i want to be angry

[i don't really know if this is appropriate or not. i apologise to anyone i offend by this post; just how i feel]

the handsome, bubbly kid in the pics above. his name is emma (short for emmanuel. short for god with us). he's the only child of one of the most courageous and god-fearing missionaries i know in uganda. he's dead. car accident. along with his mom and his grandma.

i want to be angry. very angry. i really do. i need to be angry. and i want to stay angry. i don't know who/what to be angry at. i don't know what to do.

i'm praying for his father and uncle and rest of his family; can't imaging what theyre going thru. is that really all i can do? why did this have to happen? why am i filled with so much emotion? don't these things happen all the time? will i, in a few days or weeks, go back to my normal life and only think of emma and gorretti every once in a while?

last week i saw a man who had just been hit by a car, lying, face to the ground, in the middle of the street. i didn't see the hit, but it mustve been absolutely brutal. the guy attempted to raise his head (thank god he wasn't dead). he may have wished he was. i could see his face completely covered in blood. all the limbs were still in place, as far as i could tell. but judging from the writhing look on his face, his moans, and the crowds surrounding him, it mustve been a sizable hit. i drove away. shocked. barely able to drive. a few days latter, i only seldom think of it.

couple weeks ago, the theme around was failing relationships. people really close to me. people in my church. everywhere, there was news of troubled families and failing relationships. the hurt in people's eyes, whether directly impacted or not, was/is enough to break ones heart. a couple weeks later, i only sometimes pray for them. even when i do, is that really all? pray and wait? hope and pray? trust and obey?

i wanna go to a place where i can hold the intangibles and let go of the pain with all my mind;
i wanna go to a place where i'm suspending in ecstasy;

somewhere, between dark and light;

where wrong becomes right; i wanna go to beautiful...

after the tears subside, i'm gonna drown myself in music.

happy new year, like woah!

alright i'm a bit late, but thats something i can live with so tough. better late than never. i just got back from my lengthy vacation to the states a couple days ago and just now getting back to work, catching up on sleep, and acclimating back to sa.

before i go any further, i would just like to pay my dues to the Charles de Gaulle airport in paris (disclaimer: i am an ardent france lover). at the risk of drawing the wrath of my french friends, i would just like to say that cdg is likely the worst airport ever put together (and i choose my words carefully). sure, the french gave us the lovely statue of liberty, and Tour Eiffel; however, when it comes to putting together something that is supposed to be functional and useful, they seem to be lacking. I am sure to put together this airport, they took over a village with small huts, renovated these huts with airport looking signs, then decided they were going to put together an elaborate system of trains and buses and link-rail thingies to connect everything. bottom line, it takes forever to get anywhere, especially cuz u cannot simply run or walk, but must wait for 3 or 4 connectors and sit in these connectors while it goes 30 minutes to get from terminal 2A, for example, to terminal 2B. To illustrate what i mean, i have summoned my creative juices and provided this exquisite view of Terminal 2 at Charles de Gaulle airport:

you may think that there is no terminal 2D...but thats what they want you to think...look harder, o young padawan.

moving on, my christmas/new years break was really nice. nice, though, does not describe the crazy, freezing weather i was greeted with in chicago and for a few days in st louis. i think sa has seriously softened my skin when it comes to the weather cuz i was not happy. tho, as one friend rightly put it, thats probly countered by the fact that sa has seriously toughened my skin when it comes to violence! luckily, i learned the ancient art of the blanket/heater mix! thanks friend.

if there was a theme to my holiday time this year, it was marriage, dating and love. sounds super soft, hey?! well, weather it was in relation to me, my family, friends, etc, i think i found myself talking about these topics more often than i usually do. and i mean serious discussions. seriously. and long. i can't say that any decisions were made or ground breaking answers found, but lots of questions were asked and interesting points taken. you can't really get to answers until you've correctly defined the questions, right? so what were some of those questions?

- when should one get married?

- how do you know you're ready to be married?

- what does it mean to be ready? and is not being ready really a valid excuse?

- is it worth risking being with the woman/man of ur dreams just cuz u think ur not ready?

- is it worth risking being with the woman/man of ur dreams if u push her/him to be ready when they aren't?

- why does it seem that women are more likely to be ready faster than men?

- what is the role of love? and what does it look like?

- how does one move from that to the much bigger step of marriage?

- can you love someone so much, but not feel like they are a good partner for marriage?

- what role does dating play? what does dating look like? what does dating in the christian context look like?

- what are people's must-have's and deal breakers?

- how is it that 2 seemingly "perfect for each other" people find it difficult to start or engage in a relationship?

- can 2 people who don't quite fit each others' checklists completely, be compatible?

- what role do parents and family play in the decision?

- why are so many people eager to get married, when we hear horror stories all the time, especially about the first couple, few yrs?

- whats all the hassle about?

it may seem like those are a lot of questions, but i was at home for 3 weeks and those only scratch the surface of the discussions i had. so the resolution is really that i will continue to ponder these. no, they will probably not overwhelm me (don't worry, mom and dad, i'm not getting married anytime soon), but its interesting to think about such things every once in a while. i would say one thing that i think i think, is there is no use rushing into things. for something as important as marriage, the process of getting to know someone, taking your time, asking the right questions, and allowing love to fester is far more important than the decision to get married. thats what i think i think, for now.

one of my buddies put up a note that kind of relates to this. one of his lessons from 2008 was: "You don't get second chances. Never act like you can do your best to get another chance. If it happens, it's the exception, not the status quo. If you get a shot, take it. Don't wait." Not sure I completely agree with that, perhaps due to my non-type A characteristic. I think we get second chances all the time; however, i agree that we cannot count on getting these 2nd chances in order to make our move, but we also shouldnt be overly discourage because there is a strong possibility that we'll get another chance.

finally, new new years resolution (inspired by the friend from above, and others): use more similes and metaphors (ex: comparing woah to new years). yep, working on that one.

one year later..

wow, i've now been in sa for a year (and a bit)! i dunno, for me it definitely does not feel like its been a year. i still get lost a lot (like just this afternoon). i still can't understand when people talk "african" to me (tho i've learned, whether good or bad, to simply reply with a good and crisp "sharp sharp"...). i still introduce myself as the new guy; the recent transfer, etc. time flies.

wow #2, i actually started this blog more than a week ago and haven't really been able to finish it for one reason or another. i have a couple hours before i leave for the airport now and i figured it was a good time to try and finish it. actually, i scraped most of my initial idea and am going to try something new. it may feel like preaching, but i really hope its more open and raw than i usually am. (forgive me if it ends up sounding a bit preachy)

2 things kept running through my mind this afteroon. the first: i had a little get together/braai/ bbq yesterday and one of my friends facetiously asked me if this had been the best year of my life. i brushed it off with some joke or another and said something to the effect of not looking at my years in that manner. everyone has things they can look back to each year and be really excited about or really sad about. so no, i don't really qualify or rank my years as best or worst. that question also actually evoked in me thoughts of all the bad and frustrating aspects of the past year. not exactly sure why, but thats where i found my mind wondering; there's my car, my work, adventures at the bank, my stolen cell phone, my expensive internet, my family and friends i left back in the us, etc...i mean with all those things this couldn't possibly have been my best year, right? those thoughts remained with me till today, particularly this morning at church (which btw, was a struggle to get myself up to go to this morning, but so glad i went...otherwise this lovely blog entry would not have been created).

so this brings me to the 2nd thing that crept up into my thoughts this morning/afternoon. a while back i was talking to a friend on gmail and i wrote something really spontaneously and then later realised that i actually meant it. i said that i had full intention to ensure that my stay in south africa (however long it will be) will bring about a radically new, improved, and mature me. I really felt (and desired) that i would be changed in a good, disciplined and godly way. now that process is not a quick one, im learning. and it can be painfully slow at times, and definitely hasn't happened yet, but i'm still pretty optimistic that it will happen.

now what the 2 things have in common is a bit obscure i know, but for some reason, putting those 2 together today, i came to the conclusion that actually, this has probably been my best year so far, in the sense that every successive year has been better than the previous. but this year especially i've learned so much, been exposed to so much, and had a chance to meet different people and experience different places and ideas than i normally would have.

since this thought came about at church, i can start with my experience at church. it took me a while to really find a church that i liked. and even when i had been attending the one i attend now, i was unwilling for several months, to commit, as there were loads of things i wasnt too confortable with or wanted different (this is pretty similar to my experience in chicago when i first got there). anyway, something made me stick to the church and im really glad that i did. at this church ive had the opportunity to:

• get a feel of a truly integrated environment. to be sure, this is NOT at all common in "the new" south africa.
• experience people that are open and real about themselves, their faith, and their struggles. and become comfortable (a bit) with sharing about mine.
• understand the true meaning of affirmation. usually my worst times at work are when we do annual reviews cuz then the manager gets to tell you things that u do well and what u can improve on. i love the constructive criticism; its the good part that always makes me uncomfortable for some reason. so when talk of affirmation comes, i've always dismissed it as unnecessary. but i can say with confidence that us guys NEED affirmation (don't even try to deny it). over the last couple months or so, ive met someone whos a mentor, friend, brother (from another mother), father, guide...all rolled up in one. and ive been so blessed not only by his wisdom and our breakfasts, but also his affirmation. god seems to provide this for me everywhere that i go, but its not until now that i'm realizing the tru value. more on this later.
• be in community with some awesome people doing awesome things. involvement in the community is a huge thing at this church. even this morning the senior pastor, to the initial chagrin of the preacher, got everyone up before the guy started preaching and asked us to fill up food boxes that was to go to zimbabwe cuz they just got a whole bunch of food and they were worried how they would pack them all in time. it took us like 10 minutes, and it was chaotic, but it was "holy chaos", as the senior pastor (black, btw, in a white church) described it. at the end, every one was so blessed and many shared how that touched them.
• speaking about community, there just so many quality people at this church, always trying to get me to be involved (very un-vineyard-like!), and coming up to me just to chat or whatever.

my friends here have made this an amazing year. ive learned so much from them. one friend teaches me all the time about issues that i would not have thought about or discussed cuz i used to be on the opposite spectrum of such arguments and would not listen to people like him. another close friend challenges me on my stance (very american or un-african, she calls it). this same friend has taught be so much about being a good/caring friend and how to treat women. but isnt me, myself, and i enough?! this same friend also has contributed to the affirmation aspect i talked about above. to hear someone tell you that you know how to be a good man, etc, is more touching than most things (take note girls!). these are just examples, but all my friends have contributed to my "learning" in some way or another. and of course are loads of fun.

finally, my adventures have been incredible. most of the pictures, i've posted here or on my picasa page. i admit im not the most adventurous person (and south africa is really good for reallly adventurous people), but the little that ive been able to do have been great. how can adventures in uganda, drakensberg, pilanesberg, cape town, and of course jo burg not make this the best year! theres lots more places im looking forward to going to next year, so probably next year will be even better...

now on to things im looking forward to for next year; sort of my new years resolution, a couple weeks early (and anyone can hold me to this):

• do more random trips to random places
• go safari-ing
• be more involved in community
• take the gmat; get my mba
• find ways to enjoy my work
• eat more mangos
• there's probably more, but my ride is now waiting for me, see y'all on the flip side...

random thought #354106756: i was reading thru some of my very early blogs just now and i noticed a couple things:

- my blog entries have gotten significantly longer. i think that might have something to do with the fact that i write less often, so more to say i guess. or maybe ive just learned the art of rambling a bit more. probly the latter.

- and whats up with me and obama?? its like this guy is the 2nd coming of the saviour!

merry christmas.

things i'm thankful for

well, its thanksgiving day in the U.S., normally a big family (and football) affair, but this year i'll spend what i believe to be my first thanksgiving away from any kind of immediate family. nevertheless, i'm with them in spirit and i'll be there in a couple weeks anyway, so not feeling too bad about it :P i thought i'd dedicate a post to the things i'm thankful for, in the name of thanksgiving.

anyone who scoured this blog a bit ago would've probably noticed that i tended to complain about a lot of things that didn't go as planned (banking, phone contract, car, electricity, work...). and even in one of my first blogs, i attempted to write about my likes and dislikes so far and, although completely unintended, my dislikes list ended up far greater than my likes (in number tho, not necessarily in magnitude). its now been almost a year since i've been in south africa and i will attempt to do a similar thing as i list what im most thankful for. Now, of course, there are times when i still get frustrated (tho i try not to dwell on those times), but thank god i have people in my life to remind me by asking "does it raise the price of bread in my home?" or tell me "welcome to africa". leave it to my dad the other day to remind me as he very often (and in perfect timing does): "Don't stress yourself with work and never loose your focus". thanks paps. ok, on to my thankful items, in no particular order.

1. The weather, especially the sun. i'll be the first to admit that im not a huge fan of hot hot weather. but the weather here is not intensely hot yet (its getting there i think). for most of the year tho, its been absolutely beautiful weather. sometimes i just sit outside in the cool, breezy evenings and think if i came to south africa for nothing else, this would be it! now, as much as i love the weather and the sun (when its not too hot), i wish someone would do something about the sun rising at 5AM. i tend to wake up with the sun and its no fun having my body force me to wake up at this crazy hour!

2. Melodous (south) african music. i like all sorts of music, but traditional south african music is probably the most beautiful sound you have ever heard. it incorporates all the sorts of tones, languages, pitches, etc etc. and the dancing! one day i will learn proper traditional dancing. its lovely.

3. uncle obama's victory! ok, i couldn't help it; i had to put that one in. after following the rise of this man for 4 years diligently (like every day, 4 times a day...), im glad its over. or at least the campaigning side. and glad it ended up in a resounding victory for obama. and a resounding victory for the civil rights movement. and a resounding victory for good thinking and progressive americans.

4. getting a chance to go to uganda and meet some really awesome people, pray with random people (tho not strangers), and see awesome things and get to milk an awesome cow...

5. back to sa. the scenery. mountains, deserts, game... try to tell me that that's not beautiful!

6. palm trees in cape town.

7. learning words like "yoh" and "sharp" (or "chap") and "china" (no not the country, and pronounced "chauna") and "boet" and "dumeleng" and "eta" and "howzzit" and "just now" and "chap chap" and the list goes on and on.. also realising that say many of them all wrong.

8. guava juice. i used to love these guava fruit as a child and then i think i forgot about it until now. along the same lines is fanta orange (also buy it all the time). yes, fanta is in the states, but oh, my young padawan, its not the same thing.

9. MAngos! ive been in mango withdrawal for a months now bcuz theyve been out of season, but now theyre coming back as its getting warmer. plus i think i might just go back to the scary "adams family" guy to get them. theres just something about that voice and look that says i will devour you limb by limb that u just cant stay away from...

10. mugg and bean muffins. they are close to matching up to starbucks in my book. tho instead of having muffins and coffee from mugg and bean every other day, ive cut it down to every saturday (or at least i try; sometimes i go through withdrawals during the week and i just cant help myself).

11. realising that i live in a country with 11 official languages! a source of frustration at times (much harder to pick anything up than in a monolingual society). but more often a source of amazement and awe.

12. friends. really good friends. some who make me realize that im not such a good friend at times, but thats a good lesson to learn. some who challenge me in words, actions and thoughts. i had little expectations coming here, but ive been pleasantly surprised by the quality of friendships that ive been able to develop. these guys and gals are like family to me here. which brings me to my next point.

13. family. my family in the us never let me forget that theyre still there, even when i go MIA for some time. calls, emails, skypes, etc. my (indirect) family in sa never letting me forget theyre still there, even when i go MIA for some time!

14. god. indescribable. uncontainable. untameable. incomparable. unchangeable. amazing. you see the depths of my heart and u love me the same...ok i stole that from a chris tomlin song, but all the same. amazing.

There's so much more to be thankful for, but i'll stop here. maybe pick up another day. btw, in case anyone is interested, more pics at this site: link.

Happy Turkey Day!

cape town

I just got back from a mini-vacation/ roadtrip to cape town and it was lovely. the driving was a bit hectic, 18hrs to (had to detour), 15hours back, but we made it in one piece, mostly. cape town is an amazingly beautiful city with lots of scenic views and mountains and beaches, etc. i'm in a rush now and don't really have time to write much, but check out the pics from the picasa link below (pics are usually better than my words anyway). enjoy.

link: http://picasaweb.google.com/okunadef/CapeTown#

thoughts on election night/morning

Wow what an awesome ending to an awesome night/morning/campaign! so i watched the election night at this restaurant/bar in jo-burg with anywhere b/w 50-100 people which was really cool. i must admit tho, while watching the results, listening to music, groaning as the dstv(cable) kept shutting off and back on, i grew a bit jealous. cnn kept showing grant park in chicago all night, where barack obama would hold a rally later in the night. they showed a huge stream of people there early, just to get a good view point. but while watching the crowds fill up downtown chicago and then make a mad rush into grant park as they opened the gates, i had my first real moment (i think) where i genuinely missed chicago and wished that i was there. i hope y'all that went took some good pics.

i must say i was completely unprepared for the way i would feel if/when obama actually won. this is probably due to the fact that i never expected him, a black man, to actually get as far as he did. yes, i've admired and followed him since 2004 when he made his speech at the DNC and captured the whole nation with his brilliance, eloquence and idealism. and when he committed to running, i was fully behind him. but still, i couldnt see how a new face on the national scene who hadn't "put in his time" could go on to win the democratic nomination. i liked and respected the clinton, not so much for bill's foreign policies or personal endeavors, as much as for the same qualities that i saw in obama - the ability to motivate, inspire and lead. because of bill, i figured hillary was unstoppable. even after obama won the democratic nomination, i could still see a clear path the defeat, given the republican attack machine or the democrats amazing abilities to screw things up majorly. so all this to say that when john king on cnn could not map out a way for mccain to win, even in the early stages of voting results or when they started passing out the champaign and glasses at the restaurant, i vehemently rejected the notion, claiming it wasn't over till the magic number (electoral votes) said it was over (regardless of what the "magic wall" said).

and when, around 5:30 or 6AM south african time, cnn announced the california had closed their polls and the state (obviously) had been put in the obama column, pushing obama past the magic #, i was simply stunned. i think my first reaction was silence for about 2 seconds. then silence turned into jubilation as the screaming reached fever pitch and people grabbed whatever they could to make some noise and let all the neighbors know that "amerrricans were in da haus", and everyone started hugging each other. then the jubilation, for others, turned into tears of joy, of hope. that's when i decided to leave; i figured i had just enough time, if i left immediately, to make it home and catch obama as he made his acceptance speech. i dont think ive ever made it home from this part of town as fast as i did this morning.

as i drove home, i listened to some radio commentators speak about the election and heard some of mccain's concession speak (and regained respect for the man, after a nasty as hell campaign). but there was still something missing, i had no emotion attachment to it. this was a black man, just elected by white people to lead them in one of the most trying of times. to be the leader of the "free world".

getting home i immediately tuned on to cnn minutes before obama began speaking. i saw a couple cnn commentators, black, recount what this means to them. they of course invoked names such as frederick douglas, rosa parks, martin luther king, and many others that had paved the way for something like this to happen; barack obama's name, regardless of what he does as president, could now be included in that list. i watched as they couldnt finish their sentences and the camera panned away to avert too much embarrassment. then obama began:

"If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible, who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time, who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer."

The camera panned to the audience. white, black, latino, asian, men, women, children had one thing in common (probly more than one actually): they were mostly crying. then the screen went to the ebenezer church in atlanta. most people crying. then the camera found oprah. she was crying. and finally it rested on the rev jesse jackson. he was weeping. never mind what jesse jackson has become lately, but from the 60s to the early 90s, he was a champion for civil rights within the us as well as outside (as one of the staunchest us critics to the then sa apartheid regime). i am a grown man (well at least sometimes), but i'm not afraid to admit that that frame of jesse jackson did it for me. I could no longer hold back the emotions. i felt tears running down my face. why this emotion? was i witnessing the second coming of jesus or something? absolutely not, i realized at that moment that i wasn't tearing for the man. i doubt many people were. i hadn't adamantly followed his campaign because of him. rather, it was what he stood for and what he meant. in obama, the candidate, you could not only view the prospects of tomorrow, but also the pains of the past. this is why i think jesse jackson was weeping.

i cannot claim to understand what slavery or institutionalised discrimination or separation or apartheid was like. i never went through any of those times. i only know from what i've read and watched and heard people speak about. that 40yrs after mlk was assassinated and segregation was outlawed and only a bit more than 100yrs after slavery was made illegal, a black man could be chosen to lead a white nation - a nation with the most influence on earth - was something i never thought i would see - simply an act of god. i think obama tried to play down the historic aspect of this election, but it was clear without him saying a word. u saw it in the faces of those old enough to remember, those who had never voted because they didnt think it would count, because they believed they would be shut out cuz america doesnt care about the black vote, and those who couldnt look their children in the eye and tell them they could truly be anything they wanted to be, because they didnt think it was true. now they know. the past pains have brought us to this moment, when americans of all races can be confident that with hard work, the sky really is the limit. now, im not so naive to think that this is the end of institutionalised barriers for people of colour, but my goodness, what a giant step in the right direction!

in obama, i saw not the man, but what he stood for: the embodiment of what so many fought for (not to be judged by the colour of their skin but by the content of their character), the promise of the future, the future of children, the future of america (the immediate impact and improvement that this election made on the world stage cannot be under-emphasized), and the hope that though there were still real and difficult challenges to face, americans were (for one night at least) united (at least 52% of them!), inspired, and motivated; ready to be challenged yet again to seek what they can do for their country and not simply what their country can do for them. obama will disappoint. he will fail, at least once. but we should never forget the impact that this election (whether in the symbolic sense or in the practical sense) had on whites, blacks, browns, peaches, beiges, and tons of foreigners.

president barack obama...thats gonna take a while to get used to.

back from haitus

well its been a very long time since i last posted, and unfortunately/fortunately this one will be short and sweet, with hopes of long and sweet posts to follow shortly.

- first, i've come to the realisation that i have been a junkie for US presidential politics for almost 2 years now. i've always been a fan of politics (esp US and 'african'), but this period has been even better/worse (however you look at it). I wonder how much worse it would be were I actually living in the states and inundated with 24-hr polical coverage and robo-calls. hmm, i really wish i was still living in stl right now, actually. there was a nyt op-ed about a week or so ago in which the author lamented the fact that she didnt live in a "toss-up" or "battleground" state, and therefore was not privy to all the robo-calls and visits and negative campaigning and polling calls during dinner, etc. i feel the exact same way. shame. maybe one day. I'm also very proud of ST. LOUIS for showing such a huge sign of support for b-obama, coming out a record (at the time) 100,000+ strong to a rally held in one of the most beautiful spots in the city - the lawn of the Arch.

- second south african politics is no less exciting these days either. since 1994, sa has been effectively a 1-party state, belonging to the African National Congress (ANC). sure, there are other 'opposition' parties, but not nearly strong enough or black enough or 'comrade' enough. but in the last few weeks, scores of people have been resigning from the ANC to potentially form another party soon in time to contest for next years elections. this party will be a bit strange (in my opinion), because essentially they are billing themselves as the 'real' ANC and their name will probably be something like South African National Congress (SANC), and their charter will be very similar to the ANC and their history will be shared with that of the ANC, save the breakaway part. so in essence, they are the tru followers of the freedom charter. lots of educated blacks (and whites) that i've spoken to are actually pretty pumped about this new breakaway party. for the 1st time since '94, it has the potential of giving black who are disappointed with the way the ANC is currently being run and the crazy personalities currently running it are behaving. one of my role models, desmond tutu, has clearly stated that he may not vote for the anc next year. and i cant imagine that former prez mbeki and reigning idol, nelson mandela are too thrilled with the way the party is going. it's unclear that any of these individuals will actually vote for another party, particularly since the party has played such a huge part in their lives and their making; however, it is also clear that they appear to be disgruntled by the current leadership and the direction towards which the party is heading. mbeki himself publicly (in a letter) just disassociated himself with any party politics (esp the ANC) in the near future. i can;t blame any of these guys; its difficult to be proud of a party that has behaved like the ANC has recently with 1) the current pres still trying to settle criminal charges lobbied against him; 2) the sexual assault/rape accusation still lingering over the president's head (even tho that case has been closed); 3) uneducated, thuggish hooligans running the ANC youth league threatening to "kill" for zuma and seemingly attempting to take on a more prominent role in the future of sa politics; and the list goes on... so in a sense, the breakaway party will provide citizens that aren't happy with the current ANC, but are way too afraid and suspicious of any other (read: white) party (a very legitimate concern) an avenue to turn to. stay tuned.

3rd. these next 3 points are exciting times for me. on tuesday, im going to an all-night party. woohoo. starting at 10pm and ending 6am wed morning. yes i have work to do on wednesday, but i'll get lots of sleep when i'm dead, right?! plus theres much more important things than sleep. like the celebration or mourning of an obama victory or loss! this party is for "americans in africa for obama"! and is an election night watch. basically cnn and wine/champagne/beer and friends and free gifts and raffle stuff all night long. should be good times and heres to hoping it ends well! an aside, people outside of the US are pretty sure this election is a foregone conclusion. i think thats because outside the US (much more so than within) the media and people have gone ga-gah over obama and thats all u hear. me, i'm not so sure this election is fore-gone anything. i do not underestimate the power of americans to screw things up and make wrong decisions, like they did in 2004. plus there are way too many factors involved, not the least of which being race ("did u hear that b-obama is black?...well, kinda...more importantly, he's not like us...")

4th, in 2 weeks, i'm finally gearing up for my trip to cape town. I've been meaning to go for so long and now am finally making the trip. but this trip is no ordinary trip. its a ROAD TRIP. btw, it takes about 18 hours to get to cape town by car from joburg (2hrs by plane), so we're a bit nuts, but whats a trip without adventure?! plus i'll be accompanied by 3 of the best people in sa! ill share lots of pics when i get back.

5th, i finally bought my ticket for xmas to the states. i'll be there from 16dec to 7jan, so if you're around, hit me up or let me know (cuz i may have a different #, my old phone was victim to pick-pocketing!). so ye, excited about that. i'll be in chi-town and stl for sure, and maybe some other places.

6th, this is a last minute add-on, but i thought this was interesting. i've been meaning to write more about nigerian politics, cuz im kindof a junkie for that too. but a read this article not too long ago that a couple individuals (just normal people) that blog about nigerian politics and all the shit going on in the country that few outside hear about had been detained when they tried to enter the country, for no reason other than the fact that the run anti-nigerian government blogs. thats a bunch of kak in my opinion. but im not at all surprised; a 'civilian' nigerian government finds it hard to shake off the old habits of the 'military' government we've known for so many years. anyway, thats not really a deterrent for me, but i thought it was interesting. to all the nigerian authroites reading this (and im sure they number in the millions!), i don't have anything against nigeria, very few nigerians do. we love this great country more than most people love their countries. we simply long for the day when the rampant corruption is reigned in to an acceptable and workable level (it will never be eradicated, but it can be brought down to a level where ordinary citizens are not deeply and daily affected) and where civil liberties are obeyed and laws lawfully enforced. thats all we ask!

right, so that was longer than the short and sweet promised, but hopefully it was worthy reading. cheers and lekker dag.

edit: i forgot to mention in my earlier post that i moved this weekend. it wasn't a big move (or at least i thought in the beginning), simply moving inside the same complex but different apartment. but like i said the last couple times i moved, i'm never doing that again. it turned out to be pretty hectic. i was supposed to have movers to do most of the work, but then they left before they did a lot of the work. and cuz i relied on the movers, i hadnt told many people that i was moving so had no help. ended up moving most things by myself (and there were a lot of little things, cuz i didnt pack properly, no surprise). luckily towards the end, i was able to get some good friends to help me out and actually help me set up in the new place after i was completely spent. these guys/gals were awesome. i owe you big time! now i'm at a new place which looks a lot like the old place anyway...

thoughts on us prez debate 2

yes, i was up between 3-5AM to watch the debates live. cuz, u know, its just not the same to watch the recording on cnn or youtube or wherever, cuz then you're not among the first to hear/see the action. it aint so fresh n clean no more. so i made sure to get it fresh from the source at the time of production, or something like that.

-- in my post below, i ripped a bit on mccain's health care plans, cuz i dont think it should be deregulated or privatized. to be fair, though, i do believe that health care has become a huge overhead cost for businesses and the ones that suffer the most are usually small to medium sized businesses. so something has to be done to reform this. something other than privatization. this brings me to my criticism of b-obama's healthcare plan as well. this criticism is actually about his tax plan, but over the past few weeks, b-obama has been trying to link his tax plan directly to healthcare, so i will endulge. b-obama wants to provide a tax cut for something like 95% of americans, he says, people making under $200,000. thats great. now, the problem lies in the fact that he also wants to use a similar threshold for small businesses. he claimed in the debate that this will only affect a "few" businesses as most small businesses make under $250,000 in revenue. as a firm believer that small and medium size businesses are the buffer and core of economies i disagree strongly with this. i hope someone smart tells b-obama that there are quite a bit more than a few businesses considered small to medium sized that make more than $250,000/yr in revenue. businesses with revenues of $2mil, $3mil, even upwards of $25mil are often considered small to medium sized. any economy needs to encourage these businesses and not stymy them with taxes. the healthcare part in this comes in the fact that more and more of these businesses are going under because of the evergrowing, sky-rocketing costs of healthcare. taxing individuals that make a certain amount is fine. taxing businesses that are at the core of economic growth at the same level as individuals, i dont think is wise. not knowing too much about the tax code or even healthcare, i would suggest that there be a tax code with threshholds for indiduals which is distinct from the thresholds for businesses. it only makes sense. at least in my head.

-- another problem i had with b-obama is he was given a golden opportunity to live up to his rhetoric as i mentioned in the post below: "to tell americans the hard truth, what they need to hear, and not just what they want to hear." The moderator asked both candidates if they are ready to admit to the public that things will get muh worse before they get better. americans aren't stupid. well at least most of them. or maybe just some of them. but regardless, smart people know that the economic "down-turn" in the US has not yet reached rock bottom and it's bound to go down before it rebounds. neither was man enough to say that, but simply begged the question with some lame response of something like we can skip the worst of it and the good ole days are not too far out in the future.

-- I enjoyed mccain pointing to b-obama and proclaiming him as "that one". bring a bit of debating back to debates. US debates in the last several cycles have seriously watered down the idea of debating. i enjoyed when b-obama used the age-old trick of using the opponents words against him ("...Well, you know, Sen. McCain, in the last debate and today, again, suggested that I don't understand. It's true. There are some things I don't understand.I don't understand how we ended up invading a country that had nothing to do with 9/11, while Osama Bin Laden and Al Qaeda are setting up base camps and safe havens to train terrorists to attack us.That was Sen. McCain's judgment and it was the wrong judgment.When Sen. McCain was cheerleading the president to go into Iraq, he suggested it was going to be quick and easy, we'd be greeted as liberators.That was the wrong judgment, and it's been costly to us..."). simply brilliant. thats debating.

-- finally, moving away from the US a bit, there are now rumors (pretty substantial ones) of a breakaway party forming in SA to provide an alternative to the ANC. I sincerely hope it gathers strength and is formed on a basis of more than just anger and greed. cuz it'd be nice to talk about meaningful debate in the run-up to SA elections, rather than this "the prez is already decided 2 yrs in advance" business...

chin chin.

election rant - 1mth/7mths to go

the US election is less than 30 days away, the SA elections are about 7 months away, and we are full fledged in the midst of "silly season" in politics, as b-obama calls it. in fairness, it's hardly never silly season in politics. so in that light i think i just wanna offer a few thoughts, mostly on the us elections.

1st, apparently guilty-by-association is back, with sarah palin (who now reads the nyt) accusing obama of palling (nice choice of words) with terrorists. since they dont seem to be winning on substance, the idea is to convince americans that b-obama is not who he really says he is; that his character should be questioned and not trusted; that he's "not like us". by that, i can only assume they either mean that he is an alien, or that he's black.hmm, maybe both. and i dunno if you've heard, but u know, u can't trust those blackies. they go to churches where the pastor decries the government's treatment of minorities and the poor state of poor people in poor slums. not only that, he's also an elitist. cuz, u know, he's educated, and likes to eat healthy, and can actually put nouns and verbs and adjectives together to make a sensible sentence (take note gov), and plays basketball (wait...oops, thats not the elitist argument, thats the blackie argument)... maureen dowd from the nyt put the elitist argument nicely:

"We could, following her strenuously folksy debate performance, wonder when elite became a bad thing in America. Navy Seals are elite, and they get lots of training so they can swim underwater and invade a foreign country, but if you’re governing the country that dispatches the Seals, it’s not O.K. to be elite? Can likable still trump knowledgeable at such a vulnerable crossroads for the country?"

I would suggest that that happened around the time that g-dubbs convinced everyone that nuclear was pronounced nu-cu-lar. which brings me to the scariest thought. i'm almost sure that mccain-palin will win this election now. why? listen to the way she pronounces nu-cu-lar...she's obviously learned the lesson to winning US elections.

2nd, this 700billion dollar bailout/rescue/screw-u plan that was just passed. 700billion. i can type that and not feel anything, cuz i seriously have no idea what that kind of money feels like or looks like or means. btw, 700billion is twice the GDP of south africa, and then some. to be sure, i was actually in favor of this plan; something had to be done to save the essential institutions of the nation. but, this only confirms by skepticism of gov'ts when they claim they have no money for x, y, or z program. if its enough of a priority, you have the means. esp in the US where you can just print money apparently and it has little short term effects. who cares about long term, thats for our children to deal with... this is also a problem that, for some reason, the sa govt has been able to convince people here about. "oh, ARV's are much too expensive, these western firms just need to lower their prices." or in the us: "public education has become too expensive and ineffecient, lets just get rid of it and send everyone (who can afford it) to private schools." stuff it. then, stuff it again. the money is there. prioritize. if the education of your kids are important, u do like many africans do, like my parents did, like my parents' parents did, and you sacrifice other things because it is a priority to ejumacate your kids. if keeping you peeps from dying from HIV, depleting the workforce, or providing affordable healthcare, or improving security, etc are priorities you make it happen. in the words of napoleon dynamite, gosh!

leads me to 3rd...interesting article in the nyt (promise, its not the only newspaper i read) about the difference between b-obama's and mccain's healthcare proposals. my good friend will probably disagree with me on this, cuz he worked for a company that's trying to get people and employers hooked on buying your own healthcare type thing. this is basically mccain's proposal: to allow companies to not provide healthcare for their employees and have people buy healthcare directly from the insurer. hmm, sounds good and will be cheaper for people like me, who so far (knock on wood) rarely go to the doctor and are not a health care "risk". however, those who are sick often or older or have multiple condictions will find that buying healthcare themselves will be very expensive. market-related bullshit. so, to address this, mccain will give individuals a 2500dollar credit and families 5000 to use to buy (subsidize) healthcare; never mind that the avg health care costs are around $12000 for the avg family. so mccain solves the problem of govt/employer provided and subsidised healthcare and cuts costs, but its dangerous in my view to leave sick people without the healthcare they need. what the hell is the role of government if its not to protect citizens, keep them alive, and keep them healthy. this nyt article concludes:

"I agree: the McCain plan would do for health care what deregulation has done for banking. And I’m terrified."
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/06/opinion/06krugman.html?ref=opinion

btw, i have these same issues with the sa govt. they are just now getting serious about combating HIV and now there is a new Health minister that seems to have real plans other than eating herbs and taking showers to cure HIV. there is still no evidence that crime is seen as a real problem and is attacked head on on multiple fronts (this includes police salaries, the judicial system and process, and possibly the adoption of the death penalty). education still ranks ridiculously low in terms of priorities in my view. it also doesnt help that the govt heaps out money (not enough but ok) for education and for the past few years, the dept ends the year with millions left over. what do you they think think theyre running? an exxonmobil? a govt dept's responsibility is not to produce a profit at the end of the yr, its to spend all you have and even what you dont have and request more. but spend it wisely. currently the sa govt in terms of education is not spending nor is it spending wisely.

so far, i've ranted on and on for a while. i am, in spite of all, still an optimist and i am waiting to see president b-obama, for example, live up to his promise to "tell americans what they need to hear and not what they want to hear". so get rid of your gas guzzlers, petrol price will now be $10/gallon, because without that there will never be an incentive to invest in renewable energy- type thing. i'm looking forward to continued progress in sa as far as infrastructure, job creation, and investment in education (from early childhood on). and of course, i'm looking forward to the first world cup on african soil. people, esp white south africans, are too quick to lament to plight of sa and then pack up as quick as humanly possible to head to their paradise, aka australia. me thinks thats just silly. understandable in some cases, but silly. the glass is still half-full for sa. they just need more kicks in the rear (a strong opposition party, maybe...). as a SA newspaper put it this weekend, in 20 years, ill be proud to tell my kids that, yes, i was there.

random post #2345609: in case anyone was wondering, i had another terrific weekend (hopefully thats the case for a loong while) and for all those that often describe me as a perfect specimen (which is pretty much everyone), i would like to let you know that you were/ are...absolutely correct. i got confirmation by a very reliable and credible source this weekend that theres hardly anything wrong with me (except for one minor "thing" which of course will be dealt with in time). i would simply like to affirm all of you who believed in my perfection even when i didnt. watd'yaknow, u were right all this time!

another reallllly good/not-so-good wknd

i'm getting kinda lackadaisical about posting now. its been a hectic month. finished my first "real" project experience in a flurry; 2 weeks of very little sleep. and then i was shipped to another project where it's basically just me and on a tighter-than-it-should-be schedule. so for the first couple weeks of this proj i barely saw my bed. now the project is nearly over and i'm beginning to realise that they don't pay me nearly enough to be spending sleepless nights up working my ass off. for a while there, i thought i was back at varsity, when days kind of just meshed into one another and there was little concept of bedtime until the body just decided to crash on its own, without warning. anyway its all good now.

except for the weekend before last, the past couple weekends have been pretty darn good and fun. this past saturday, i threw my first braai (bbq) at my place. the initial plan was to start out at my place and then move on to the picnic area in the complex. but things didnt go like that. we had everything at my place which turned out really good. got to spend time with some quality/fun people (including one especially one very quality person), grillin, chattin, jokin, and jistin. it was good times. lesson one from braai #1: throw the braai the week before the maid comes, not after. there was a huge pile of dishes that i just demolished tonight. it was a mission, but i couldnt just leave it for another week or so till the maid came. which brings me to lesson 2 from braai #1: don't throw another one!...well, not for a while i guess. unless i figure out a plan to use all plastic and paper material that can be easily cleaned and if i can have it somewhere else that i dont have to bother cleaning! all things considered, i had a blast. click on the link to see pics:

first braai

sunday was another awesome day spent with an extremely awesome person. i decided to cheat on my church and go visit another one. so that was in the morning. the church service wasn't that great, but there were some good parts, and i might go back soon. but ill go back to my old church now and hopefully they wont be too upset that i ditched them for a week! spent the afternoon lunchin'....then the sucky part came: having to wake up on monday morning.

tho this weekend was great for me, it wasn't exactly the best for south africa. the ruling party decided that they were going to pressure the president (a member of the ruling party) to resign. and he did. another win for the idiots and thugs that are threatening to take over the party. i felt really bad for mbeki, but not overly bad. he really brought it on himself when he tried to emulate the former nigerian prez (obasanjo) and both ostracize his veep and try to stand for a third term as party leader and ultimately as prez of s. africa. that was a silly, unconstitutional, and divisive move and it backfired. and now he's paying for it. but also allowing factions that think out of their asses (literally) to control the party. anyway, he announced his resignation on sunday night and until monday afternoon a replacement was not announced (cuz his deputy also resigned). and that got me excited, cuz there was essentially no sa prez for that period and i thought/expected/hoped i'd see something crazy happen. cuz...u know...theres no president...well nothing happened. shame. and one guy at work actually put it nicely that having no president is still much better than having george bush. at least zero is better than negative. how tru. next couple months should be interesting.

random post #952325: i like that it took a lengthy survey for people to realize that race does play a factor in the american elections. so people now know the answer to all those questions of why obama can't "close the gap". its cuz hes black. and white people are still scared of black people. and will believe anything that "whitie-i-will-now-change-my-position-however-is-popular-mccain (see republican calling for regulations and populism. wha???) campaign spews, whether explicitly (hes a muslim) or subliminally (he's not like u) or subconsciously, or through proxies (community organising is code word for "i am the antichrist"!!). im in the wrong line of business im sure. anyway, enjoy the article and ejumacate yo-sef:
Poll: Racial misgivings of Dems an Obama issue