. any takers?

how much does your boss make?

Last weekend, i spent some time with 2 very distinct and pretty different groups of people. thinking about that night, i noticed such a stark contrast not only in terms of the conversations that we had, but more so in my response to the conversations and my feelings during and after the encounters.

set 1, i like to call the new young crew. here were young'uns who seemingly wanted to make a difference, but wer also obviously skeptical. they were quite an eclectic mix, including those that worked for ngos, private companies with social focuses (or is it foci), those passionate about building up african leaders and entreprenuers, etc. talking to these guys and gals really re-juvenated me and i could feel a bit of my youthful hope come back again. only a bit tho...

pan over to group 2. later the same day, i spent the rest of the night with the group known simply as dear friends. these guys i've known for a few years now and some i feel like i've known for most of my life. some of them can still remember wild dreams of making a difference, but had since been hit by reality bugs. much of our dialogue revolved around money and more money and cars and houses and more bling. it was about how much you made and how much your boss makes and what you need to do in order to get to where you matter (of course, "matter" purely defined by your salary and bonuses). i hope my sheer excitement (and sarcasm, hopefully) shines through my words.

frankly, i dont think those kinds of convos have ever interested me. but im not gonna lie, i like having money and certainly believe that it's necessary. but to make a whole night of discussion out of money (or at least most of it) got quite a bit depressing as well. are we really so defined by how much we make and what we can do to earn more? why the obsession with earning more or looking to emulate those that do? are we defined by our economic class? does our social status depend on it? admittedly, the answer to some of these questions is "yes", whether i choose to accept it or not. but does it have to remain like that?

now im being a bit too harsh on group #2; afterall i did enjoy talking to them. both groups in fact had something in common. i think ultimately, we all want to make a name for ourselves and want to make a difference, either in the lives of our families, those immediately around us, or in our community, locale, country, world. how we do that, i guess, is where the 2 groups might differ (tho not necesarily so).

i would like to think that i enjoy discussing ways of impacting the world around me, practically, than how i'm gonna get rich. i think i would rather make others around me wealthy and well off (the right way, of course) than exploit from them for my own good. don't get me wrong tho, i also need to live comfortably and need a career that caters to my home, vehicle, and vacationing desires. but am i really that old fashioned or naive to think that i can find or make a career that does not see as mutually exclusive the 2 goals of helping people and making money at the same time? (that might look and feel like a question, but i have a pretty good answer to it!) am i crazy to enjoy discussions about what i did to make that money that im making, regardless of what it is, than simply talking about the money.

i think i lot of people misread me and my mba (thats right, the degree that keeps me warm at night!). a lot of my post-mba discussions now for some reason start and end with exclamations of how this degree should just launch me salary-wise and how i need to start looking to buy and enjoy certain pleasures in life now that i hold the almighty capitalist degree. while i definitely expect to earn more money because of the mba, i dont think its a license to start having discussions about money for money sake. hmm, for some reason, that just doesnt seem very interesting to me. maybe im a bit odd?

side note: comedian steve harvey writes, in his book, that men are driven by "who they are, what they do and how much they make". until they accomplish these things, they are unlikely to feel they've fulfilled their destiny as men. dunno what i think about that, but it reminds me of one word. and that word is: bullshit!

so what did i take away from this night with the 2 sets of people? not sure, but it looks like i dont like to have lengthy conversations thats purely revolve around money and how much i need to be making (or gloating over what one celebrity did with their money and how i need to do the same...). i'd much rather discuss what i do. what i really do (which may or may not be my current job). what im passionate about. what gets me up in the morning. what keeps me going like an energiser bunny. what im so enthralled about that i could do for the rest of my life. what stirs my passion and livelihood so much that i would give my life for. the only problem is i haven't really found that thing. until then, i think i will keep looking for convos that are interesting, continue challenging my ultra-idealistic friends (like group 1) and their funny ideas, while challenging the group 2-ers to find something way more interesting than bonuses and cars to talk about (i mean, com'on!). or maybe i should just let loose and party!

post-post: happy superbowl sunday!

whats in a church?

i love my church. i love real people. esp. i love real christians. my church seems to have a lot of them. i think everyone should go to my church. everyone in sa who wants to know how real reconciliation should be done should go to my church. they're not perfect; in fact, not even close. and its this realisation that allows them to be real and brutally honest. to be broken. sweetly broken. and embrace healing. it allows them (blacks, whites, indians, foreigners, etc) to confess that theyre racist, and at the same time joke and laugh about racism. it allows them to shun divorce and yet actively embrace divorcees. Etc...

Welcome back trevor (church pastor); we've missed you.