Friday, December 31, 2010

Happy YOMU!

As i write this, i'm sitting at the airport, awaiting what seems too much like the closure of a concluding chapter in this breath-taking city. A closure - it seems or perhaps i hope - to the most challenging year of my life, personally and professionally, to one of the most difficult, distressing and stressful years thus far, and yet, also to my best and most rewarding year so far (they only keep getting better).

So what happened this year to give it such vivid characterisations and what could i possibly be looking forward to next year? the answers to those questions are not as easy as making a wishlist of resolutions and/or annoyances during the year. the last couple of weeks have allowed me the opportunity to reflect on the "year of african football" (YAF) and what i actually gained from it. granted i didn't exactly take every opportunity to reflect during this period, i had to have some fun and relish the ability to step outside of the business school to finally explore the city as well. which i did. the little reflection that i did has led me to some interesting realisations and conclusions - most importantly of which is the need to do more reflection before i get enthralled and enGROSSed in work life (note the added emPHAsis!).

I battled a bit with how to organise this post. was gonna do something like a laundry list of "the goods, bads, and uglies" cuz of course i like lists, but decided against just that. i'm still doing a list of goods bads and uglies, but what i realised is that most things that happened during the year, not unlike any other event, ultimately has good, bad, and ugly sides. so here goes: reflections on the year of the mba.

mba. i'll start with the most obvious.
  • the good: i got an mba. and in one year. and wrote a thesis that i enjoyed and am actually proud of. i met lots of fascinating people, made lots of connections, and embarked on a handful of what will hopefully be lifelong and diverse friendships. and a few very deep ones too. i'm not gonna mention any names, but i think/hope you know who you are and you know that i truly treasure our relationship and the times we're shared and desperately look forward to much more. not sure if that's what i expected when i started this year, but that's what i got and it's good.
  • the bad: a bit of a transition year for the school which led to some failures from and disappointments with the staff and faculty. nothing major here.
  • the ugly: hmm, reaching here...the year did go super fast and hardly had time to breathe. some of the lecturers were ugly too :P

cape town.
  • the good: the city is seriously one of the most beautiful cities I've seen in the world. and i think i've been to some pretty beautiful cities. sunshine, beach, water, mountains, hikes, swimming (rather dipping my legs in the water!), long drives, nature...i learned the true definition of the term "chill-axing"!
  • the bad: i was stuck at school most of the time and didn't really get a chance to explore all aspects of the city. but there's always next year...and the year after!
  • the ugly: as beautiful as the city is, a quick drive to the other side of the mountain shows how depressingly poor it is and the all too vivid divide between the haves and the have-nots. likewise, unfortunately, a quick drive or walk down the street also reminds you of how backward and often racist the city can be as well. those experiences are well documented and i'll leave it at that.

friends (those i had before the YAF).
  • the good: i couldn't ask for more understanding friends as i have. i told them when i was leaving joburg at the end of last year that i would be pretty MIA for the year. i don't think they believed me. but they quickly learned that i wasnt joking. and ultimately had no hard feelings (well none that i'm aware of anyway). don't worry people, 2011 will be the year of making up (YOMU!..i think; got a good ring to it)
  • the bad: - see below -
  • the ugly: too many losses. 2 of my friends passed away unexpectedly this year. One, Dr. LeVine was my mentor from university and the other one, David, a dear friend - one of the very first people i met - in joburg. Dr. LeVine lived a long and well acomplished life and taught me a whole lot. David lived for 27 years, the final 3 battling severe cancer, but made no less of an impact on me. I thought Dr. LeVine's death hit me pretty hard until I found out about David and someone discovered tears and wails and sorrow to a degree i had never experienced within me. attending david's funeral was also difficult. the open casket, ugly. the parents and siblings almost fainting and weeping incessantly, ugly. the mom, constantly begging where they've taken her son and pleading for some miracle, perhaps for him to come back, fully healed (?), ugly. death is ugly. but it doesn't have to remain that way and certainly does not have to be a finality or a conclusion. for David, i'm sure it represented a much needed, even prayed-for, relief and ending to the immense pain and suffering he was going through. For his family and friends, we're left with fond memories and regrets, what ifs and could've beens, and, most importantly, lessons learnt from David's life. in short david lived (and infested others he was close to) with a deep sense of simplicity, a keen love and care for others, and for God. his short 27 years were not a waste. he used them to the fullest. and in the process managed to leave a lasting legacy on those he came in contact with.

family.
  • the good: my family's always good. kind of! always supportive, helpful, faithful, and certainly never dull!
  • the bad: - see below -
  • the ugly: phew, I could spend the next couple posts on this. heh, just joking mom and dad. anyway, in all seriousness there are major things going on in my family that i will not post here, but that have drained my energy, tested my faith, and at times tested my patience and sanity. i feel that more than ever things are piling up and i dont see a clear solution of end in sight. for someone that seeks clarity out of complex and relishes control, this is not good. this year, i believe, was the most trying year in my family since i've known them as family. so if you're a praying person, pray along with me. don't ask what you must pray for because frankly i don't even know. if you're not such a person, try it!

2010. Ke Na Ko!
  • the good: one of the reasons, if not the reason, that i came to south africa was for the world cup. it came. it was amazing to see some matches and the spirit (gees) brought by all sorts of fans descending on this country, this continent, many for the very first time. I WAS THERE!
  • the bad: umm...take a look at me grades for that month. yikes...
  • the ugly: what are we gonna do with the stadiums and costs??

i'm sure there's lots more i could write about, but i think this post (which i started with the clear intention of keeping short and concise) has gone on for long enough. so 2010 was a trying and challenging year in ways that supercede the mba or the classroom or the seminar room. in fact, the mba at times became my refuge - the least of my problems and a place to hide and get away from the real problems in life. but in all my experiences i learned to appreciate life (mine and others), to care more for others and be more keenly involved in the lives of those around me, i learned to keep asking questions and keep seeking answers, to trust and hope, to deal with failure and mistakes and learn and move on, i learned to battle and fight in my search. and im not done learning (still at least 12 hours to go!).

2011. YOMU?!
In the end, i don't think this moment is a concluding chapter; rather part of the opening credits. I look forward to what 2011 has in store and so many more adventures, of the ubuntu-nature or otherwise, to come. i look forward to taking the lessons of 2010 and applying them to the year of making up (YOMU? I'll keep working on that one).

In Kiritimati, it's already 2011, so happy new years guys. To the rest of the world, enjoy your eve and may the new year bring lots of blessings, happiness, fond memories, and of course lasting adventures and unshakable bonds.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

feliz navidad

it's christmas morning and i have three wishes:
1. a tree
2. snow
3. be with family

unfortunately, none of those 3 wishes are gonna come true today, but i will definitely be spending the day with some amazing friends who have become my family here and...well...i have pictures!


in about a week or so, i'll be posting some thoughts on the year, but as I start reminiscing on the year and what i have to be thankful for, i realise that the year has really been a mix of emotions, as many of you know. this year ending is more bittersweet in more ways than any that i've been through. i had many ups (doing my mba, meeting some great people, etc) and many downs (mourning deaths, illnesses, intense drama which shall remain name-less, etc) and many many in-betweens/flat periods. more details to come...

for now, i just want to wish a very merry christmas to everyone out there, especially those that believe in it, and for others an incredible holiday season. christian or not, there's no better time to reflect on what's happened the last year and thank God (or your lucky stars, or the intelligent creator, etc) for whats been good or for lessons you've learned from whats been bad. its as good a time as ever to start looking to the future and expecting even better things to come. its a great time to actually look beyond yourself (you know its not all about u) and see what more you can do for others, which in the end with enrich and bless you in return. i never get sick of the phrase: to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived, this is to have succeeded... yes, a whole year of mba and this is what i've learned.

joyeux noel.