meet kristy and tayo

move over kate and william. theres a new hot royal couple! really, they're hot! and they're royalty!

stunning!

last weekend, i was honoured to be asked to be the best man at my brother's wedding. and it was a completely beautiful affair. the wedding was full of laughter, crying (quite a bit), some very pleasant surprises, some not so nice moments, more laughter, lots of emotions, and lots of love. leading up to the wedding, i actually tried not to think about it too much, because for those of you who know, it was a pretty emotional thing for me. I wasn't sure what to expect. Even trying to write and practice my best man toast was such a mission and emotionally draining that i put that off as well until the very last moment!

hole in 1? more like 100...

but alas, the wedding was totally beautiful. we had an amazing time. the mix of cultures with roots in africa, north america, asia, europe, etc was really an awesome sight and setting. i even played golf for the first time. ever. as my brother thought it would be a good idea to hit the course the morning of the wedding. it was. lots of fun. and the day couldnt have been more beautiful. oh, and the church was stunning, the photographer amazing, bridesmaids beautiful, the guests lovely, and on...

so, even though I've done some toasting of the couple already, I wanna do it again publicly. Here's to tayo and kristy! my big bro has always been a mentor, a guide, and a great example for me to emulate. I can see exactly what kristy sees in him and what he sees in her. they match. i can understand the countless people that came up to them to tell them what an inspiration they, individually and collectively, have been in their lives. I pray, and i know!, that you guys will continue to be more of an inspiration and light to those that are around you. I can't wait to watch you as you grow in your love and marriage. And please please please dont feel like you have to wait for those pikin's to start poppin' out! I want little nieces and nephews already! and i promise ill babysit - as long as you bring them over to SA first! 

she's really nigerian now!

keep livin, lovin, & laughin. here! here!

 

chillaxin'. too school for cool!

  

those kids can move!

nigeria votes 2011: bad start?

foremost, and with extreme jubilation, i can now announce that this blog has received an audience (a couple actually) in nigeria for the 1st time! what an achievement.

secondmost, and also with extreme jubilation, i just arrived in the us of A and spent an amazing 2 days in chicago. i really love this place! looking forward to the rest of my trip elsewhere and my foray into best-man-ing!

thirdmost, and not-so-jubil-ious, nigerian elections! so the 3 part elections were set to start on saturday, april 2. however, due to some ballot boxes not being received in certain locations, the decision was made to postpone the elections by a week. the new dates: parliamentary elections will be held on the 9th, presidential on the 16th, gubernatorial on the 22nd. about 15million people had already voted before the elections were postponed.

for the past couple of days and hrs, i've been gauging people's reactions to this on cyberspace and it aint pretty. granted, the sheer mention of postponement or hint of annulment or malpractice brings back ghost of past botched elections and stolen votes and disappointments. i get that. but, as i mentioned in my previous post, the chairman of the election commission is a widely respected man . based on that, i can't help but think he's a bit embarrased by how this has all started. that being said, it seems he would only postpone this if he was witnessing already some malpractices and things that were simply not right. the whole world is watching. nigerians are on the edge. he needs to get this right. im i being overly optimistic?

i think we, nigerians, should chill for a moment and give this some thought. yes, some say a developed country would have had a plan b and would not have allowed such a thing to happen. well, guess what?. nigeria aint a developed country. some say that we should expect more from our country already and stop lowering our expectations. well guess what? our expectations should be pretty low, seeing as nigeria has rarely held a valid and credible election, ever! lets take things a step at a time. in the US, hundreds if not more lawsuits get filed on and after election day citing malpractices. in the US, millions of people get disenfranchised and turned away from voting when they shouldve cast their votes. this is supposed to be the most matured democracy in our time. so lets face it shit always happens. elections will never be smooth. taking an extra week to get things righted is no problem for me. in fact take a month or so. whatever you need Dr. jega!

this site is awesome for following the latest: http://elections.234next.com/

soo impressed by this site: http://www.reclaimnaija.net/

and read about it here: http://blog.ushahidi.com/index.php/2011/03/30/using-the-ushahidi-platform-to-monitor-the-nigeria-elections-2011/comment-page-1/#comment-8522

and fourthmost, i will unfortunately/fortunately be following the nigerian elections for the next month. likely more so on my twitter page, so people are more than welcome to follow me on twitter. for those that care little about politics, i apologise in advance (again) and promise to return to the regularly scheduled programme in may! :)

nigerian votes 2011: fool me once, twice...

the nigerian elections are less than 2 weeks away. and of course we've begun to see the tell tale signs that people are ready to vote and votes are ready to be counted. those signs include pre-election violence (read: a bunch of hooligans, some paid by political parties, decide to reak havoc for their own good and hide under the cloak of fighting for democracy) and lots of ridiculous promises by politicians. so i wanted to briefly explore those promises and some hopes that make nigerians so hopeful that this time, this year, change is in the air!

i was watching a not-so-great debate of the top candidates - minus the top-est candidate, mr. goodluck - the other day and just noticed how completely full of hot air these politicians were. OK thats not really earth shattering news, politicians have never been known for substance anywhere in the world. But this was just to another level. I really believe that these men believed that they can fool nigerians over and over by their empty words and we would simply grin and take it, stick our asses in the air and ask for more. one was asked what he would do about the crisis in the energy industry and what specifically he would do. he responded something to the effect of "specifically, he would look into the problem"! are we nigerians that dumb to believe this sht? or is he that dumb to think we can be easily fooled? another said he would investigate the misuses of the past administrations. while admirable, id much rather a government thats forward looking that one that obsessively looks backwards and blames everyone from military, to the british, to the sun and the moon for all that ills nigeria. another does not know the difference between military dictatorships and democracy. yet another commented that he would set up committees upon committees to get to the root of the problem. ok. committees are nice and fact finding. wait. this is nigeria we're talking about. committees are yet another excuse to party and squander tax payers money.

i was very critical of mr. goodluck jonathan's - the noted academic - failure to join in the debate, but his actions seem to speak louder than a words on a stage can. that's the other tell tale sign of nigerian elections: the legislation and presidency begin (and i stress begin) to take action. for example, the year's budget was finally passed! never mind that every expert, nonexpert, reasonably minded and nonthinker knows that there's no way in heaven, hell or earth that that budget will be implemented or is even implementable. not to mention the gross domestic deficit it calls for. in other news, the government is finally planning on rolling out a gas policy that will allow the country to take advantage of the massive potential of gas generation and export. the govt also made a big hoopla about the train project which is nearing its end and would allow people to travel effortlessly around the country (and why dont we start with moving goods and providing enabling infrastructure for the necessary and free movement of goods??). the revised oil bill, due ages ago, looks like it might pass soon. the prez has promised millions of jobs within the next couple of years. etc. etc. the president, mr. goodluck himself, however, has not explained why the external reserves which he controls have dipped ridiculously low. but hey, we can't ask for a saint can we?

needless to say i'm completely uninspired by the candidates rolled out to lead this great conundrum of a country. but rather the devil you know than the devil you don't right? i'm starting to think a goodluck presidency (a legitimate one) could be good for the country. he would inspire a lot of youth from the south-south region - a region from where no president has ever hailed, even as it is largely responsible for the vast wealth of nigeria today. perhaps he would get some backbone and stop trying to please the granddaddies of politics and focus on the people. hey, one can only hope.

now back to the reason for most people's hope. the independent national electoral commission national chairman, mr jega. hand picked by mr goodluck. the good news is that unlike his immediate and past predecessors, mr. jega is widely respected and acknowledged as an honest, well meaning, hard working man of action. and he's shown that so far. i honestly have not heard 2 bad words about this man. nigerians, election observers (already in the country), and the international community are all up on this man's jock. so he must be doing something right. at times i worry tho, that the problems are so grave and ingrained (and largely beyond his control), and the expectations so high. he cannot stop people from engaging in violent acts. he cannot stop political parties from employing thugs to vandalise and intimidate. but he has set up his organisation to represent his values. he's set up special courts for election cases to be resolved faster than normal. he's fired those within inec that are not in line with his values, he's run a successful voter registration. etc. etc. i wish this man the best. but i also caution against unreasonably high expectations for one man (see: b-obama).

ultimately, im left asking what will be considered success for nigeria's elections? ive admittedly lowered my expectations in all areas regarding my country. i dont expect much and i enjoy being pleasantly surprised when something good happens. so what are the election observers looking for to call this election good, free, or fair? will it be relative to other failed elections in nigeria? or compared against the beeming electioneering experts of our good neghbour, cote d'ivoire? will nigerians stand up and refuse to be fooled or taking as fools one more time? will we take after ken saro wiwa and wole soyinka and take to the streets? its all coming up in the days of our nigeria! this should be a good one. stay tuned!

love lost

my dad told me a story once. not sure why he told me this, but it was one of those rare times when he decided that i was grown enough now that he could speak to me as an adult and talk a bit about his past. his story was about what happened right before he decided that my mom was the one for him. there was apparently another lady that my pops had his eye on and i guess whom he had been hangin out with (or whatever they did back in the day!). So right before he decided my mom was "the one", he had to settle his feelings about this lady. so he went to her to tell her how he felt and see how she felt about spending the rest of his life with him. according to him, he was quite unsure about this move and about his relationship with this lady in general, as his friends were also not sold that the lady was the right one. so he got to this lady's place and they had a nice little chat during which she told him that she was also seeing someone else and the guy had asked her to marry him and she had accepted.

my dad often stops there? im then left wondering how he felt with that shocker from the lady. was he heart broken? as a christian man, did he feel that it simply wasnt meant to be and that God would provide the right "one" at his time? did he try to convince her to take him instead? did he walk away with his pride? head held high? did he regret being too late?

so i asked him some of these questions recently and his response was that he was ok with her response. he wasn't sure if she was the right one anyway, and her response just sealed the fact that she wasn't. so he was just happy with the closure. hmm... i guess hindsight is always 20-20. i wonder if he wouldve responded the same way 33 years ago coming back from the lady's house after being utterly rejected. a man's pride is a well-guarded and treasured artifact.

why did i think of this story from my dad? and why now? well, i was talking to a friend a week or so ago and he told me a story that sounded so similar and as he got more emotional about his encounter with this girl, i remembered this story from my dad and subsequently gave up on trying to find an answer to his questions. after giving it some more thought tho, i actually think the questions that such encounters pose are far more worthwhile exploring and allowing to simmer in the deep centres of our minds than simply an answer that may not embrace the intricacies of the situation. my friend was going through what a lot of men have probably gone through. here he was, just after having poured his heart out to a girl he was crazy about and being utterly rejected. how does he deal with that? i'd heard him speak about this girl so many times and he must have been closer to in love with this girl than he's been with any girl he'd spoken about in the past. the problem was that this girl, although a friend, apparently knew nothing of his love and was busy carrying on with her life. he had somehow convinced himself that she felt the same way and that additionally brought him to an edge of self-despair, regret, and hurt. i'd seen this guy through a lot in the short time i'd known him, but never had i seen him in such a state. the power and hold that women can and often do hold on us guys is real and immense!

as this guy wept and i brewed over our conversation, i began to ask myself some of those same questions that he was wondering as well. when do you know when the one is the one? how can you keep from regretting decisions made in the past? when do you hold on and how do you know when to let go? how far do you go to convince the "one" that she belongs to you and you to her? after all that convincing, assuming you win in the contest, will there be more pressure to perform? how much/far do you chase? do you just do as my dad and brush it off as something not meant to be, or do you try relentlessly? maybe God knows better than us and she's not as perfect for you as you once thought? for how long does this feeling of hopelessness, despair and loss last? how do you guard from having that love become a lost love?

was this normal for my friend to go through? i thought so. but it was painful for him. i think it still is painful. but we all grow from each experience we face. and my word of the wise (tho he probably didnt want to hear it) was that "the one" is the one we decide/choose is the one. therefore there would be many more opportunities to meet another "the one". (if anyone has better and wiser words, pls let me know!). i hope i'm right! i could feel the hurt in him.

on a completely unrelated note, i'm currently listening to a tiiii-te tune that is definitely worth checking out! i've had it on repeat now for a couple hrs!

~The Garden~

the english, american, and nigerian

so you've heard the one about the english guy, american, and nigerian at the bar, right? what is that? you haven't? well allow me to tell you. there was a english guy, an american and a nigerian sitting having a beer at a bar in london on election night. the english lad turns to the other two and says, "mates, you're really watching true democracy in action. our system is so good, that we're having the elections now and in just a couple days, we will know who the winners are, barring run-offs." the american just smiled and said, "man, y'all have some stuff to learn. we hold our elections in america and that same night, we know who the president is!" meanwhile, the nigerian bloke is just having the time of his life, laughing at these two okes. takes a break from his laughter and says, "guys, our system in nigerian beats all others. even though we are having elections today, we've already decided on the winner months ago!"

I read this recently: "Nigerians are incurable optimists and believe the ballot is the way to effect change. This will clearly not go on forever. As it is said, if you fool a person once you are a fool, but if you fool that person twice then for sure that person is a fool. I don’t think the Nigerian youth is a fool."

nigerian elections are coming up in a little over a month, on 9th april. so i'll be writing about that quite a bit from now. but of course i'll try to write about other things as well. and i promise, to those that are not into politics and government, i will write very shortly about something much more personal. watch this space...

for now, back to nigerian elections. Everywhere you go, you're bound to run into nigerians. and everytime i to talk to nigerians about the upcoming elections, they are always so optimistic. there's a reason nigerians have won the prize for most optimistic people 3 years running. anyway, im one nigerian who's doing his best to hold back any measure of optimism. don't get me wrong, i would love nothing else than to be optimistic, but a wise prof once told me "a cynic is simply someone who used to be an optimist and has just been knocked down too many times." ive been disappointed in nigeria too many times, ive ached for nigerian too many times, ive rejoiced in nigeria too many times and then watched it take 14 steps back after 1/2 a step forward, ive sobbed for nigeria too many times. i also deeply respect my friends who remain optimists and hope that i can one day regain that same sense.

This nigerian election is different only for one reason. There is no clear frontrunner. Yes, the sitting president will likely win, because thats how they roll, but he's not a given, as the aforementioned joke alludes. Mr. goodluck, if he wins this election, will finally be able to claim that for the first time in his life, he's actually won an election (although he's been deputy governor, governor, vice president, then president). he will also accomplish another first in being the first president from the so-called "south-south" - the oil rich part of the country. the part of the country that makes the nation one of the richest in the continent, but a region which remains one of the poorest in the world. His major competition, a man i truly respect, is mr. ribadu, former and exiled chairman of the anti-corruption body under the former president OBJ. This man has vision, and he's young and vibrant and a hope-monger. im a sucker for hope-mongers! i very much doubt he'll win tho as he belongs to a much smaller party than the ruling party, but i like the hope he's instilling in young nigerians. the other competitor is mr buhari, who is past his prime and his time, but whom many nigerians respect for good reason.

I don't really have a fovourite for the election, but what im hoping is that more than any other election in the history of this young nation, the electorate wakes up and begins to demand action and progress. i doubt anything like egypt or tunisia will happen in nigeria, for good reason (tho i wouldnt be completely opposed to it), but instead, what nigeria needs are politicians that begin to debate policy, issues, and outcomes. tell me what youve done or what you plan to do and exactly how you will do it and you get my vote. the current lagos governor for example was accused by the opposition of corruption and while people knew he had shady dealings, no one gave a flying saucer, because what he's been doing for the last several years in lagos has had real and positive effects on the lives of ordinary lagosians. signs of progress are visible and continuous. is it not time we began to demand such from all our politicians? starting with our president? how many times must we listen to empty promises of reform in energy? or end to blackouts? no one even talks jobs or employment anymore, while the related issues of crime and gangsterism are increasingly on the rise. what about progressive issues of renewable energy that the economy is well positioned to take advantage of? what about health care and mortality rates? tourism? or an economy that encourages and harbours small and medium sized start-ups instead of frustrating them? "Nigeria's election commission has already deployed 240,000 people-more than all armies of west africa's 16 countries put together-and 132,000 data capture machines, which if lined up edge-to-edge, would cover over 80km." surely, change is in the air, no?

a friend of mine set up a day of prayer for nigeria and the elections tomorrow on facebook. i admire that. but firmly believe that faith without action is DEAD. nigerians should stop being a "hopefully" country, praying and longing for that one day when things may get better. and begin making changes now! im not talking of revolutions and uprisings. im talking of rejecting corruption as a way of life. being whistle blowers, starting impact business defying the difficulties that come with it, empowering children and youth, eduating. nigerians are smart and resiliant and we believe we're a special breed. we are. and if others can make change happen - the kind of change that impacts the ordinary citizen and brings about meaningful development - nigerians certainly can as well. in fact we should be leading the pack.

post-post: i think i write a fair bit about nigeria in this space. but im quite disappointed that i dont have the kind of following from nigeria that would be expected. so thats my goal now! interestingly, i have a sizeable following from the Ukraine! I know approximately no one in or from the Ukraine, but somehow, last week, the highest traffic i got was from the Ukraine. This week, Japan is threatening their position. go figure! anyway, nigeria is now on my watch list.

post-post #2: what leaders that remain in power despite election laws, or african leaders who refuse to recognise the power of democratically casted votes (looking at u zuma, goodluck, dos santos, etc), are saying is that they, as a sole individual, are more enlightened than the masses. while at times the masses may get things wrong, i reject that notion as firmly against the institution of democracy, the same institution that they purport to be champion. i also reject the notion that they are smarter than me. ur not.

100th post!

i'm so proud that on my 100th blog post i get to talk about a couple things that i'm so passionate about! politics and baseball! i actually hesitate to call it "politics" (tho i do enjoy my fair share of political bullshit discussions). but this is more than mere politics. what i want to talk about is about freedoms. its about people. and their voices. its about a revolution!

a while ago i read an op-ed piece where an egyptian was quoted after the tunisian people toppled the sitting government as saying that "today, we are all tunisians". the feeling of unbelief, then exuberance that filled me after what happened in tunisia remains undescribable. likewise, and even more so, i find it hard to put into words how i felt on saturday when i could proudly say, "today, we are all egyptians". i dunno why, but i felt such a pull towards the egyptian people. ...the resiliance...the passion...the cries...the tears...the shed lives...the strength. ive learned to value people of different persuasions to me in many areas of my life, but i find it really hard to understand people who are not emotionally charged by what is happening in the middle east. as a brotherhood (and sisterhood!) of human beings, we owe the people of egypt and tunisia (now yemen, iran, and others) nothing less than to take pride (and part, if we can) in what is happening. the process. the transformation. the revolution.

in high school, as the student body president, my advisor and civics teacher, ms. meyer, used to urge us student leaders to find something that we're passionate about (like free lunches or updated textbooks, or new facilities...yea, life was really difficult back then!) and fight for it. jokingly, she said she really wanted to see students stage a mass walk-out. i remember ms. meyer saying some pretty crazy and out-there things, but the lady had a good point. i don't think i've ever cared about something or someone so deeply that i was willing to risk my life for it. this is not about politics. this is about people. wanting to be free. wanting to hold people accountable to their words. this is government for the people, by the people. i truly hope that the succeeding weeks and months reaffirm, rather than squash that. even more, i hope that the lesson here for others is to find something that we are sincerely passionate about that we are not afraid to put our voices to and risk our lives for. thats deep.

tahrir means liberation.

watching the crowds demand their liberation, demand that their voices be heard, assert that they will no longer live in fear, but that their voices and actions matter and count for something, i was moved. these voices had been quieted for so many decades under the bane of fear, unworthiness, guilt, shame, religion, and hopelessness. these voices had had enough. for more than 2 weeks, these voices proclaimed that they would no longer be kept silent. one protester at tahrir square who came with his wife and young daughter reflected,

"We got a message from Tunis. And the message was: Don't burn yourself up, burn up the fear that is inside you. That is what happened here. This was a society in fear and the fear has been burned. When we meet God, we will at least be able to say: We tried to do something" [more]

That was before president mubarak stepped down. rather, was driven down. the egyptians more than "tried to do something". the protesters, the volunteers who came daily to ensure peace was held and the sick were tended to and the grounds were clean and the looters were kept at bay, they all were part of a great revolution of our time. a revolution seeking democracy and development, freedom and unity, and seeking this not through foreign armies and crooked deals, not through guns and wars, but rather through that very natural gift of their voices. united. one can only hope that the ripples that have been started in the arab world, emboldens other communities and brings them together in one call - the call for credible and democratic leadership which is for the people, by the people.

i could say so much more about this, but i'm already getting too emotional. thanks to al jazeera which has kept me glued to news and analysis from a different perspective all along. its interesting to read journalists and other commentators debate whether "an egypt" or "a tunisia" can happen in their country. to those that doubt that it can, i say, shit on your people long enough and soon enough they'll start realising that the droplets they feel on their heads is in fact that - shit. i think most people don't appreciate being shat on for an extended period of time. maybe that's just me.

moving on...baseball.

this has nothing to do with the post above, but its gotta have a mention. pitchers and catchers have reported to spring training / camp (mostly in florida). most other players will report by the end of the week. and the baseball season (seemingly never ending) is upon us once again. for my south african buddies who i have yet to convince of the genius of baseball, let me say again that this sport (as dull as it may look to the layman) is truly one of the greats. come chat to me. in the mean time, heres to my favourite team, the cardinals, signing one of my favourite playes, poo-joles (pujols), to another great season, and a world series (yes, we are the best in the world so much so that we dont need to play other countries to tell us this) ring for the cards.

how much does your boss make?

Last weekend, i spent some time with 2 very distinct and pretty different groups of people. thinking about that night, i noticed such a stark contrast not only in terms of the conversations that we had, but more so in my response to the conversations and my feelings during and after the encounters.

set 1, i like to call the new young crew. here were young'uns who seemingly wanted to make a difference, but wer also obviously skeptical. they were quite an eclectic mix, including those that worked for ngos, private companies with social focuses (or is it foci), those passionate about building up african leaders and entreprenuers, etc. talking to these guys and gals really re-juvenated me and i could feel a bit of my youthful hope come back again. only a bit tho...

pan over to group 2. later the same day, i spent the rest of the night with the group known simply as dear friends. these guys i've known for a few years now and some i feel like i've known for most of my life. some of them can still remember wild dreams of making a difference, but had since been hit by reality bugs. much of our dialogue revolved around money and more money and cars and houses and more bling. it was about how much you made and how much your boss makes and what you need to do in order to get to where you matter (of course, "matter" purely defined by your salary and bonuses). i hope my sheer excitement (and sarcasm, hopefully) shines through my words.

frankly, i dont think those kinds of convos have ever interested me. but im not gonna lie, i like having money and certainly believe that it's necessary. but to make a whole night of discussion out of money (or at least most of it) got quite a bit depressing as well. are we really so defined by how much we make and what we can do to earn more? why the obsession with earning more or looking to emulate those that do? are we defined by our economic class? does our social status depend on it? admittedly, the answer to some of these questions is "yes", whether i choose to accept it or not. but does it have to remain like that?

now im being a bit too harsh on group #2; afterall i did enjoy talking to them. both groups in fact had something in common. i think ultimately, we all want to make a name for ourselves and want to make a difference, either in the lives of our families, those immediately around us, or in our community, locale, country, world. how we do that, i guess, is where the 2 groups might differ (tho not necesarily so).

i would like to think that i enjoy discussing ways of impacting the world around me, practically, than how i'm gonna get rich. i think i would rather make others around me wealthy and well off (the right way, of course) than exploit from them for my own good. don't get me wrong tho, i also need to live comfortably and need a career that caters to my home, vehicle, and vacationing desires. but am i really that old fashioned or naive to think that i can find or make a career that does not see as mutually exclusive the 2 goals of helping people and making money at the same time? (that might look and feel like a question, but i have a pretty good answer to it!) am i crazy to enjoy discussions about what i did to make that money that im making, regardless of what it is, than simply talking about the money.

i think i lot of people misread me and my mba (thats right, the degree that keeps me warm at night!). a lot of my post-mba discussions now for some reason start and end with exclamations of how this degree should just launch me salary-wise and how i need to start looking to buy and enjoy certain pleasures in life now that i hold the almighty capitalist degree. while i definitely expect to earn more money because of the mba, i dont think its a license to start having discussions about money for money sake. hmm, for some reason, that just doesnt seem very interesting to me. maybe im a bit odd?

side note: comedian steve harvey writes, in his book, that men are driven by "who they are, what they do and how much they make". until they accomplish these things, they are unlikely to feel they've fulfilled their destiny as men. dunno what i think about that, but it reminds me of one word. and that word is: bullshit!

so what did i take away from this night with the 2 sets of people? not sure, but it looks like i dont like to have lengthy conversations thats purely revolve around money and how much i need to be making (or gloating over what one celebrity did with their money and how i need to do the same...). i'd much rather discuss what i do. what i really do (which may or may not be my current job). what im passionate about. what gets me up in the morning. what keeps me going like an energiser bunny. what im so enthralled about that i could do for the rest of my life. what stirs my passion and livelihood so much that i would give my life for. the only problem is i haven't really found that thing. until then, i think i will keep looking for convos that are interesting, continue challenging my ultra-idealistic friends (like group 1) and their funny ideas, while challenging the group 2-ers to find something way more interesting than bonuses and cars to talk about (i mean, com'on!). or maybe i should just let loose and party!

post-post: happy superbowl sunday!

a wild adventure

“Deep in man’s heart are some fundamental questions that simply cannot be answered at the kitchen table. Who am I? What am I made of? What am I destined for? It is fear that keeps a man at home where things are neat and orderly and under his control. But the answers to his deepest questions are not to be found on television or in the refrigerator...Don’t climb on that, don’t break anything, don’t be so aggressive, don’t be so noisy, don’t be so messy, don’t make such crazy risks. But God’s design – which he placed in boys as the picture of himself – is a resounding yes. Be fierce, be wild, be passionate.”

Those are the words of john eldredge writing in the book: "wild at heart". I remember reading this book a while ago and really hating the stereotypical characterisations of "a man". I didn't really buy what he was saying, then. But the more i think about it and the more i pass through life, i realise how true some of his words are.

With that in mind, I went on a wild adventure a few days before I started work last week. I envisioned sitting by some water (even if i dont swim in it!), chillaxing, reading a book or newspaper, pondering the meaning of life, and trying to psyche myself into being positive about work. well, i didn't exactly get that; instead i got this:

now you may be saying, but folu, that looks very relaxing, chilling on a boat in the water. well i was in the water, sailing for 3 days, but i definitely was not relaxing. that look that you can't really decipher on my face is the "i-am-so-shit-scared-i-could-poop-my-pants" look. oh, and what you also cannot see is that the boat was at that time angled at 70degrees to the water (of course 90degrees and we would be swallowing water). my mentor and friend, nick (whose boat this was) thought it would be a good idea for me to steer the boat. so i did most of the steering while nick relaxed under the hood! thats some faith! this is nick:

i wasn't always scared shitless tho. i did enjoy most of the time. my inability to swim notwithstanding, i steered like a pro and learned all sorts of sailing terms and commands like "trim your sails" and "release the jib" and set the sails to the steering" and "sailing too close to the wind", etc. we ended up sailing to different spots along the river and camping or sleeping on the boat wherever we stopped. i even jumped in the water to swim. we talked about nothing and everything and even got super adventurous once and decided to follow our ears to find a waterfall (no path or map involved). about an hour later we arrived here!

[i debated posting this pic, but i went ahead anyway, because im positive none of y'all will make any silly remarks about how i need to lose weight. badly. which i already know!]

at the end of the trip, tho, i can say that it was truly relaxing, while at the same time not so relaxing. i was tense a lot, especially when in rough waters, but i felt so relaxed sitting/lying there, reading, talking to nick about very real and deep topics, unloading and being unloaded upon, sipping coffee non-stop, watching stars and sunsets, enjoying fish as they flip-flopped in and out of the water, listening to the non-stop crying of crickets and the dog-like barking of baboons, being seduces by the sound of crashing waves and flowing waterfalls. i found new definitions of beauty.

anyway, i sincerely recommend a trip like this to anyone, especially guys. it actually made me so ready to conquer anything, especially work. it also left my skin peeling everywhere, cuz i was so sure black people like me don't sunburnt (i was wrong, again!). guys, we need to find the adventure in us and even though i dunno if/when i'll do something like this again, i was awakened to the love of the outdoors that i've had (but which i'd surpressed) since i was a child. I can't wait for my next adventure. in the meantime, few more pics.

top-10 things on my mind for 2011

so we're now 8 days into the new year; hope everyone's 2011 is going just as planned - exciting, adventurous, refreshing, etc... mine is going amazingly as i'm still on holiday and i doing what i like, getting back in touch with old mates (many of whom i'd neglected for a year), reading, writing, watching movies, and looking forward to 2 road trips before i start the rigours of work again. why can't i find someone to pay me for this all year??

this post may seem a bit disjointed, but i have a lot going on in my head and i'm using this as my medium (just ur luck!). so to hark back to my old ways a bit, herewith your first top-10 list for 2011. really its more like top-10 things of whats currently on my mind (and in absolutely random order).

10: new years resolutions. the never ending question/ easy icebreaker for the first week of the year. so, how many do you have? or more importantly, how many have you already broken? or, theoretically, do you believe in new years resolutions? i don't really know why this has become a belief over the years; new-agey people are quite famous for the response: "i don't make new years resolutions", or rather, "i don't believe in such things". whether u believe it or not, tough. most people make plans, so whether u do it for a day, week, month, year, etc, chances are you're planning on doing something(s) this year. that, my friend, is a new year's resolution, ka-pish? so i do believe in new years resolutions. so how many have i broken? none!...mainly because in my mind the new years resolution calendar for me hasnt started. still in holiday mode, remember?!

9. new years resolutions(2). mine. i've got quite a few of them actually. i wont mention all of them, but i plan on being more active/sporty. this includes soccer, tennis, squash, cycling, and the occasional gym-ing. i also plan on blogging more regularly (you should expect to see a blog every week...thinking fridays or saturdays or sundays...which means you should be checking this space more often, putting it in your favourites, putting it in your blog feed, etc...). i also plan on resuming my fetish with road trips! the more the merrier. and other resolutions i'll make up as i go along. if you don't have any resolutions, i suggest you check out this list of top 41 places to go in 2011...its inspirational!

http://travel.nytimes.com/2011/01/09/travel/09where-to-go.html?pagewanted=1&nl=todaysheadlines&emc=tha210

8. last years resolutions. i took a look at what my resolutions were in 2010 for shits and giggles, and noticed that i barely got a 50% mark. for those too far removed from school, this means that i barely completed half of what i resolved to do at the beginning of the year. my resolutions included getting my mba (check), enjoying the world cup to the fullest (ok check), being a "man of my words" (ok check), being more disciplined (fail), and doing more outdoors (fail...mostly...tho i did some ultimate frisbee (once) and touch rugby (a few times)). not a whopping success, but im cool with that. just have more to add to my 2011 resolutions.

what a year of african football! i was there!

7. joburg. im finally back to the city of gold, the promised land, the land of flowing honey and butter and malls... so, riddle. how do you know you've arrived in joburg? when u need to go to a mall to do everything that needs to be done (banking, eating, mailing, hair cutting, chilaxing...). you know you've arrived when it rains and all of a sudden you see potholes like never before. you've arrived in joburg when every possible window or door or opening in a house or apt is preceeded by burglar bars. finally, you really know you're in joburg when people show off their beautiful lavish homes with 12 meter tall fences topped by broken glass, topped by electric wiring and fencing, with a private guard and 2 dogs trained to tear human flesh at first sight. then if you manage to step inside the gate, you find yet another set of walls and electric fences and private security system to protect each room of the house. to be fair, on the flip side, you've got some of the friendliest people, the warmest friends, the best places to chill and just hang out. i really love this city!

6. cape town. despite my groanings about this city, i truly believe, in terms of sights and sounds, it is among the 10 or 5 most beautiful places in the world (at least that ive seen). mountains on one side, oceans on the other, driving at sunset, walking on the beach, waking up to see the sunrise on top of a mountain, there's few places better than this. and almost everywhere you go presents a kodak moment.

5. US. i had a very nice christmas here in sa. but i really wanted a white christmas; its been too long since ive seen snow. of course its not all its cracked up to be, but even if you've lived in snow all your life, the sight of fresh snow on the ground (before the snow trucks and the sand and salt) is still an awesome one. like this:

4. sudan. tomorrow, southern sudanese go to the polls to decide on their future. i'm really intrigued by this and i think it will be the beginning of relative peace and progress for the country and the region. it wont be all smoothe and the election probably will have some irreglarities, but i hope and pray that all in all, things go well and southern sudan can soon begin to celebrate its independence and learn to govern themselves in revolutionary and innovative ways and teach africa a thing or two. a lot to ask for, but i've been criticised for being too big of a cynic so heres to trying to regain a bit of my youthful hope-filled days.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-12070034

worth reading. edu-ma-cate urselves.

3. cote d'ivoire. 2 concurrent governments? one being run out of a hotel? head-of-government-turned-tyrant? flawed elections? ignorance of people's will? stubbornness to leave office? failed legacy? return to turmoil? yet another set back? does africa ever learn? more importantly do the dim-witted people that govern many african nations ever learn from the past (note i refuse to call these guys and lads leaders)? what happened to the will of the people? what happened to a government for the people? helping those that cannot help themselves? leading progress and innovation, championing democracy, transparency, and good governance? isnt it past due time for some semblance of credible civil society to rise up?!

2. nigeria. never a dull moment. elections set for april with goodluck, maybe, as the leading candidate?? i'm in no mood for puns, but what a great name, mr. goodluck! in all seriousness plenty is riding on this election. nigeria could have a relatively free and fair election and choose a leader from a region that has never produced a president and that has been largely marginalised even though it provides most of the revenue for the country. or it could go the route of the past and have a shambled election filled with more violence and vote rigging and greed than ever before. obviously there's a lot of grey in between. hoping for the best.

1. look all around; theres nothing, but...newness. more than 3 years into my ubuntu adventures, and im finally sick of my blog template. so it's changed! hope you like it. if you don't lemme know and i may or may not listen to your suggestions. there will be more minor changes to come and i may or may not note them as they come. also important, i'm embarking on a project which may produce other new things this year. more to come on that. be sure to *watch this space*!

Happy YOMU!

As i write this, i'm sitting at the airport, awaiting what seems too much like the closure of a concluding chapter in this breath-taking city. A closure - it seems or perhaps i hope - to the most challenging year of my life, personally and professionally, to one of the most difficult, distressing and stressful years thus far, and yet, also to my best and most rewarding year so far (they only keep getting better).

So what happened this year to give it such vivid characterisations and what could i possibly be looking forward to next year? the answers to those questions are not as easy as making a wishlist of resolutions and/or annoyances during the year. the last couple of weeks have allowed me the opportunity to reflect on the "year of african football" (YAF) and what i actually gained from it. granted i didn't exactly take every opportunity to reflect during this period, i had to have some fun and relish the ability to step outside of the business school to finally explore the city as well. which i did. the little reflection that i did has led me to some interesting realisations and conclusions - most importantly of which is the need to do more reflection before i get enthralled and enGROSSed in work life (note the added emPHAsis!).

I battled a bit with how to organise this post. was gonna do something like a laundry list of "the goods, bads, and uglies" cuz of course i like lists, but decided against just that. i'm still doing a list of goods bads and uglies, but what i realised is that most things that happened during the year, not unlike any other event, ultimately has good, bad, and ugly sides. so here goes: reflections on the year of the mba.

mba. i'll start with the most obvious.

• the good: i got an mba. and in one year. and wrote a thesis that i enjoyed and am actually proud of. i met lots of fascinating people, made lots of connections, and embarked on a handful of what will hopefully be lifelong and diverse friendships. and a few very deep ones too. i'm not gonna mention any names, but i think/hope you know who you are and you know that i truly treasure our relationship and the times we're shared and desperately look forward to much more. not sure if that's what i expected when i started this year, but that's what i got and it's good.
• the bad: a bit of a transition year for the school which led to some failures from and disappointments with the staff and faculty. nothing major here.
• the ugly: hmm, reaching here...the year did go super fast and hardly had time to breathe. some of the lecturers were ugly too :P

cape town.

• the good: the city is seriously one of the most beautiful cities I've seen in the world. and i think i've been to some pretty beautiful cities. sunshine, beach, water, mountains, hikes, swimming (rather dipping my legs in the water!), long drives, nature...i learned the true definition of the term "chill-axing"!
• the bad: i was stuck at school most of the time and didn't really get a chance to explore all aspects of the city. but there's always next year...and the year after!
• the ugly: as beautiful as the city is, a quick drive to the other side of the mountain shows how depressingly poor it is and the all too vivid divide between the haves and the have-nots. likewise, unfortunately, a quick drive or walk down the street also reminds you of how backward and often racist the city can be as well. those experiences are well documented and i'll leave it at that.

friends (those i had before the YAF).

• the good: i couldn't ask for more understanding friends as i have. i told them when i was leaving joburg at the end of last year that i would be pretty MIA for the year. i don't think they believed me. but they quickly learned that i wasnt joking. and ultimately had no hard feelings (well none that i'm aware of anyway). don't worry people, 2011 will be the year of making up (YOMU!..i think; got a good ring to it)
• the bad: - see below -
• the ugly: too many losses. 2 of my friends passed away unexpectedly this year. One, Dr. LeVine was my mentor from university and the other one, David, a dear friend - one of the very first people i met - in joburg. Dr. LeVine lived a long and well acomplished life and taught me a whole lot. David lived for 27 years, the final 3 battling severe cancer, but made no less of an impact on me. I thought Dr. LeVine's death hit me pretty hard until I found out about David and someone discovered tears and wails and sorrow to a degree i had never experienced within me. attending david's funeral was also difficult. the open casket, ugly. the parents and siblings almost fainting and weeping incessantly, ugly. the mom, constantly begging where they've taken her son and pleading for some miracle, perhaps for him to come back, fully healed (?), ugly. death is ugly. but it doesn't have to remain that way and certainly does not have to be a finality or a conclusion. for David, i'm sure it represented a much needed, even prayed-for, relief and ending to the immense pain and suffering he was going through. For his family and friends, we're left with fond memories and regrets, what ifs and could've beens, and, most importantly, lessons learnt from David's life. in short david lived (and infested others he was close to) with a deep sense of simplicity, a keen love and care for others, and for God. his short 27 years were not a waste. he used them to the fullest. and in the process managed to leave a lasting legacy on those he came in contact with.

family.

• the good: my family's always good. kind of! always supportive, helpful, faithful, and certainly never dull!
• the bad: - see below -
• the ugly: phew, I could spend the next couple posts on this. heh, just joking mom and dad. anyway, in all seriousness there are major things going on in my family that i will not post here, but that have drained my energy, tested my faith, and at times tested my patience and sanity. i feel that more than ever things are piling up and i dont see a clear solution of end in sight. for someone that seeks clarity out of complex and relishes control, this is not good. this year, i believe, was the most trying year in my family since i've known them as family. so if you're a praying person, pray along with me. don't ask what you must pray for because frankly i don't even know. if you're not such a person, try it!

2010. Ke Na Ko!

• the good: one of the reasons, if not the reason, that i came to south africa was for the world cup. it came. it was amazing to see some matches and the spirit (gees) brought by all sorts of fans descending on this country, this continent, many for the very first time. I WAS THERE!
• the bad: umm...take a look at me grades for that month. yikes...
• the ugly: what are we gonna do with the stadiums and costs??

i'm sure there's lots more i could write about, but i think this post (which i started with the clear intention of keeping short and concise) has gone on for long enough. so 2010 was a trying and challenging year in ways that supercede the mba or the classroom or the seminar room. in fact, the mba at times became my refuge - the least of my problems and a place to hide and get away from the real problems in life. but in all my experiences i learned to appreciate life (mine and others), to care more for others and be more keenly involved in the lives of those around me, i learned to keep asking questions and keep seeking answers, to trust and hope, to deal with failure and mistakes and learn and move on, i learned to battle and fight in my search. and im not done learning (still at least 12 hours to go!).

2011. YOMU?!

In the end, i don't think this moment is a concluding chapter; rather part of the opening credits. I look forward to what 2011 has in store and so many more adventures, of the ubuntu-nature or otherwise, to come. i look forward to taking the lessons of 2010 and applying them to the year of making up (YOMU? I'll keep working on that one).

In Kiritimati, it's already 2011, so happy new years guys. To the rest of the world, enjoy your eve and may the new year bring lots of blessings, happiness, fond memories, and of course lasting adventures and unshakable bonds.