Ubuntu Adventures

nigeria burning

2012-01-11T00:54:00.001+02:00

unless you've been blinded by the new hampshire primaries in the states, and mitt romney's mitt, you probably have heard some sort of news about nigeria this week. while boko haram is burning up the north with threats and gunfire, protests are burning up the rest of the country. i want to spend some time considering the protests. since monday, the labour unions and other organisations including #OccupyNigeria have taken to the streets of Lagos, Abuja, Ife (even London, Atlanta...), etc to protest the governments decision to remove fuel subsidies that have been hampering economic growth, depleting the national budget, and further enabling corruption. at the same time, these subsidies have allowed nigerians, ordinary nigerians, to benefit in one aspect from the god-given natural deposits of oil. that priviliedge (or is it a right) was taken away by the jonathan administration on january 1, 2012. happy new year!

admittedly the minute i heard about the fuel subsidy removal, i was elated. from an economics point of view, the subsidy never made any sense. it was eating into at least 25% of the budget and the rest of the budget was used for recurring costs. if any developmental projects are meant to happen, the subsidies needed to go. i looked at the subsidies, as well, as a hamper on downstream economic growth in the oil industry. its a national shame that nigeria produces and exports some of the largest amounts of crude oil in the world, yet still has to import oil for its population because it has no (zero, zilch) facilities to in which to refine oil. the subsidies do not help bring in that beneficiation investment however. think about it: what incentive does a company have to set up a refining plant in nigeria and hire nigerians, if it can set up a plant in another country (perhaps a neighboring country...), buy its oil in nigeria for the subsidised amount, ship (or smuggle...) the oil outside the country to where the refinement plant is, refine the oil and then turn around and sell it back to the nigerian government at the much higher market prices? no incentive whatsoever. hence i was for the removal of the fuel subsidy.

as i debated with my friends and with the majority of the online community about the subsidy, i started to understand the arguments that i was missing. [big side note here: i still and will continue to vehemently disagree with those that demonise the current administration (i.e. the presidency and the cabinet) and prefer to overlook the good things that sanusi, okonjo iweala and others have done in nigeria and to side with the cracked-up, crooked-up, more-blatantly-corrupt-than-400-bernie-madoffs-put-together congress (house of reps and senators). how that makes sense in people's heads is beyond me. i typically have a rule of thumb: whatever side nigerian representatives and senators are on any issue, run (dash, flee) to the other side, and fast!]

what i do understand more clearly than ever is how this affects the ordinary nigerian. they have been discarded and lied to for most of their lives (if not all). promises turning into lies. lifestyles destroyed. hopes dashed. people are poorer now in nigeria than they were 30 years ago. there is no reason to trust the government. i get that! now government has made it harder to live, to go to work/school, to go shopping, to buy food, etc. i really do empathise. empathising for the people does not however mean that i am against the fuel subsidy removal. however, i think it could have been implemented in a different way (i'll get to that later).

this was not the first time time that fuel prices have been hiked. our buddy president, obasanjo, during his eight years hiked fuel prices about 9 times, including 2 days before leaving office, a move that would later be reversed by his successor, Yar'Adua. In all, the price of fuel was 275% more expensive when OBJ left office in 2007 (N75) than when he came in in 1999 (N20). Thats, Two hundred and seventy five percent!! the current price hikes are a little over 100% of the previous price. we all praised okonjo-iweala when she came to nigeria (then went around the world) saying that they were going to make the nigerian budget and spending very lean, given the tough economic times and nigeria's history of wastage and corruption. what did we think she meant? removing subsidies is simply part 1 of that plan, no?

so with the president claiming there is no going back on the subsidies and the organised protests threatening to halt the economy, what gives? who do we expect to blink first. i believe there will be a compromise between the president and labour, if the president can play his cards right. throughout all of OBJ's price hikes, labour threatened to halt the economy and did organise several strikes. one was effective in getting the president the reverse the hike, but most were effective in getting the two sides to compromise on a less daunting price hike. so i believe there is room for compromise. in fact, the govt should have looked to phase out the subsidy removal, instead of removing it all in one go.

so then what happens when there is a compromise. this is where i see the value of the strike action and movements such as #OccupyNigeria (thanks to BTC-Africa for pointing out). To further compromise with the protestors, the government ought to have a clear plan of action that will ensure removal of the subsidy (which we all agree is needed) as well as removal of corrupt elements in government (which we all agree is needed) and improvements in education, employment and industry development (which we all agree is needed). There ought to be benchmarks and checkpoints that are required before we can move on to the next phase of the fuel subsidy removal. If, for instance, the government says, we will remove 25% of the subsidy now and couple that with developing refineries, privatising the electricity sector, and prosecuting corrupt politicians. If then targets are set to prosecute 1 high ranking politician, or bring in 1 private investor to begin operations in the electricity sector by the end of the year, then they can remove another 25% of the subsidy. Targets and milestones should be no stranger to the finance-heavy reform team in the cabinet! This shows not only a give and take attitude, but a government that is serious about making a social contract with the people and getting back the trust that has been severely eroded over the last 50years.

the government is asking nigerians to trust them to do the right thing without much basis for this trust. its time to wake up, president jonathan! nigerians have woken up in all corners and your credibility and livelihood is fearfully at stake. i have been on board with this administration and continue to be because i believe they've got the right ideas and the right people and the right processes. obviously they could use more people and process, and a bit of common sense. nigerian people are demanding accountability by the government. show us you're serious about development, about jobs, about schools, about roads, then we can trust you more when it comes to raising prices of everything. and to the nigerian people, lets try to be constructive and stop with the demonisation of the presidency and the name calling; its un-becoming of this nation. lets be better than chavez, than south africa, than the US. lets come together in building a better nigeria and not a worse, more fragmented one. that's the spirit of revolution.

the day after christmas - nigeria on my mind

2011-12-26T14:51:00.002+02:00

yesterday was december 25th, christmas day. This day used to be known as a day for family, a day for giving, sharing and, for many, a day of celebration of the birth of Christ. instead, yesterday, in nigeria will be known as yet another day of brutal massacres by cowardly murderers. today, december 26th, used to be known as boxing day. gone are the days when today was used for gathering up the trash from shredded gift wrappers and taking down the christmas tree, or collecting gifts for those less fortunate (UK), or going crazy at shopping malls (Aussie), or sitting in front of the tv set all day to watch sports (US), or performing general acts of kindness/goodwill (SA). today, for nigerians, is a day of sorrow and despair, a day to literally sort out and bury the dead, a day to ask more questions and seek more answers.

3 bomb attacks rocked northern nigeria and the capital city, abuja yesterday and left at least 40 people dead (in nigeria, counting the dead is a highly politicised exercise, so to get the exact number remains a tiring exercise). the christmas day attacks targeted churches, seeking to further provoke religious sentiments and divide the country along those lines (don't be so easily fooled). the group claiming responsibility for the attacks, as with several other bomb attacks in nigeria this year is boko haram (meaning western, or non-islamic, education is a sin/forbidden). this minority extremist group, so far out of the main stream of its own stated religion and despite having been denounced by islamic leaders worldwide, have wrecked so much havoc in nigeria this year.

so what makes yesterday's attacks so special? judging by the outcries on online news media as well as social media, one wouldn't be blamed for thinking this latest bombing cleared whole villages the way the violence immediately following elections in april did in northern nigeria (in kaduna, zaria...), or the way floods cleared entire communities and structures in western nigeria (in lagos, ibadan...). perhaps it was special because it happened on a sacred holiday or it was carried so prominently by international news outlets. however, to those of us who have been following events in nigeria, this was only one of at least 26 attacks or bombings that has been carried out by boko haram this year alone! while each one is touching and heartbreaking and we must never forget that these are individual lives being lost, we must also put it in its proper perspective.

scouring the social media spots yesterday, i became increasingly annoyed, agitated, and worried, as i saw where the conversations were headed. my nigerian friends have often listened to me question the true identity of a nigerian ("what makes you nigerian" is my favourite question). but i think they all know that i ask this not out of disdain, but rather out of genuine curiosity, in a way to make nigerians start to think of what unites us and not what divides us. for some reason that i can't explain adversity, pain, disaster, tragedy seem to unite a nation more than most things. however, yesterday, instead of seeing signs of unity, coming together as one nation in remembering the innocent lives that were lost (lives that did not know why they had been taken so abruptly), i saw mostly signs of division. not usually one to back off of political discussion, i found it inappropriate to turn a tragedy into a political game of who's more to blame (the president or the people) and, even more worrying, why nigeria is still one country and when it will be split. This was the most tragic outcome of the day. instead of speaking of unity, we, nigerians, cower under the clock of the boko haram cowards, and scream out for division, and division now.

a group has already been set up on facebook with over a thousand members calling for a national conference. this same call was made years ago under obasanjo's reign and he brushed it aside as yet another talk soup which would come up with no real actionable solutions and only seek to divide the country more than make it a more cohesive union. when violence and tragedy strike, instead of calling for justice, including the prosecution of perpetrators of crime as well as addressing the causes behind the spates of violence, we call for division. and how exactly would we divide? into the 3 main cultural groups (hausa-fulani, igbo, and yoruba)? the ijaw people (4th largest people group) might have something to say about that. then what about the tiv, the nupe, the ekoi, or the rest of the 370 or so diverse ethnic groups? even within a people like the yoruba kingdom, there are so many diverse groups that rarely get along, for example the people from ife and those from modakeke, living literally next to each other but in conflict for the past several centuries. so then do we split up the yoruba kingdom to avoid conflict? in that case, i would need a visa or be outright denied entry to visit my grandmother who speaks a language completely different from mine, but is considered, at the moment at least, yoruba. where do we stop with the divisions? when do we begin to forget about the arbitrary lines that were drawn in 1886 and begin to build a nation?

nigeria has tried to divide once in 1967 during the biafra war. one of the main factors that led to the end of the war, amongst many other factors, was the inability of biafra to get even all of south-east nigeria to go along with it. this cry for division at the close of 2011 is an issue that should have been put to rest a long time ago. nigeria is not the first or only nation to be fighting terrorism within its borders. spain has been fighting a terrorist group, the ETA, in the basque region in northern spain for more than 45 years. The FARC guerrilla organisation has terrorised colombia for more than 50 years and controls large amounts of its land as well as the drug trade. These two groups have almost become a fact of life in these countries. every successive government seeks to stamp them out one way or another. yet, despite its ongoing war, these countries are not falling apart because of security concerns, there is no national conference on whether to split or to remain one. yes, spain is under-going tough economic times, but that is as a result of irresponsible borrowing and not due to ETA. a few years ago, spain was one of the economic hotspots of europe. colombia has seen steady economic growth and is being billed as the next growth spot in south america.

nigerians cannot allow an extremist group to dictate the future of the country- its identity, society, economy, politics, etc. yes, the government must act swiftly to prosecute and address the underlying issues of corruption, lack of education, lack of basic services, etc... but are we not playing into the hands of the terrorists when we seek to divide the country due to insensible and tragic acts? should we not rather show a sign of solidarity in the face of opposition and despair?

merry christmas!

2011-12-24T15:59:00.000+02:00

This time of the year has always held a special and dear place in my heart. growing up, i don't remember having a tree in our house, but im sure the abundance of trees we had growing in our yard was more than enough. even in the absence of trees in our house, my parents made sure we decorated the house inside and out for the festive season. we had lights everywhere, those little paper circle rings that formed some kind of decoration, all sorts of drawings, and, on christmas eve, we left out shoes out for 'father christmas' (not santa claus) to put our gifts in!

When we got to the US, we adapted to the celebrations there. the little paper rings were still done sometimes, but we started buying ones that were pre-decorated and looked much better. we got a christmas tree (sure it was fake and we loved it that way!) to go inside the house and started decorating the thing with countless ornaments, those silly singing lights, and other keepsakes. no more shoes to hold our gifts, they now went under the tree. and from right after thanksgiving when the tree went up, we kids watched with painful anticipation how the gifts grew under the tree in number and size. every once in a while, the heavens blessed us with snow and we would wake up very early and go sliding and sledding, making snow angels and snowmen, if there was enough snow.

When i moved out by myself, i tried to recreate a bit of the spirit by buying some decorations, even considered buying a tree, but then my no-admin-side kicked in. nevertheless, i would be off to my parents where trees and decorations were boundless during christmas. for the last couple years, ive left the snow and the family and have celebrated my christmas in SA which is a bit challenging, different and tough, but also been rewarding.

Beside the physical depictions of christmas, it's always been a time for me to reflect at the meaning of christmas, as well as reflecting on the year almost gone and the one ahead. as a christian, christmas is a special holiday, celebrating the birth and life and christ. i'm also not one of the trendy masses that preaches against giving gifts for christmas. yes, i think consumerism has taken over the true meaning of christmas; however, even in small doses, we should continue to give in creative ways, precisely to exemplify what God did for us when he gave us his son and what christ did for us by giving us a path to God.

This year, while thinking about this christmas and this season, I couldn't help but look back at the events this year and compare them to years past. Last year, as I wrote in this space, was extremely tough, emotionally and otherwise. I experienced the death of 2 people dear to me, experienced pain and conflict in my family and attempted to complete my studies full time. I prayed that i would never again go through a time like that. Well, this year, was almost as challenging, but lots more rewarding as well. This season, as joyful as it is, for me will always be laced with a bit of pain. In addition to the joyful celebrations, i think of last year when only 2 wks ago, a dear friend of mine passed away at such a young age, after battling cancer for 3 years. a few years ago and a few/several weeks after christmas, my grandfather passed away. in 2003, another dear friend of mine lost her battle with depression only a few weeks after christmas [~God only knows...why you'd leave the stage in the middle of a song~]. this year was not as challenging, but i will never forget those christmas' (and thereabouts) past.

This year, I chose to focus on the amazing things that happened. I gained a new sister and family when my brother got married. I added a title to my CV when i formally graduated with my MBA. I welcomed my mom and dad to south africa (my dad for the 1st time). I received a promotion from work and was blessed with favour from my superiors. In about 3 days, I will become an uncle (technically for the 1st time)!!! I shared meals and fellowship with some of the most awesome guys on the planet and got to watch them grow. a guy that very quickly became one of my closest friends is getting married in 2 days. 6 of my closest friends have found the new exciting jobs they were looking for and left their old ones. and there's so much more. despite some challenges and pain, i was so blessed this year. my greatest gift then, as this year concludes and as i look forward to the next one, is to be as much of a blessing to others (even those i dont know) as I have been so richly blessed.

Here's to a fantastic and safe christmas and new year season and an exciting start to 2012!

are you inspired?

2011-11-20T16:35:00.001+02:00

i'm inspired.

back in my younger years (eons ago), i used to go to church camps every summer. the camp that i went most was called neotez (some native american word that means youth, i think). i loved neotez and anxiously looked forward to this 1 (or so) week every year. anyway, this neotez camp, somewhere in the middle heartland of america, was set on a beautiful piece of land, (almost) untouched by man. the massive trees, fields of grass, hills, valleys, rivers, lakes in the horizon just made this spot a perfect spot for a getaway (and also, of course, ready-ground for trouble making by teenage boys!). on this piece of camp land, there was a spot which was probably the favorite spot for most people. it was called inspiration point. i'm not sure how much inspiration went on at that spot, but only a 15-minute walk from the major camp grounds, lay this amazing spot of nature. if you liked a girl and wanted to impress her during a short recess, you would sneak her off to this spot and gaze at the amazing wonder (not that i did any of that, of course!). it was essentially a cliff (and not that high either), overlooking a river and some grass and trees. on a clear night the stars were most beautiful at inspiration point. on a stormy evening, the lightning was most pronounced there. daytime or sunset, dawn or sunrise, inspiration point was the place to be.

i went to this spot almost every summer from middle school until even after college, and tho i'm not sure how much inspiration i got, it definitely helped to put things in perspective and provided an opportunity to marvel at how awesome nature really was. hence i typically associate inspiration with nature.

a couple blog posts ago, i blogged about a blogger's crisis, not knowing what to make of this blog and not having the necessary inspiration to continue to write about myself. well...i am proud to say that i have not yet found an answer to what identity this space should take. i am equally proud to note that at least for this post (and maybe a couple to follow), I will continue to write about what interests me and things going on in my life. what's a blog if not self-indulging, no??! so in this search of inspiration, i of course went to the woods, watched the stars, took a walk around nature and arrived back at the same spot i was before. refreshed of course, but back to the city grind, having found no answers. what fun is life if answers are easy to find, right?

failing to find my inspiration in nature, i had almost given up, when i attended a work seminar and was treated to a guest speaker, professor nick binedell, dean of the gibs school of business in joburg. he was told to speak about his inspirational life and his journey as a white south african, very much involved in the struggle against apartheid. he spent about 4 seconds on that and decided he wanted to talk about other things that he's more passionate about than his life. he then spent the next hour encouraging us to find what brings us joy and doing it. in a room full of ambitious business/corporate types ("future leaders of SA!"), he challenged us to do what brings us joy and only then can you do "great work". and great work, he added, is often voluntary. some balls this guy had to tell a bunch of us looking for the next quickest way to make money, and tell us to go find something voluntary to do that'll make us great and potentially radically change the landscape of south africa. i loved it!

he spoke about only needing 2 things in life - a mirror and a map. the map tells you how you got into the room; and the mirror reminds you who you are and what brings you joy. he left us with a couple inspirational quotes:

1. in your lifetime, you can make africa work or crumble.
2. the world is your oyster, but you gotta go fetch it.
3. the most important thing is curiousity.

now none of this was earth shattering or groundbreaking. i'm sure at one point or another i have heard these saying before. but for some reason at this place and this time, it resounded to me. perhaps it was the search for something inspiration in my life that gave his speech meaning. perhaps it was my year-long itch to get back to doing meaningful work (both voluntary and otherwise). or maybe the discussions that i had with 2 south africans who gave a rather daunting evaluation of south africa's current standing. these 2, whom i deeply respect, told me in complete honesty and absolute sincerity that they would be leaving south africa soon because they honestly felt that the country was on a familiar collision course for disaster. maybe it was all of the above. whatever it was, i left that room wanting more. i went to speak to the prof in the hallway after his speech for another 30 minutes and i still wanted more. i was inspired!

so what now. i'm still inspired. but i still want more. more than just inspiration. how do i find what brings me joy? south africa is not my country, but i feel compelled to work to ensure that the dire and negative evaluation of some people about the prospects of south africa never come true. im not american but i want to do the same in america. im not african (cuz there's no such single thing...), but i desire to do the same across countries in africa. i'm inspired to do something. but what that thing is, i haven't a clue yet. i leave it up to fellow readers and bloggers to hold me to that inspiration. and to those who may have recently found their inspiration as well, lets get to work! lets find that map and mirror.

baseball, gadaffi, occupy wall street

2011-10-23T08:00:00.000+02:00

i don't have much to write at the moment, but wanted to share a few things that are trending through this blogger's mind!

Baseball : for the last couple of weeks, i've been infatuated with baseball. actually ive been infactuated for the last couple of (10 or so) years. but ive been watching american baseball at the oddest of hours (start time 2AM in joburg) for the last couple of weeks. many people have remarked at the amount of dedication that takes. i think its mostly stupidity, but i dont know any other way! the reason i'm paying special attention this year is that my team, the st. louis cardinals, are in the playoffs (now world series). they won the world series last in 2006. and i still remember every moment of that memorable time. this year's playoffs/world series has the potential to match or eclipse that storied 2006 season. see, this season the cards were hit with so many injuries to key players. sometime in august, after a string of heartbreaking losses, i stopped intently following them (a bad fan i know). many that i knew (as well as other teams and media) left them for dead as they continued to pile on loss after loss. but sometime in late august or early september, something clicked. they started winning a whole bunch of games. mathematically, however, they were only a couple losses to being completely eliminated from playoff contention. but something strange and magical happened. as they continued to win games, the team they were chasing for the extra wild card spot, the atlanta braves, started losing a massive number of their games. these two teams, moving in opposite direction when once they were far apart in the standing, finally closed the gap and were tied on the 2nd to last regular season game. it would take a win by the cardinals and a loss by the braves, several hours later, to clinch a playoff spot in magical fashion. after they (barely) made it to the playoffs, they went ahead a beat the best team in baseball (philadelphia) with their imposing pitching staff, then they beat the team that beat them in their division (milwaukee) with their imposing lineup or batters. now they face a very difficult team (texas), tied 1-1 in a best of 7 series. a win would be just way to magical, way too special, for a team who everyone once gave up on.

Gadaffi : someone asked me what i feel about his death. after not a lot of thought, i responded: relieved, its about time. it seems that after the prolonged fight and the many friends and networks that gadaffi has across the world, the only resolution that remained was to kill him. interestingly, the misguided south african government put out a statement by the president saying that it wouldve prefered that he be put to trial by the ICC instead of killed. hmm, SA foreign policy never seizes to amaze me sometimes. wrong on cote d'ivoire, wrong on egypt, wrong on libya. again. first SA votes with europeans on the air attacks. then says, no they were fooled and the air strikes have gone beyond the agreement (this of course, after they were scolded by the BRIC countries, most importantly China). then they refuse to side with the so-called "rebels" or recognise them. then the bad man is killed and they say he should have been tried by the ICC. this is the same international criminal court that they complain of being too one-sided in its witch hunt of bad african leaders. this is the same court that they could partner with to bring the sudanese tyrant of a president, omar al-bashir, to justice after being accused and wanted for genocide, war crimes, crimes against humanity, embezzlement, etc. but they refuse to. right. anyway, back to gadaffi, while i am relieved that the man is dead, i refuse to celebrate his death like others do. i'm not saying they are wrong to do so. perhaps they have very good reasons to rejoice. however, just like the death of bin laden earlier in the year, this to me is a solemn moment, a moment to reflect, and more importantly, a moment to consider the future and what it means, a golden opportunity to re-build.

Occupy Wall Street : this movement is fascinating, to say the least! I couldn't get enough of reading about this, especially because every news article, every person interviewed, has a different view on what is actually being protested and the merits of it. ive always thought of myself fully business-oriented. at the same time i would also like to think of myself as people-oriented. ive argued many times that it shouldnt be mutually exclusive that what's best for business is best for people. i still believe that. which is why on the one hand i can sympathise with those who feel that wall street has screwed them over with bad (to put it mildly) investments of their money, shady dealings, and bailouts that at times simply went to the pockets of the perpetrators through bonuses. on the other hand, i can sympathise with those on wall street or in 'the corporation'. many are simply trying to make the most money for their clients (as they have been charged to do). yes, without wall street or big business, we wouldnt have the massive collapse in world economies that we've experienced over the last few years, but without wall street, many would also not have jobs to lose in the first place. big business has created a lot of job. yes, even manually-created bubbles such as the housing bubble or the internet bubble created millions of jobs and many are grateful for it. bill clinton would not have won a 2nd term if not for it. what is disturbing about the occupy wall street movement, however, is in its very nature. it was conceived at the grassroots- a movement largely leader-less, addressing the concerns of the masses and not of the few. i love it. i really do. but at some point you need a leader. you need a clear message. in search of that message, many have turned to a single word: anger. we're angry so we protest. ok, that'll get you noticed, but then what? look at the COPE party in south africa. the leaders were angry that their voices werent heard so they formed another party. that party was doomed from the start, as it could not decide on a platform or key positions on key issues and is now largely in the background. and now occupy wall street faces the same hurdles. many across the US and across the world have taken advantage of this movement and now have made it their own. ive got no clue what SA is protesting (one account says its protesting against capitalism. borring. another says it seeks a different approach. what approach then? and approach to what? gimme an effing break.). but this is inevitable. when a movement is ill-defined, it risks the real possibility of being hijacked by other movements, or other individuals, in hopes of self-gain. i look forward to seeing what comes of this movement. my opinion: i think people in the US should be thinking seriously of how to break this constitutional "barrier" against a third party. i would love to see a third party in the US that addresses real issues and does not cater to the norm and the tired arguments of the 19th century! i do not want the tea party; i don't want the green party or the reform party. i want a party serious about thinking intellectually and outside the linear line of american politics. a party not afraid to side with another party if ideologically-sound. a party that address the real issues in real and practical ways and not one so far fetched that only crazy people would follow. i'm tired of stalemates. time to check!

blog(ger) identity crisis

2011-10-22T22:18:00.000+02:00

this blog is going through an identity crisis. this blogger is going through an ideas crisis. a crisis, not to be confused with a block. see a mental block only last for a few hours, days, weeks. a crisis, on the other hand, is a symptom of something much deeper, stemming from lack of desire, lack of passion, or simply just a lack. of everything. sounds pretty sad (read: lame) doesnt it? but in the spirit of glass-half-full, i may just stick to what some of my friends have been saying to appease me. to them, its a lack of time, i.e. working taking too much of my time or im so interested and involved in so many things that its hard to focus. suuure. i'll buy that. for a minute.

i've written a couple times about identity crises amongst my friends and how much a loathe the feeling of inadequacy based on failure to identify with one sole group of people (although admittedly a very real feeling). but what about a blog identity crisis? how does one get past that? in finding possible answers, perhaps its worth looking through the history of this blog. so thats exactly what i'm gonna do.

(by the way, this may not be interesting to most people, but its a bit therapeutic for me). i wrote that preceding caveat before thinking of what i was writing. but it actually brings me to my first point. when i started this blog, it was really entirely about me. my adventures in the "mother country" of south africa coming from the states with my western education and western world view, funny accent and funny way of dressing. i wanted a way to connect with people in the states, without writing individual or mass emails. i wanted to share my experiences, photos of wild afreeka, adventures and thoughts. i wanted to keep in touch. lay hold of the memories for one day when i return (then the plan was a 2yr stay!).

now things have changed a bit. 1, i don't know when i'll return anymore. i've fallen in love with south africa and its many many faults. but my first love, the US, can never be forgotten and is always there, waiting for me. my other first love, nigeria, albeit a forgotten love, or a back seat lover, or a mistress - open for quick firey affairs every now and then - lies waiting as well. or maybe its time to try on another strange lover? anyway, back to the blog...the blog shifted at some time to not simply discuss my adventures, but a bit about my views on different topics. another metamorphosis occurred when i realised that my stubborn views are not always the right ones (or the only right ones), so i skewed this blog to more so questioning many things, inviting readers to assert their views, to contribute to my learning and expansion of my knowledge. i acknowledged that there are many things that i dont know. i have a view on many/most things, but mostly i use that as a starting point for discussion, a way to bring others in to influence my views or me their's. a true debate. when i wasnt entirely satisfied with the learning from the blog, i joined the scary world of twitter - in search of the lost art of debate and shaping views through exposure to different sides of the same story (chimamanda adichie would call that the dangers of a single story).

the recounting of the history of this blog leads to one realisation. its always been about me. whether explicitly or implicitly, even as i invited others to join in the conversation. i wrote about me or about what i did or what i enjoy(ed) or what i thought. but this begs the question: is that a bad thing? many topical blogs or newspaper opinion pieces may not be explicitly about the author; however, implicitly they tell the story of what the author likes to write about, how he/she thinks, what his/her views or stances are on important issues. its pretty boring to write a story with no slant or no bias, isnt it.

but alas, this is where i stand. do i continue a self-gratifying blog about me, cuz u know who doesnt wanna hear about my life. continue questioning ideas and thoughts and inviting others' views (i must admit i like this kind of engagement). do a choose a couple/few topics that really interest me and harp on those (entrepreneurship, african development, politics, baseball (!), e.g.). i dont have an answer. this blog is in an identity crisis.

what's in a heritage?

2011-09-24T18:40:00.000+02:00

so today is the youngest of South African national holidays, Heritage Day. Or is it? Some refer to this day as Shaka Day. Others, actually most people, refer to it as National Braai Day. Listen to the radio shows, read the newspaper articles, and hear people speak about this day this week, and you would not be blamed for thinking that South Africa dedicated an entire day to celebrate braai-ing, or bbq-ing (for my non south african buddies). Although we saw almost no sunshine today, i'm sure this did not keep thousands, millions, from braai-ing and preparing potjies (pronounced "po-i-keys"). So why are south africans celebrating braai meat? What heritage are they celebrating?

I managed to come across this unbiased (i think) background of heritage day:

In KwaZulu-Natal, the 24th of September was known as Shaka Day, in commemoration of the Zulu King. Shaka was the legendary Zulu King who played an important role in uniting disparate Zulu clans into a cohesive nation. The Public Holidays Bill presented to the Parliament of South Africa at the time did not have the 24th of September included on the list of proposed public holidays. As a result of this exclusion, the Inkatha Freedom Party (IFP), a South African political party with a large Zulu membership, objected to the bill. Parliament and the IFP reached a compromise and the day was given its present title and seen as a public holiday.

So are we then meant to celebrate the Zulu kingdom today? and how does braai-ing fit into the culture of the zulus? i spoke to a few south africans about my many questions and they gave me many interesting responses. most agreed that it was a day to celebrate sa's many diverse cultures and its ability to understand, tolerate, and share in others' cultures. 15 years ago, former president nelson mandela stated that the reason for declaring this day a holiday was to acknowledge that the rich and varied heritages in sa have a profound power to help build the new nation. He added that in order to rise from the ashes of division and conflict, it was essential for sa to acknowledge the sacrifices and talents of all the cultures residing in these borders. Yesterday, many organisations encouraged their employees to come to work dressed to showcase their cultures. At my client i saw several people dressed in full indian attire, zulu and xhosa wear. there were even some in "other" african wear, from east and west africa.

However, i didn't see anyone in afrikaans gear or british gear. those from british descendants claimed they hardly have a culture to display. i guess i can't blame them for that! however, the afrikaans have a very rich and celebrated culture. why were they not participating in this national holiday. ask many of them what they're doing to celebrate the holiday and they would give you a stare like you were the dumbest thing in the world, and almost in unison tell you they were going to braai, all saturday. of course. in all fairness, quite a few/a lot of blacks, indians, etc also use this day to braai and affectionately label the holiday as national braai day. but how did that come to be? how did heritage day become braai day? seems to water down the significance of the holiday no? or perhaps, it seeks to find some common ground, as with rugby or cricket, that most south africans can cling to in hopes of finding some sense of commonality - a hope for a nation striving to come together?

For the all-too-educated blacks i spoke with, this watering down of an important holiday to something as meaningless as burnt meat did not fly too well. one replied to my questions by stating:

"first we need to reflect on what we have inherited before creating a new so-called heritages of a new consensus. And truth is that what we have inherited this far is causing discomfort to those that stand to loose from the critical review"

That's deep and powerful and all-too-personal for so many. He added:

Braai day is a good idea, they just need to find a separate date for it and not undermine the significance of what brought about heritage day. People died a people suffered for this day to be symbolic.

other bloggers and twitter-ers shared similar sentiments. everyone loves to braai or to go to a braai in sa. that's a national consensus! but should this "new heritage" overshadow the real significance of heritage day? on a broader note, shouldn't we as a society be careful not to lose historical significance of our history, lest we forget where we came from and where we're going? do we all wanna end up like the british decendants who seem to believe they have no heritage? my father loves to remind his children to never forget whose we are and where we come from. he was reminding us in a way, not to lose our heritage, perhaps knowing full well how easy and convenient it often is to forget.

Happy Heritage Day South Africa! and in the words of a twitter-er that i fully respect: "Celebrate your roots but let other people braai too"

never forget

2011-09-12T20:22:00.000+02:00

Maybe because its the 10yr anniversary. maybe because Osama bin laden was brought to justice this year. maybe because death, and near-death experiences, had been on my mind particularly much this past week. I'm not sure but for some reason, this 9/11 felt a bit different from the rest.

10 years ago, benjamin netanyahu, former and future prime minister of Israel, after what had been the most shocking, surprising and devastating attack on the US on US soil (at least of my lifetime), declared: "Today, we are all americans - in grief, as in defiance" Many around the world would go on to echo that sentiment, including the influential french (yes, french!) newspaper, le monde. but what does this seemingly hyperbolic sentiment really mean? Was it simply europe standing by its long lost brother in a sign of profound solidarity, the same way the US had stood by it in 1962 when JFK declared himself a Berliner? maybe. i'm not sure. but i can remember at the time, in the fall of 2001, it felt good to know that america was not alone. others would rally behind it in a time of mourning, of grief, of loss, and of pain.

10 years ago, i remember being shocked and horrified, more so speechless, at the sight of the towers collapsing live on television. in tears of God-knows-what as friends and classmates tried desperately, and mostly unsuccessfully, to reach loved ones in and around new york. i remember the following day, trying desperately to think of what good could come out of this. would the country rally together like we've never seen before, the way schools *almost* rallied together after columbine? would the country use this as a way to reach out to foreigners and those of other faiths and embrace them in the way the country was built to do? or would it bar down its doors, live in fear and isolation, reach new levels of intolerance?

10 years ago, i remember discussing this with my friends, lecturers and family. no one had the answer, but everyone wondered the same thing. there were so many directions to take, and we only hoped the country would take the right one. not content to wait for someone to tell us what to do, we began to conjure up ideas of how we would remember this moment. as someone too-conservative-for-my-liberal-friends and too-liberal-for-my-conservative-friends, i decided an appropriate response would be one of tolerance and love, giving back in any way we can. i campaigned for and advocated teach for america, peace corps, missions work...anything to show that while some may despise the way america does business, the genuineness and philanthropy of americans cannot be denied.

10 years ago, i, and many of my friends, felt what the new york times described as a "heartfelt desire to be changed", to change things. we wanted to be called on to do more for our country, to make this "senseless horror count for something....there was courage and unity on the streets of the city and all across the country". truly, on september 12, this feeling of unity was felt around the world.

so maybe, that was what netanyahu and many others meant by "we are all americans"? that the world was unified with americans. not simply that, but perhaps, also, the world was at a turning point, ready to be changed. ready to embrace the change that was apparent on september 12. the bombings of 9/11 affected more than just americans. 372 is the number of those that lost their lives in the trade towers who were not americans. the wars that followed 9/11, the bombings, the attacks, the fighting made this a global fight on all corners of the world. it wasn't long before my family would feel the effects of 9/11. because we are all americans, my uncle, my nigerian uncle, chose to join the US army. he was sent to afghanistan shortly after. leaving behind a daughter and pregnant wife, he went to serve a strange country, yet one he believed in, this time in iraq. now, he's in north korea, still serving this country, because we are all americans.

uncle serves as an example of how we wanted to remember and commemorate 9/11. ready to leave his family behind to serve a cause greater than himself. to show others in his unit and across the globe that americans can be a force for good. he didnt go to war to kill. he went to serve. one of the most humble people i know, he went to counsel, to teach, to work, to defend and to learn. politics aside, there are lessons to be learned from this attack, just like there are lessons to be learned in any act of violence or terrorism. i just hope its not too late.

"may God bless the memories of those we lost"

post-post: i was overwhelmed to the point of numbness with the coverage of the 10th anniversary. I sat glued to the cnn and al jazeera, with my laptop on my lap shifting from the new york times to cnn.com to pretty much anything else i could find. so i share some with you:

My Unfinished Business: Keller, a news writer, turned opinion editor, turned executive editor recounts his and other journalists' defense of the defenseless war in Iraq and questions what he would/could have done differently.

Loss and Hope: Remebering life on September 12.

The 9/11 Decade: The most complete, indepth and surprisingly fairly balanced coverage of the 10th anniversay. Al Jazeera is on a league of its own!

Portraits of a Changed America: Perhaps this should be portraits of a changed world. One could argue it needs to include photos of atrocities caused by american troops in the world after 9/11. Also a good story: http://us.cnn.com/2011/US/09/10/911.changed.america/index.html?hpt=hp_c1

the real secret to success in life!

2011-08-09T23:19:00.000+02:00

so, as most people do not know, one of the things i'm most passionate about in life is entrepreneurship. not so much being an entrepreneur; i'm too risk averse for that. more so, finding a way to encourage entrepreneurs and hopefully one day helping govts and organisations to see the benefits of entrepreneurship and develop practical ways to reduce the often overly obtrusive barriers to entry. besides those closest to me, however, you would never know that this is one of my passions. sadly, it is one of several "hobbies" that i have absolutely no time to devote to.

this post is not about my lost passions, though. it is precisely about entrepreneurship. kind of. a couple days ago i read a blog post from an org i've been following for the last 5+ years, called growthink. this org focuses on everything and anything to do with entrepreneurs, particularly in the states. from writing business plans to consulting to investing, etc, this org is pretty clued up and has grown significantly over the years. the moment i saw the title and tag line of this blog, i was intrigued. i have to admit, when i saw the title ("the secret of success in business and life") appear in my inbox, i immediately searched for the delete button - much like you probably wanted to ignore this post when you saw the title! for some reason, though, before i did that, I managed to skim through the tag-line and my interest was peaked. it went something like "you're probably skeptical of anyone saying they have the secret formula (i was/am), but like nothing else i've ever read, this is spot on (hmmm...)". the parenthetical italic-ed comments are my own, btw.

anyway, i decided to go to the blog to find out more. you can check it out here. the blog was about a book title The Leadership Challenge by James Kouzes and Barry Posner (recently added to my list of "soon" to read books). This is what peaked my interest: the author says "the secret to success in life is to stay in love"! WHAT? or better WTF??! apparently:

"Staying in love gives you the fire to ignite other people, to see inside other people, to have greater desire to get things done than other people. A person who is not in love doesn't really feel the kind of excitement that helps them to get ahead and to lead others and to achieve. I don't know any other fire, any other thing in life that is more exhilarating and is more positive a feeling than love is."

just some BS logic to sell a book, right? i also found it interesting that, like any good businessman, dave, the author of the blog and owner of the org, put his 3 cents in and translated the quote to mean that people must be passionate about what they do. while i think that's true, i also think that's pretty much given, and not really a secret. and quite frankly, i don't think it captures what Kouzes & Posner are saying. i sincerely think that by being and staying in love, Kouzes & Posner mean, being and staying in love. not with your business or with your ideas (duh), but with someone. i am absolutely no expert on this, but do find it strangely interesting and worthy of some thought, discussion, and of course, another blog post.

more on this. coincidentally, i was having drinks with a close friend the day after reading this, chatting about everything and anything, from girls (the fact that i have none) to work (bleh) to the many business ideas that we have and never implement, etc. completely out of the blue, he blurts out, "you know, folu, i've decided that we really need to find you a girl...i really think what will take you to the next level in life is to be in love"! i typically brush off these types of comments with a joke or a voetsek, both of which i used artfully to get out of this topic as well. but, in my mind, i was reminded of the blog from growthink. next level? love? success? whats the connection? could it be my hurt from my last failed love that holding me back and enabling much of the dissatisfaction i have in my current job? could it be true that finding and staying in love will somehow translate to success in business and in life? is it that simple? i guess being in love does teach you a lot of things in life. Kouzes & Posner use words like "excitement", "desire", "fire" "exhilarating" and "ignite". Those terms, used to describe feelings of one who's in love, can also be used to describe the day-to-day outlook of an entrepreneur, no? you need excitement and desire to start your own thing and ensure that it grows and thrives. hell, you need excitement and desire to live life to its fullest and be satisfied in what you do and who you are.

so what does this mean? if you're not in love, you can't be a good entrepreneur? if i dont find love, i wont move to the "next level" of mankind and achieve satisfaction or, as jerry mcguire would put it, completeness? what is it about this warm and fuzzy feeling anyway that inspires people to action and enables entrepreneurs to get the most out of their businesses and employees? do i actually believe in this hog-wash? makes a bit of sense. actually makes a lot of sense. so its on like donkey-kong. the search for love and this elusive next level, that is. any takers?

madiba: savior, saint, or common man?

2011-08-07T22:01:00.004+02:00

Last week, i was invited to join a discussion with a group that i described as young energetic south african youth leaders (or YESAYLs). No, these were not political youth leaders in the mold of julius malema (good ole juju). and they probably wouldnt consider themselves youth leaders...yet...but imo they're well on their way to defining and shaping the conversations in south africa in the years to come. and that's a good thing. i'm not 100% sure why i was invited; though being a friend of one of these YESAYLs didn't hurt i guess. I'd also like to think that i was invited because one of the YESAYL thought I had something to add to the topic. and she knew me enough to know that i would never turn down a chance for a good debate.

The topic: Mandela Day and Mandela, in general.

Before I got the invite, I had a pre-debate with aforementioned YESAYL about Mandela day and the activities set apart for that day, particularly the one organised by the cheesekids organisation. See, every July 18 (or thereabouts), south africa celebrates the former president's (and living icon's) birthday and 67 years of service. Mandela has made a point in recent years to remind south africans this should never be seen as a holiday (which it isnt), but as a national day of service - a day set apart to do something, anything, for at least 67 minutes to help someone else or some community or some school, etc. People proudly boasted of the 67 minutes they spent cleaning up their local park, their local roads, taking food to the homeless, reading to kids, painting schools, etc. instead of south africa looking for a moment to unite around during world cups and sporting events, you would have thought they found one during mandela day. people were reporting from all over the country what they had just done and how proud they were of themselves. it was a time to be proud to be south african, or for people like me, proud to be among proud south africans. or was it?

at least one group of young intellectuals (mostly black south africans) found something fundamentally wrong with these kinds of activities. Enter the previously mentioned YESAYLs. They criticised the cheesekids organisation for organising an event that was supposed to be about giving back, but rather turned into a publicity stunt with "famous" people showing up to sign autographs and the organisation spending lots more money on concerts and PR than actually focusing on helping people. They questioned how much "help" or effect the 67 minutes really had on the communities. Were township kids really better off for kicking a ball around for 67 minutes? Were students smarter and better equiped to succeed academically thanks to the new hastily painted hallways? Were the homeless better off for the bland soup made and distributed within the allotted 67 minutes? Or was it a day to feed white guilt and make people (white, black, indian, green, purple, yellow...) feel good about themselves, because, hey they've done their 67 minutes of service and now they can relax in anticipation of next year's 67 minutes? (one YESAYL wrote a brilliant piece about this in the leading mail & guardian newspaper; check it out at here)

This was the starting point for last week's discussions facilitated by these YESAYLs. you may have noticed me or others tweeting with #madiba. These were the instructions of the group for those that chose to tweet the debate. I resisted at first, but just like my resistance of twitter, i had to give in to the urge! Moving on, the convo quickly turned from the pointed debate on mandela day to the "issue" of mandela himself.

The sub-topic: do we still need mandela?

As south africans, these YESAYLs all had valid points; I learned quite a bit from them. there was no debate that madiba was needed in the early 90s. As the struggle went global, it was necessary to have a face for the movement. when blacks were liberated, but tensions existed between zulu's and xhosa's, for example, madiba was absolutely necessary. despite his many flaws, madiba the saint was needed for a time period. the question now remained, do we still need madiba today? do we need a saint? a savior? do we need to look at our past to determine where we're headed or do we need to look to ourselves to find the savior within?

Intellectually, the arguments of the YESAYLs made sense. Painting a school for 67 minutes or giving bread and sweets to a homeless person may actually do more evil than good. Ideally, we would all want people to have a more sustained commitment to helping those in need. going to a school every week to tutor and mentor is obviously much better than going once a year, for an hour, and kicking a soccer ball around, then turning around, getting the hell out of there as fast as possible and going back to enjoying drinks, dancing and music in a much more comfortable northern suburb (which is some people's recollection of what happened on mandela day). And yes, ideally, we would leave madiba alone and let the man be in peace and move on. we wouldn't use him as a crutch or elevate him to a pedestal he never asked to be on. we wouldn't use him as the only reason to do something for a purpose greater than ourselves. what happens when the man dies? we would have to move on sometime, no? why not now? but is this only an intellectual argument?

for those students of south african history and the history of the struggle - as most of these YESAYLs were - its easy to recognise madiba for the ordinary man that he is and therefore to place too much value on the intellectual and fact based arguments. but for people like me - and i would dare say many other non-south africans - #madiba represents more than himself. i challenged the group to look beyond the intellectual argument and towards a more emotional and realistic one. to remember what madiba stood for and represents to the rest of the world. he was the face of the black struggle. to move on from that so quickly, risks "moving on" too quickly from the plight of the black south african - a struggle that still continues in full force today. to move on from the ideal that is madiba risks moving on from the ideal of forgiveness and nation building. as an alternative to madiba, many may turn to a more militant and less thoughtful juju- a scenario, i don't even wish to entertain. dead or alive, if people can look at madiba and be inspired to learn more about south africans or to act in an unselfish manner, with a greater purpose, if madiba represents the aspirations of a nation and the ideal of freedom and reconciliation, then why are we so quick to want to discard that? although fully aware of his faults, i was inspired by madiba and what he represents and represented. an ideal he was willing to die for - words i can only aspire to say one day.

and what about mandela day. once upon a time, i used to hate people that come through inner cities or townships once or twice a year and pass out candies or play soccer with the kids for an hour, give them some soup and then leave. I agreed with the group that it helps the "volunteer's" egos and guilt way more than he helps the communities and kids. but then i thought some more about this and the ideal of the majority of ONE. if events like the one organised by cheesekids (however flawed) allowed just one person to experience something they would normally have not in a community they would normally not visit; if the call to service opened the eyes of one teenager to think of others above themselves, even for a few minutes, and sacrifice some of their time and resources; if all the festivities introduced only one person to the idea of giving more regularly and volunteering more actively, then in some way it has its value. i think we may need to start viewing development of people, communities, nations, in such a light. As we await the lightning bolt to hit, eradicating poverty and solving world hunger, perhaps we can take solace knowing that one person has been given an opportunity to have a view into the world of helping people help themselves, perhaps meeting others with the same goals, and perhaps going on to make it a sustained habit.

these YESAYLs have decided to start a youth think tank. i look forward to watching them grow and hearing great things about them!

lessons from momsie and popsie

2011-06-27T01:16:00.000+02:00

so the parents just left and what a week and some. before i say much else, i just want to say how much i really admire those guys, their marriage, their faith, their love for people, and their resilience. popsie always says that their dream and hope is for their children to surpass them in all areas. to be honest, at this point, if i manage to be even with them (esp marriage-wise), i'll be happy!

they're so cute!

speaking of parents, they came from the US after a brief stop in Nigeria. Which leads me, sort of, to what i want to discuss. lately, i've been on a self-proclaimed 'journey of hope' - to find things about nigeria that make me hopeful and which spell signs of development and improvement. before then, i had been all too often chastised for being a pessimist after being the eternal (and naive) idealist in my university days.

because the last time i was in nigeria was about 6 years ago and, since then, i've read and heard some postive things, i was looking forward to hearing my parents perspective and their experience in naija. well, i must say it took all the optimism in me to keep the faith after listening to my parents lament the sorry state of the country. these are die-hard nigerians (my parents, i.e.) who have been investing and building for decades, dreaming of their early retirement back to nigeria. the feeling they had was not simply sorrow, but even anger, at the waste, corruption, and under-development of nigeria. seeing the roads in south africa, even the small potholes, they couldn't stop complaining and marveling at why the nigerian government cannot do something as simple as fix the roads that are in such disrepair that if left alone will render nigeria un-travel-able. when i took them through the shacks and impoverished areas of cape town and johannesburg, they were surprised that this sort of poverty still existed in south africa; however, the next thought that came to them was how even the poor, mostly, still have access to good (and relatively clean!) roads, water, electricity (sometimes). This meant that the poorest of south africans were still likely several levels richer than the poor nigerian.

sure, south africa cannot begin to compare itself against nigeria and thus celebrate being far and away more developed. but, on the flip side, nigeria certainly has to consider its journey in comparison with south africa's and be much ashamed. what have we done with so many riches - within the soils, the waters and brains of nigeria? and what about all those positive reports of nigeria improving? the improved banking environment? the cleaner lagos? the housing boom? perhaps my parents didn't go to those parts? or perhaps changes in the macro- and micro-level factors have yet to reach the average nigerian?

this reminds me a bit of 2009, when i spent the year working in botswana. no offense, and all love, to my batswana friends, but i gotta call y'all out! going to bots, i had read all the glowing reviews of the country. least corrupt african country, most developed, best cinderella story, going from very poor to high middle income country in ~40years, boomin economy, booming middle class, etc. well, this wasn't exactly the case. In fact, the capital city, Gaborone, was a little more than a glorified village. However, this is about where the comparisons b/w nigeria and botswana end. Personal bias aside, the policy level changes in botswana were actually being felt among the average batswana. I do not recall seeing one beggar in all of Gaborone. People were being put to work, mostly. The average guy in 2009 felt better off than the average guy in 1970. My parents lived in Nigeria in the 1970s and they and many others certainly felt richer, prouder, and more hopeful then than now. theres shame in that.

so the million naira question remains: what is wrong with nigeria and how do you fix it? my parents have many theories; one being that nigerians are simply not patriotic enough and do not own up to their country enough to want to fix things without waiting for the nebulous govt to act. im not so sold on that theory. but the idea of patriotism got me thinking about solidarity. what makes nigerians nigerian? its certainly not language, culture, or a shared sense of identity and belonging. rather, its a bit more modern than that. and perhaps gives some glimpses into what the problem is. if you ask any nigerian on the streets of lagos or elsewhere how they're doing, they will not answer "fine", like the rest of the world. No, the most common response to that question is simply: "i'm struggling". so perhaps, its a shared sense of struggle that makes nigerians nigerian? its this sense of struggle that makes nigerians get up in the morning and drive through none moving traffic, board well worn, torn, and overcrowded buses, navigate the crater-sized pot-holes on every street and highway. perhaps, also, its this sense of struggle that keeps the nigerian from taking ownership of things such as neighborhood crime, cleanliness, roads, water provision, and infrastructure development and maintenance. to me, these are easy wins for local governments. is it this sense of struggle that gives corrupt politicians (that's almost a pleonasm) a free pass - allowing them to endlessly steal taxpayer money with less than nothing to show for it?

my parents have never stopped dreaming about retiring back to nigeria, and in fact have been building and investing in anticipation for that. however, one could almost hear a doubt in their voices as they lamented over the increasing negative trajectory of development in the country, contrary to a lot of the news one reads about these days. even if were able to diagnose what the problem was - patriotism, corruption, sense of struggle or otherwise - how do we go about fixing it? what am i doing or can i do to address it? that, my friends, is the 2 million naira question.

catching up

2011-06-12T08:05:00.001+02:00

sincere apologies to my die hard fans (all million and a half of you) who haven't heard from me in a while! i know i've been MIA for a realllly long time, but you can blame that on my work that has kept me locked in (literally sometimes) and has captured my soul. i wish i could say that its been fun, but it hasnt. at all. enough about the soul-devouring employer and on to a recap. sort of a cop out, yes, but so many things have happened since the last time i posted an i didn't just want to pick one. so here are a couple highlights!

Goodluck Jonathan Wins Nigerian Elections
I know this probably seems like old news now, but its still a great achievement that should be celebrated. I think in most places other than Nigeria, the achievements of the latest elections and its significance would have been celebrated much more than it was. Yes, many people are aware that relative to other Nigerian elections, this was probably more credible, free and fair. To be sure, there were lots of irregularities and politicians attempted to incite their paid thugs by crying foul and watching as looting, fighting, and murders ravaged on unhinged. But as we nigerians like to say (and those who follow Nigeria) relative to other nigerian polls this was a pretty darn good election period. Kudo's to the election commission chair Professor Attahiru Jega for assembling a good (enough) staff, instilling good (enough) practices, taking on the backlash after delaying the start of the elections due to irregualrities and still pulling off a good (enough) election over 3 weekends.

So what makes this election so special? in order to answer that, we have to look at who President Jonathan is and where he's from, as much as where Nigeria has come from. 1st, the president, by admission of his own name, has been truly lucky the last few years. Without coming from a lineage of rainmakers or politically savvy gentlemen and women, he was pulled from obscurity to be the deputy governor of his state, Bayelsa. Within a couple years, the sitting governor was indicted for corruption charges, fled and was detained in London where he fled embarrassingly disguised as a woman (wtf!). After his impeachment, he was succeeded by Mr. Goodluck Jonathan. Then barely a couple years after, Mr. Goodluck was chosen to be the running mate of to-be President Yar'Adua to bring a north-south balance to the ticket. The ticket won the presidential elections and 2 years later the sick Yar'Adua croaked and after a brief vacuum of confusion, mr Goodluck assumed the office of President of the Republic of Nigeria. This means, in essence, the only election that Mr. Goodluck has won was the 2011 Presidential election. Congrats, Mr. Goodluck!

2nd, Mr. Goodluck hails from a region known as the south south, the Niger Delta. This is a region where the vast majority of the wealth of the nation comes from. Interestingly (or not), this is also one of the poorest regions in the country with no infrastructure, no good educational system, no jobs (besides the lucrative business of kidnapping, cutting oil pipes and stealing some oil (causing violent fires) and other gang related activities). Additionally, the people of the Niger delta can be considered a sort of minority group (one of legions) as they do not form one of the 3 major groups (Yoruba, Hausa, Igbo). so for the 1st time in Nigeria's history (I think), we have a president that hails from a minority group - one that has been marginalised and neglected since Nigeria became Nigeria!

3rd, check this out:

that would be the electoral map of nigeria. Goodluck managed to capture the south of the country, but the north remains anti-Goodluck. he must find a way to win the hearts and minds of those guys (not an easy task at all), in order to maintain any sense of peace and security in the country. Already, in addition to the unsettled Niger Delta, terrorist cells have been springing up and causing frequent deaths in many parts of the country.

I don't wish you goodluck, Mr. Goodluck Jonathan, I truly wish you Gods-speed and guidance! and i'm pulling for your unhindered success in addressing the true needs of Nigerians and bringing real and lasting development.

MBA graduation
This weekend was my graduation weekend. Luckily I was able to come and more importantly, my parents were able to come down (on route from US via nigeria). I didn't have much time to think about this event before I left for cape town on thursday, but as I saw old classmates and lecturers dressed in their finest and got to catch up with some i hadnt seen in so long, i began to realise just how fine of an occasion this was. i met some really amazing people during my studies last year that i plan on doing my best not to let get away (even if it means stalking!!)! a few people saw so many sides of me that i typically dont let out often; those same people were with me through good and bad, tough and rough, and i hope i can be as invaluable friends to them as they have been to me.

My parents brought some gifts from Nigeria and the states for me, including an awesome shirt that i was all too pleased to wear. They also wore their traditional nigeria outfits to the grad, which i must say, brought some much needed colour to the event. im so very proud of my parents and to see them proud of me was quite a awesome experience as well. check it out:

I'm for sure glad to be over and done with the MBA, and def ready to start reaping its benefits! I had some amazing lecturers who opened my eyes in ways i didnt realise they could open. I learned a great deal and can't wait to start imparting my knowledge on the world. watch out!

there's lots more that have happened in the last month, but this post has been long enough. plus i know i've kept you from weiner-gate long enough. more life-questioning, thought-searching views in the posts to come...

osama dies. so what?

2011-05-02T22:09:00.000+02:00

by now, i'm sure you've all heard "the news". i was awakened this morning by a friend who simply texted: "they finally got the man"! in a frantic panic, not knowing which "the man" he was referring to, I quickly checked my sources while texting back for further clarification. anyway, needless to say, it was no cause for real alarm. nonetheless it was big news. really big. but how big really? and whats the significance? obviously the significance to US politicians - obama's struggling image particularly - as well as the victims of 9/11 and those they left behind is huge. but is there any significance of this to me?

although no longer living in the states, i was around during 9/11 and the aftermath(s). with that i fully expected to feel something - anything - with this news. but to my surprise, i felt very little if anything at first. no big relief. no celebratory mood. no urgency to call family and friends. almost nothing. i think i was a little relieved that one of the more dangerous terrorists, one who cared little for human life, had been removed from the face of the earth. but it was an uneasy relief. knowing full well, this is was and is not a one man show. he leaves behind a whole army of young and old that follow his philosophy and values. he leaves behind a legacy followed, explicitly or implicitly, by countless political and religious leaders and millions of youth. i would love for his death to mean that that philosophy had received a serious blow to the nuts which would disable it from any thoughts of reproduction. but i would also like to believe that i will wake up tomorrow a multi-billionaire.

as i drove around today, i wondered why i hadnt felt the way i thought i should have. and i think it finally clicked. as with many emotional points of my life, i had somehow found a place to shove the memories of 9/11 and refused to let them out to surface. as i began to allow these thoughts to resurface, my mind went straight to the morning of 9/11. as i was leaving my dorm room for class that morning, i caught a glimpse, in the common room, of the same picture above of the twin towers being brought down. these images were played nonstop throughout the day. i remember my class that morning was one called "Present moral problems"- a modern philosophy course where we debated current and pressing issues that seldom had a right and wrong. that morning, no one knew what was going on, so the lecturer tried having a normal class, but quickly sent us out as people became more frantic. i remember speaking to friends from new york who couldn't reach their families on the phone to find out if they were alright. i remember comforting friends and classmates (i'm actually not sure what i said or couldve said in that situation). I remember the entire school gathering on the quad and holding candles and praying for those who lost their lives and whose families had been affected. forever. in a moment like no other - a moment of solidarity and togetherness - i had never felt more american (with or without papers!). you sensed a feeling that we were in this together. we had a common enemy and that day, as the french president proclaimed, "we are all americans".

these thoughts remained with me for quite some time. i wanted revenge as much as i wanted justice; i wanted consolation for those who were left behind as much as i wanted those taken to rest in peace. i wanted a rebuilding of american values and identity as much as a tearing down of the hate and institutions that had propelled the terrorists.

those perhaps europhic feelings didn't last long as people went back to their normal lives, heeding the foolhearted advice of the foolhearted president who told us to simply "go shopping". columbine was supposed to unite schools against violence and teach students the values of acceptance and tolerance. it was supposed to open the eyes of teacher, student and administrator. it was supposed to entrench the words of mandela: never again! it fell far short of that. 9/11 was supposed to unite americans against violence and terrorism and teach to all the values of religious tolerance and the true meaning of being an american. it was supposed to be a moment when we all starred fear, injustice, hatred, intolerance, religious slavery with bold eyes and proclaim: never again! it again fell far short of that.

so as i thought more of the events today. i did eventually start to feel something. as the memories resurfaced, i couldn't help the chocking up that ultimately materialised. the memories of friends concerned for loved ones. of mates from new york recalling stories of near misses. of images of everyday heroes and heroines joining in the rubble of the twin towers to assist any way they could. i couldn't help but think: is this another opportunity to learn our lessons? if so, what lessons this time? i argue that we should strive to learn the same forgotten lessons of 10 years back. that we strive to shun violence and fundamentalism at its core. that we seek tolerance - in politics, in religion, in 'race', in thought, and otherwise. that we seek to find what unites us rather than scrape at what divides us. [i can start by replacing the "we" with an "I", i guess...] is that too much too hope for? i'm re-learning how to hope these days, but even I think it might be...

post-post: for more info about how 'the news' might impact the US, middle east, war on terror, etc...read Mr. Kristoff.

nigeria votes 2011: big day

2011-04-16T01:01:00.001+02:00

in a few hours, nigerians go to to polls to vote in a new president and governors. so many things have happened since the start (or almost start) of the elections. there was the postponement, and then the 2nd postponement. the shellacking (in nigerian terms) of the ruling party in the parliamentary elections, and theres the collapse of one of the opposition party presidential candidates who many young people initially believed could bring about change. this was ribadu, the former chair of the anti-corruption agency. as i've mentioned in an earlier post, this guy completely turned me off when i watched him debate. i'm still impressed with the party and its organisation and seeming desire to deliver services in areas they control (like lagos), but im not at all convinced in the candidacy of mr ribadu. and apparently neither was he, as he and his party tried had to merge with another opposition, as theyve tried many times in the past. its all politics folks!

so at this moment, im feeling very proud and hopeful that things are happening in nigeria. im so inspired, not by politicians or empty promises, but the committed activity by ordinary nigerians who tweet and blog endlessly, given people like me a feeling like we were actually there. another journalist widely respected, christian purefoy, has set up a site and uploads videos and reports on whats happening. ive known about this guy for some time now and he's covered nigeria for several years and im constantly impressed with the way he covers nigeria and the sorts of stories he tells. stories that are not always the mainstream. i think i have a man-crush! keep up the good work. check out his site: http://christianpurefoy.tumblr.com/.

good luck nigeria. let change and development reign!

meet kristy and tayo

2011-04-16T00:48:00.000+02:00

move over kate and william. theres a new hot royal couple! really, they're hot! and they're royalty!

stunning!

last weekend, i was honoured to be asked to be the best man at my brother's wedding. and it was a completely beautiful affair. the wedding was full of laughter, crying (quite a bit), some very pleasant surprises, some not so nice moments, more laughter, lots of emotions, and lots of love. leading up to the wedding, i actually tried not to think about it too much, because for those of you who know, it was a pretty emotional thing for me. I wasn't sure what to expect. Even trying to write and practice my best man toast was such a mission and emotionally draining that i put that off as well until the very last moment!

hole in 1? more like 100...

but alas, the wedding was totally beautiful. we had an amazing time. the mix of cultures with roots in africa, north america, asia, europe, etc was really an awesome sight and setting. i even played golf for the first time. ever. as my brother thought it would be a good idea to hit the course the morning of the wedding. it was. lots of fun. and the day couldnt have been more beautiful. oh, and the church was stunning, the photographer amazing, bridesmaids beautiful, the guests lovely, and on...

so, even though I've done some toasting of the couple already, I wanna do it again publicly. Here's to tayo and kristy! my big bro has always been a mentor, a guide, and a great example for me to emulate. I can see exactly what kristy sees in him and what he sees in her. they match. i can understand the countless people that came up to them to tell them what an inspiration they, individually and collectively, have been in their lives. I pray, and i know!, that you guys will continue to be more of an inspiration and light to those that are around you. I can't wait to watch you as you grow in your love and marriage. And please please please dont feel like you have to wait for those pikin's to start poppin' out! I want little nieces and nephews already! and i promise ill babysit - as long as you bring them over to SA first!

she's really nigerian now!

keep livin, lovin, & laughin. here! here!

chillaxin'. too school for cool!

those kids can move!

nigeria votes 2011: bad start?

2011-04-04T08:55:00.006+02:00

foremost, and with extreme jubilation, i can now announce that this blog has received an audience (a couple actually) in nigeria for the 1st time! what an achievement.

secondmost, and also with extreme jubilation, i just arrived in the us of A and spent an amazing 2 days in chicago. i really love this place! looking forward to the rest of my trip elsewhere and my foray into best-man-ing!

thirdmost, and not-so-jubil-ious, nigerian elections! so the 3 part elections were set to start on saturday, april 2. however, due to some ballot boxes not being received in certain locations, the decision was made to postpone the elections by a week. the new dates: parliamentary elections will be held on the 9th, presidential on the 16th, gubernatorial on the 22nd. about 15million people had already voted before the elections were postponed.

for the past couple of days and hrs, i've been gauging people's reactions to this on cyberspace and it aint pretty. granted, the sheer mention of postponement or hint of annulment or malpractice brings back ghost of past botched elections and stolen votes and disappointments. i get that. but, as i mentioned in my previous post, the chairman of the election commission is a widely respected man . based on that, i can't help but think he's a bit embarrased by how this has all started. that being said, it seems he would only postpone this if he was witnessing already some malpractices and things that were simply not right. the whole world is watching. nigerians are on the edge. he needs to get this right. im i being overly optimistic?

i think we, nigerians, should chill for a moment and give this some thought. yes, some say a developed country would have had a plan b and would not have allowed such a thing to happen. well, guess what?. nigeria aint a developed country. some say that we should expect more from our country already and stop lowering our expectations. well guess what? our expectations should be pretty low, seeing as nigeria has rarely held a valid and credible election, ever! lets take things a step at a time. in the US, hundreds if not more lawsuits get filed on and after election day citing malpractices. in the US, millions of people get disenfranchised and turned away from voting when they shouldve cast their votes. this is supposed to be the most matured democracy in our time. so lets face it shit always happens. elections will never be smooth. taking an extra week to get things righted is no problem for me. in fact take a month or so. whatever you need Dr. jega!

this site is awesome for following the latest: http://elections.234next.com/

soo impressed by this site: http://www.reclaimnaija.net/

and read about it here: http://blog.ushahidi.com/index.php/2011/03/30/using-the-ushahidi-platform-to-monitor-the-nigeria-elections-2011/comment-page-1/#comment-8522

and fourthmost, i will unfortunately/fortunately be following the nigerian elections for the next month. likely more so on my twitter page, so people are more than welcome to follow me on twitter. for those that care little about politics, i apologise in advance (again) and promise to return to the regularly scheduled programme in may! :)

nigerian votes 2011: fool me once, twice...

2011-03-28T20:45:00.009+02:00

the nigerian elections are less than 2 weeks away. and of course we've begun to see the tell tale signs that people are ready to vote and votes are ready to be counted. those signs include pre-election violence (read: a bunch of hooligans, some paid by political parties, decide to reak havoc for their own good and hide under the cloak of fighting for democracy) and lots of ridiculous promises by politicians. so i wanted to briefly explore those promises and some hopes that make nigerians so hopeful that this time, this year, change is in the air!

i was watching a not-so-great debate of the top candidates - minus the top-est candidate, mr. goodluck - the other day and just noticed how completely full of hot air these politicians were. OK thats not really earth shattering news, politicians have never been known for substance anywhere in the world. But this was just to another level. I really believe that these men believed that they can fool nigerians over and over by their empty words and we would simply grin and take it, stick our asses in the air and ask for more. one was asked what he would do about the crisis in the energy industry and what specifically he would do. he responded something to the effect of "specifically, he would look into the problem"! are we nigerians that dumb to believe this sht? or is he that dumb to think we can be easily fooled? another said he would investigate the misuses of the past administrations. while admirable, id much rather a government thats forward looking that one that obsessively looks backwards and blames everyone from military, to the british, to the sun and the moon for all that ills nigeria. another does not know the difference between military dictatorships and democracy. yet another commented that he would set up committees upon committees to get to the root of the problem. ok. committees are nice and fact finding. wait. this is nigeria we're talking about. committees are yet another excuse to party and squander tax payers money.

i was very critical of mr. goodluck jonathan's - the noted academic - failure to join in the debate, but his actions seem to speak louder than a words on a stage can. that's the other tell tale sign of nigerian elections: the legislation and presidency begin (and i stress begin) to take action. for example, the year's budget was finally passed! never mind that every expert, nonexpert, reasonably minded and nonthinker knows that there's no way in heaven, hell or earth that that budget will be implemented or is even implementable. not to mention the gross domestic deficit it calls for. in other news, the government is finally planning on rolling out a gas policy that will allow the country to take advantage of the massive potential of gas generation and export. the govt also made a big hoopla about the train project which is nearing its end and would allow people to travel effortlessly around the country (and why dont we start with moving goods and providing enabling infrastructure for the necessary and free movement of goods??). the revised oil bill, due ages ago, looks like it might pass soon. the prez has promised millions of jobs within the next couple of years. etc. etc. the president, mr. goodluck himself, however, has not explained why the external reserves which he controls have dipped ridiculously low. but hey, we can't ask for a saint can we?

needless to say i'm completely uninspired by the candidates rolled out to lead this great conundrum of a country. but rather the devil you know than the devil you don't right? i'm starting to think a goodluck presidency (a legitimate one) could be good for the country. he would inspire a lot of youth from the south-south region - a region from where no president has ever hailed, even as it is largely responsible for the vast wealth of nigeria today. perhaps he would get some backbone and stop trying to please the granddaddies of politics and focus on the people. hey, one can only hope.

now back to the reason for most people's hope. the independent national electoral commission national chairman, mr jega. hand picked by mr goodluck. the good news is that unlike his immediate and past predecessors, mr. jega is widely respected and acknowledged as an honest, well meaning, hard working man of action. and he's shown that so far. i honestly have not heard 2 bad words about this man. nigerians, election observers (already in the country), and the international community are all up on this man's jock. so he must be doing something right. at times i worry tho, that the problems are so grave and ingrained (and largely beyond his control), and the expectations so high. he cannot stop people from engaging in violent acts. he cannot stop political parties from employing thugs to vandalise and intimidate. but he has set up his organisation to represent his values. he's set up special courts for election cases to be resolved faster than normal. he's fired those within inec that are not in line with his values, he's run a successful voter registration. etc. etc. i wish this man the best. but i also caution against unreasonably high expectations for one man (see: b-obama).

ultimately, im left asking what will be considered success for nigeria's elections? ive admittedly lowered my expectations in all areas regarding my country. i dont expect much and i enjoy being pleasantly surprised when something good happens. so what are the election observers looking for to call this election good, free, or fair? will it be relative to other failed elections in nigeria? or compared against the beeming electioneering experts of our good neghbour, cote d'ivoire? will nigerians stand up and refuse to be fooled or taking as fools one more time? will we take after ken saro wiwa and wole soyinka and take to the streets? its all coming up in the days of our nigeria! this should be a good one. stay tuned!

love lost

2011-03-07T21:44:00.010+02:00

my dad told me a story once. not sure why he told me this, but it was one of those rare times when he decided that i was grown enough now that he could speak to me as an adult and talk a bit about his past. his story was about what happened right before he decided that my mom was the one for him. there was apparently another lady that my pops had his eye on and i guess whom he had been hangin out with (or whatever they did back in the day!). So right before he decided my mom was "the one", he had to settle his feelings about this lady. so he went to her to tell her how he felt and see how she felt about spending the rest of his life with him. according to him, he was quite unsure about this move and about his relationship with this lady in general, as his friends were also not sold that the lady was the right one. so he got to this lady's place and they had a nice little chat during which she told him that she was also seeing someone else and the guy had asked her to marry him and she had accepted.

my dad often stops there? im then left wondering how he felt with that shocker from the lady. was he heart broken? as a christian man, did he feel that it simply wasnt meant to be and that God would provide the right "one" at his time? did he try to convince her to take him instead? did he walk away with his pride? head held high? did he regret being too late?

so i asked him some of these questions recently and his response was that he was ok with her response. he wasn't sure if she was the right one anyway, and her response just sealed the fact that she wasn't. so he was just happy with the closure. hmm... i guess hindsight is always 20-20. i wonder if he wouldve responded the same way 33 years ago coming back from the lady's house after being utterly rejected. a man's pride is a well-guarded and treasured artifact.

why did i think of this story from my dad? and why now? well, i was talking to a friend a week or so ago and he told me a story that sounded so similar and as he got more emotional about his encounter with this girl, i remembered this story from my dad and subsequently gave up on trying to find an answer to his questions. after giving it some more thought tho, i actually think the questions that such encounters pose are far more worthwhile exploring and allowing to simmer in the deep centres of our minds than simply an answer that may not embrace the intricacies of the situation. my friend was going through what a lot of men have probably gone through. here he was, just after having poured his heart out to a girl he was crazy about and being utterly rejected. how does he deal with that? i'd heard him speak about this girl so many times and he must have been closer to in love with this girl than he's been with any girl he'd spoken about in the past. the problem was that this girl, although a friend, apparently knew nothing of his love and was busy carrying on with her life. he had somehow convinced himself that she felt the same way and that additionally brought him to an edge of self-despair, regret, and hurt. i'd seen this guy through a lot in the short time i'd known him, but never had i seen him in such a state. the power and hold that women can and often do hold on us guys is real and immense!

as this guy wept and i brewed over our conversation, i began to ask myself some of those same questions that he was wondering as well. when do you know when the one is the one? how can you keep from regretting decisions made in the past? when do you hold on and how do you know when to let go? how far do you go to convince the "one" that she belongs to you and you to her? after all that convincing, assuming you win in the contest, will there be more pressure to perform? how much/far do you chase? do you just do as my dad and brush it off as something not meant to be, or do you try relentlessly? maybe God knows better than us and she's not as perfect for you as you once thought? for how long does this feeling of hopelessness, despair and loss last? how do you guard from having that love become a lost love?

was this normal for my friend to go through? i thought so. but it was painful for him. i think it still is painful. but we all grow from each experience we face. and my word of the wise (tho he probably didnt want to hear it) was that "the one" is the one we decide/choose is the one. therefore there would be many more opportunities to meet another "the one". (if anyone has better and wiser words, pls let me know!). i hope i'm right! i could feel the hurt in him.

on a completely unrelated note, i'm currently listening to a tiiii-te tune that is definitely worth checking out! i've had it on repeat now for a couple hrs!

~The Garden~

the english, american, and nigerian

2011-02-26T13:06:00.011+02:00

so you've heard the one about the english guy, american, and nigerian at the bar, right? what is that? you haven't? well allow me to tell you. there was a english guy, an american and a nigerian sitting having a beer at a bar in london on election night. the english lad turns to the other two and says, "mates, you're really watching true democracy in action. our system is so good, that we're having the elections now and in just a couple days, we will know who the winners are, barring run-offs." the american just smiled and said, "man, y'all have some stuff to learn. we hold our elections in america and that same night, we know who the president is!" meanwhile, the nigerian bloke is just having the time of his life, laughing at these two okes. takes a break from his laughter and says, "guys, our system in nigerian beats all others. even though we are having elections today, we've already decided on the winner months ago!"

I read this recently: "Nigerians are incurable optimists and believe the ballot is the way to effect change. This will clearly not go on forever. As it is said, if you fool a person once you are a fool, but if you fool that person twice then for sure that person is a fool. I don’t think the Nigerian youth is a fool."

nigerian elections are coming up in a little over a month, on 9th april. so i'll be writing about that quite a bit from now. but of course i'll try to write about other things as well. and i promise, to those that are not into politics and government, i will write very shortly about something much more personal. watch this space...

for now, back to nigerian elections. Everywhere you go, you're bound to run into nigerians. and everytime i to talk to nigerians about the upcoming elections, they are always so optimistic. there's a reason nigerians have won the prize for most optimistic people 3 years running. anyway, im one nigerian who's doing his best to hold back any measure of optimism. don't get me wrong, i would love nothing else than to be optimistic, but a wise prof once told me "a cynic is simply someone who used to be an optimist and has just been knocked down too many times." ive been disappointed in nigeria too many times, ive ached for nigerian too many times, ive rejoiced in nigeria too many times and then watched it take 14 steps back after 1/2 a step forward, ive sobbed for nigeria too many times. i also deeply respect my friends who remain optimists and hope that i can one day regain that same sense.

This nigerian election is different only for one reason. There is no clear frontrunner. Yes, the sitting president will likely win, because thats how they roll, but he's not a given, as the aforementioned joke alludes. Mr. goodluck, if he wins this election, will finally be able to claim that for the first time in his life, he's actually won an election (although he's been deputy governor, governor, vice president, then president). he will also accomplish another first in being the first president from the so-called "south-south" - the oil rich part of the country. the part of the country that makes the nation one of the richest in the continent, but a region which remains one of the poorest in the world. His major competition, a man i truly respect, is mr. ribadu, former and exiled chairman of the anti-corruption body under the former president OBJ. This man has vision, and he's young and vibrant and a hope-monger. im a sucker for hope-mongers! i very much doubt he'll win tho as he belongs to a much smaller party than the ruling party, but i like the hope he's instilling in young nigerians. the other competitor is mr buhari, who is past his prime and his time, but whom many nigerians respect for good reason.

I don't really have a fovourite for the election, but what im hoping is that more than any other election in the history of this young nation, the electorate wakes up and begins to demand action and progress. i doubt anything like egypt or tunisia will happen in nigeria, for good reason (tho i wouldnt be completely opposed to it), but instead, what nigeria needs are politicians that begin to debate policy, issues, and outcomes. tell me what youve done or what you plan to do and exactly how you will do it and you get my vote. the current lagos governor for example was accused by the opposition of corruption and while people knew he had shady dealings, no one gave a flying saucer, because what he's been doing for the last several years in lagos has had real and positive effects on the lives of ordinary lagosians. signs of progress are visible and continuous. is it not time we began to demand such from all our politicians? starting with our president? how many times must we listen to empty promises of reform in energy? or end to blackouts? no one even talks jobs or employment anymore, while the related issues of crime and gangsterism are increasingly on the rise. what about progressive issues of renewable energy that the economy is well positioned to take advantage of? what about health care and mortality rates? tourism? or an economy that encourages and harbours small and medium sized start-ups instead of frustrating them? "Nigeria's election commission has already deployed 240,000 people-more than all armies of west africa's 16 countries put together-and 132,000 data capture machines, which if lined up edge-to-edge, would cover over 80km." surely, change is in the air, no?

a friend of mine set up a day of prayer for nigeria and the elections tomorrow on facebook. i admire that. but firmly believe that faith without action is DEAD. nigerians should stop being a "hopefully" country, praying and longing for that one day when things may get better. and begin making changes now! im not talking of revolutions and uprisings. im talking of rejecting corruption as a way of life. being whistle blowers, starting impact business defying the difficulties that come with it, empowering children and youth, eduating. nigerians are smart and resiliant and we believe we're a special breed. we are. and if others can make change happen - the kind of change that impacts the ordinary citizen and brings about meaningful development - nigerians certainly can as well. in fact we should be leading the pack.

post-post: i think i write a fair bit about nigeria in this space. but im quite disappointed that i dont have the kind of following from nigeria that would be expected. so thats my goal now! interestingly, i have a sizeable following from the Ukraine! I know approximately no one in or from the Ukraine, but somehow, last week, the highest traffic i got was from the Ukraine. This week, Japan is threatening their position. go figure! anyway, nigeria is now on my watch list.

post-post #2: what leaders that remain in power despite election laws, or african leaders who refuse to recognise the power of democratically casted votes (looking at u zuma, goodluck, dos santos, etc), are saying is that they, as a sole individual, are more enlightened than the masses. while at times the masses may get things wrong, i reject that notion as firmly against the institution of democracy, the same institution that they purport to be champion. i also reject the notion that they are smarter than me. ur not.

100th post!

2011-02-13T00:26:00.009+02:00

i'm so proud that on my 100th blog post i get to talk about a couple things that i'm so passionate about! politics and baseball! i actually hesitate to call it "politics" (tho i do enjoy my fair share of political bullshit discussions). but this is more than mere politics. what i want to talk about is about freedoms. its about people. and their voices. its about a revolution!

a while ago i read an op-ed piece where an egyptian was quoted after the tunisian people toppled the sitting government as saying that "today, we are all tunisians". the feeling of unbelief, then exuberance that filled me after what happened in tunisia remains undescribable. likewise, and even more so, i find it hard to put into words how i felt on saturday when i could proudly say, "today, we are all egyptians". i dunno why, but i felt such a pull towards the egyptian people. ...the resiliance...the passion...the cries...the tears...the shed lives...the strength. ive learned to value people of different persuasions to me in many areas of my life, but i find it really hard to understand people who are not emotionally charged by what is happening in the middle east. as a brotherhood (and sisterhood!) of human beings, we owe the people of egypt and tunisia (now yemen, iran, and others) nothing less than to take pride (and part, if we can) in what is happening. the process. the transformation. the revolution.

in high school, as the student body president, my advisor and civics teacher, ms. meyer, used to urge us student leaders to find something that we're passionate about (like free lunches or updated textbooks, or new facilities...yea, life was really difficult back then!) and fight for it. jokingly, she said she really wanted to see students stage a mass walk-out. i remember ms. meyer saying some pretty crazy and out-there things, but the lady had a good point. i don't think i've ever cared about something or someone so deeply that i was willing to risk my life for it. this is not about politics. this is about people. wanting to be free. wanting to hold people accountable to their words. this is government for the people, by the people. i truly hope that the succeeding weeks and months reaffirm, rather than squash that. even more, i hope that the lesson here for others is to find something that we are sincerely passionate about that we are not afraid to put our voices to and risk our lives for. thats deep.

tahrir means liberation.

watching the crowds demand their liberation, demand that their voices be heard, assert that they will no longer live in fear, but that their voices and actions matter and count for something, i was moved. these voices had been quieted for so many decades under the bane of fear, unworthiness, guilt, shame, religion, and hopelessness. these voices had had enough. for more than 2 weeks, these voices proclaimed that they would no longer be kept silent. one protester at tahrir square who came with his wife and young daughter reflected,

"We got a message from Tunis. And the message was: Don't burn yourself up, burn up the fear that is inside you. That is what happened here. This was a society in fear and the fear has been burned. When we meet God, we will at least be able to say: We tried to do something" [more]

That was before president mubarak stepped down. rather, was driven down. the egyptians more than "tried to do something". the protesters, the volunteers who came daily to ensure peace was held and the sick were tended to and the grounds were clean and the looters were kept at bay, they all were part of a great revolution of our time. a revolution seeking democracy and development, freedom and unity, and seeking this not through foreign armies and crooked deals, not through guns and wars, but rather through that very natural gift of their voices. united. one can only hope that the ripples that have been started in the arab world, emboldens other communities and brings them together in one call - the call for credible and democratic leadership which is for the people, by the people.

i could say so much more about this, but i'm already getting too emotional. thanks to al jazeera which has kept me glued to news and analysis from a different perspective all along. its interesting to read journalists and other commentators debate whether "an egypt" or "a tunisia" can happen in their country. to those that doubt that it can, i say, shit on your people long enough and soon enough they'll start realising that the droplets they feel on their heads is in fact that - shit. i think most people don't appreciate being shat on for an extended period of time. maybe that's just me.

moving on...baseball.

this has nothing to do with the post above, but its gotta have a mention. pitchers and catchers have reported to spring training / camp (mostly in florida). most other players will report by the end of the week. and the baseball season (seemingly never ending) is upon us once again. for my south african buddies who i have yet to convince of the genius of baseball, let me say again that this sport (as dull as it may look to the layman) is truly one of the greats. come chat to me. in the mean time, heres to my favourite team, the cardinals, signing one of my favourite playes, poo-joles (pujols), to another great season, and a world series (yes, we are the best in the world so much so that we dont need to play other countries to tell us this) ring for the cards.

how much does your boss make?

2011-02-07T00:03:00.004+02:00

Last weekend, i spent some time with 2 very distinct and pretty different groups of people. thinking about that night, i noticed such a stark contrast not only in terms of the conversations that we had, but more so in my response to the conversations and my feelings during and after the encounters.

set 1, i like to call the new young crew. here were young'uns who seemingly wanted to make a difference, but wer also obviously skeptical. they were quite an eclectic mix, including those that worked for ngos, private companies with social focuses (or is it foci), those passionate about building up african leaders and entreprenuers, etc. talking to these guys and gals really re-juvenated me and i could feel a bit of my youthful hope come back again. only a bit tho...

pan over to group 2. later the same day, i spent the rest of the night with the group known simply as dear friends. these guys i've known for a few years now and some i feel like i've known for most of my life. some of them can still remember wild dreams of making a difference, but had since been hit by reality bugs. much of our dialogue revolved around money and more money and cars and houses and more bling. it was about how much you made and how much your boss makes and what you need to do in order to get to where you matter (of course, "matter" purely defined by your salary and bonuses). i hope my sheer excitement (and sarcasm, hopefully) shines through my words.

frankly, i dont think those kinds of convos have ever interested me. but im not gonna lie, i like having money and certainly believe that it's necessary. but to make a whole night of discussion out of money (or at least most of it) got quite a bit depressing as well. are we really so defined by how much we make and what we can do to earn more? why the obsession with earning more or looking to emulate those that do? are we defined by our economic class? does our social status depend on it? admittedly, the answer to some of these questions is "yes", whether i choose to accept it or not. but does it have to remain like that?

now im being a bit too harsh on group #2; afterall i did enjoy talking to them. both groups in fact had something in common. i think ultimately, we all want to make a name for ourselves and want to make a difference, either in the lives of our families, those immediately around us, or in our community, locale, country, world. how we do that, i guess, is where the 2 groups might differ (tho not necesarily so).

i would like to think that i enjoy discussing ways of impacting the world around me, practically, than how i'm gonna get rich. i think i would rather make others around me wealthy and well off (the right way, of course) than exploit from them for my own good. don't get me wrong tho, i also need to live comfortably and need a career that caters to my home, vehicle, and vacationing desires. but am i really that old fashioned or naive to think that i can find or make a career that does not see as mutually exclusive the 2 goals of helping people and making money at the same time? (that might look and feel like a question, but i have a pretty good answer to it!) am i crazy to enjoy discussions about what i did to make that money that im making, regardless of what it is, than simply talking about the money.

i think i lot of people misread me and my mba (thats right, the degree that keeps me warm at night!). a lot of my post-mba discussions now for some reason start and end with exclamations of how this degree should just launch me salary-wise and how i need to start looking to buy and enjoy certain pleasures in life now that i hold the almighty capitalist degree. while i definitely expect to earn more money because of the mba, i dont think its a license to start having discussions about money for money sake. hmm, for some reason, that just doesnt seem very interesting to me. maybe im a bit odd?

side note: comedian steve harvey writes, in his book, that men are driven by "who they are, what they do and how much they make". until they accomplish these things, they are unlikely to feel they've fulfilled their destiny as men. dunno what i think about that, but it reminds me of one word. and that word is: bullshit!

so what did i take away from this night with the 2 sets of people? not sure, but it looks like i dont like to have lengthy conversations thats purely revolve around money and how much i need to be making (or gloating over what one celebrity did with their money and how i need to do the same...). i'd much rather discuss what i do. what i really do (which may or may not be my current job). what im passionate about. what gets me up in the morning. what keeps me going like an energiser bunny. what im so enthralled about that i could do for the rest of my life. what stirs my passion and livelihood so much that i would give my life for. the only problem is i haven't really found that thing. until then, i think i will keep looking for convos that are interesting, continue challenging my ultra-idealistic friends (like group 1) and their funny ideas, while challenging the group 2-ers to find something way more interesting than bonuses and cars to talk about (i mean, com'on!). or maybe i should just let loose and party!

post-post: happy superbowl sunday!

a wild adventure

2011-01-24T21:00:00.010+02:00

“Deep in man’s heart are some fundamental questions that simply cannot be answered at the kitchen table. Who am I? What am I made of? What am I destined for? It is fear that keeps a man at home where things are neat and orderly and under his control. But the answers to his deepest questions are not to be found on television or in the refrigerator...Don’t climb on that, don’t break anything, don’t be so aggressive, don’t be so noisy, don’t be so messy, don’t make such crazy risks. But God’s design – which he placed in boys as the picture of himself – is a resounding yes. Be fierce, be wild, be passionate.”

Those are the words of john eldredge writing in the book: "wild at heart". I remember reading this book a while ago and really hating the stereotypical characterisations of "a man". I didn't really buy what he was saying, then. But the more i think about it and the more i pass through life, i realise how true some of his words are.

With that in mind, I went on a wild adventure a few days before I started work last week. I envisioned sitting by some water (even if i dont swim in it!), chillaxing, reading a book or newspaper, pondering the meaning of life, and trying to psyche myself into being positive about work. well, i didn't exactly get that; instead i got this:

now you may be saying, but folu, that looks very relaxing, chilling on a boat in the water. well i was in the water, sailing for 3 days, but i definitely was not relaxing. that look that you can't really decipher on my face is the "i-am-so-shit-scared-i-could-poop-my-pants" look. oh, and what you also cannot see is that the boat was at that time angled at 70degrees to the water (of course 90degrees and we would be swallowing water). my mentor and friend, nick (whose boat this was) thought it would be a good idea for me to steer the boat. so i did most of the steering while nick relaxed under the hood! thats some faith! this is nick:

i wasn't always scared shitless tho. i did enjoy most of the time. my inability to swim notwithstanding, i steered like a pro and learned all sorts of sailing terms and commands like "trim your sails" and "release the jib" and set the sails to the steering" and "sailing too close to the wind", etc. we ended up sailing to different spots along the river and camping or sleeping on the boat wherever we stopped. i even jumped in the water to swim. we talked about nothing and everything and even got super adventurous once and decided to follow our ears to find a waterfall (no path or map involved). about an hour later we arrived here!

[i debated posting this pic, but i went ahead anyway, because im positive none of y'all will make any silly remarks about how i need to lose weight. badly. which i already know!]

at the end of the trip, tho, i can say that it was truly relaxing, while at the same time not so relaxing. i was tense a lot, especially when in rough waters, but i felt so relaxed sitting/lying there, reading, talking to nick about very real and deep topics, unloading and being unloaded upon, sipping coffee non-stop, watching stars and sunsets, enjoying fish as they flip-flopped in and out of the water, listening to the non-stop crying of crickets and the dog-like barking of baboons, being seduces by the sound of crashing waves and flowing waterfalls. i found new definitions of beauty.

anyway, i sincerely recommend a trip like this to anyone, especially guys. it actually made me so ready to conquer anything, especially work. it also left my skin peeling everywhere, cuz i was so sure black people like me don't sunburnt (i was wrong, again!). guys, we need to find the adventure in us and even though i dunno if/when i'll do something like this again, i was awakened to the love of the outdoors that i've had (but which i'd surpressed) since i was a child. I can't wait for my next adventure. in the meantime, few more pics.

top-10 things on my mind for 2011

2011-01-08T17:57:00.008+02:00

so we're now 8 days into the new year; hope everyone's 2011 is going just as planned - exciting, adventurous, refreshing, etc... mine is going amazingly as i'm still on holiday and i doing what i like, getting back in touch with old mates (many of whom i'd neglected for a year), reading, writing, watching movies, and looking forward to 2 road trips before i start the rigours of work again. why can't i find someone to pay me for this all year??

this post may seem a bit disjointed, but i have a lot going on in my head and i'm using this as my medium (just ur luck!). so to hark back to my old ways a bit, herewith your first top-10 list for 2011. really its more like top-10 things of whats currently on my mind (and in absolutely random order).

10: new years resolutions. the never ending question/ easy icebreaker for the first week of the year. so, how many do you have? or more importantly, how many have you already broken? or, theoretically, do you believe in new years resolutions? i don't really know why this has become a belief over the years; new-agey people are quite famous for the response: "i don't make new years resolutions", or rather, "i don't believe in such things". whether u believe it or not, tough. most people make plans, so whether u do it for a day, week, month, year, etc, chances are you're planning on doing something(s) this year. that, my friend, is a new year's resolution, ka-pish? so i do believe in new years resolutions. so how many have i broken? none!...mainly because in my mind the new years resolution calendar for me hasnt started. still in holiday mode, remember?!

9. new years resolutions(2). mine. i've got quite a few of them actually. i wont mention all of them, but i plan on being more active/sporty. this includes soccer, tennis, squash, cycling, and the occasional gym-ing. i also plan on blogging more regularly (you should expect to see a blog every week...thinking fridays or saturdays or sundays...which means you should be checking this space more often, putting it in your favourites, putting it in your blog feed, etc...). i also plan on resuming my fetish with road trips! the more the merrier. and other resolutions i'll make up as i go along. if you don't have any resolutions, i suggest you check out this list of top 41 places to go in 2011...its inspirational!

http://travel.nytimes.com/2011/01/09/travel/09where-to-go.html?pagewanted=1&nl=todaysheadlines&emc=tha210

8. last years resolutions. i took a look at what my resolutions were in 2010 for shits and giggles, and noticed that i barely got a 50% mark. for those too far removed from school, this means that i barely completed half of what i resolved to do at the beginning of the year. my resolutions included getting my mba (check), enjoying the world cup to the fullest (ok check), being a "man of my words" (ok check), being more disciplined (fail), and doing more outdoors (fail...mostly...tho i did some ultimate frisbee (once) and touch rugby (a few times)). not a whopping success, but im cool with that. just have more to add to my 2011 resolutions.

what a year of african football! i was there!

7. joburg. im finally back to the city of gold, the promised land, the land of flowing honey and butter and malls... so, riddle. how do you know you've arrived in joburg? when u need to go to a mall to do everything that needs to be done (banking, eating, mailing, hair cutting, chilaxing...). you know you've arrived when it rains and all of a sudden you see potholes like never before. you've arrived in joburg when every possible window or door or opening in a house or apt is preceeded by burglar bars. finally, you really know you're in joburg when people show off their beautiful lavish homes with 12 meter tall fences topped by broken glass, topped by electric wiring and fencing, with a private guard and 2 dogs trained to tear human flesh at first sight. then if you manage to step inside the gate, you find yet another set of walls and electric fences and private security system to protect each room of the house. to be fair, on the flip side, you've got some of the friendliest people, the warmest friends, the best places to chill and just hang out. i really love this city!

6. cape town. despite my groanings about this city, i truly believe, in terms of sights and sounds, it is among the 10 or 5 most beautiful places in the world (at least that ive seen). mountains on one side, oceans on the other, driving at sunset, walking on the beach, waking up to see the sunrise on top of a mountain, there's few places better than this. and almost everywhere you go presents a kodak moment.

5. US. i had a very nice christmas here in sa. but i really wanted a white christmas; its been too long since ive seen snow. of course its not all its cracked up to be, but even if you've lived in snow all your life, the sight of fresh snow on the ground (before the snow trucks and the sand and salt) is still an awesome one. like this:

4. sudan. tomorrow, southern sudanese go to the polls to decide on their future. i'm really intrigued by this and i think it will be the beginning of relative peace and progress for the country and the region. it wont be all smoothe and the election probably will have some irreglarities, but i hope and pray that all in all, things go well and southern sudan can soon begin to celebrate its independence and learn to govern themselves in revolutionary and innovative ways and teach africa a thing or two. a lot to ask for, but i've been criticised for being too big of a cynic so heres to trying to regain a bit of my youthful hope-filled days.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-12070034

worth reading. edu-ma-cate urselves.

3. cote d'ivoire. 2 concurrent governments? one being run out of a hotel? head-of-government-turned-tyrant? flawed elections? ignorance of people's will? stubbornness to leave office? failed legacy? return to turmoil? yet another set back? does africa ever learn? more importantly do the dim-witted people that govern many african nations ever learn from the past (note i refuse to call these guys and lads leaders)? what happened to the will of the people? what happened to a government for the people? helping those that cannot help themselves? leading progress and innovation, championing democracy, transparency, and good governance? isnt it past due time for some semblance of credible civil society to rise up?!

2. nigeria. never a dull moment. elections set for april with goodluck, maybe, as the leading candidate?? i'm in no mood for puns, but what a great name, mr. goodluck! in all seriousness plenty is riding on this election. nigeria could have a relatively free and fair election and choose a leader from a region that has never produced a president and that has been largely marginalised even though it provides most of the revenue for the country. or it could go the route of the past and have a shambled election filled with more violence and vote rigging and greed than ever before. obviously there's a lot of grey in between. hoping for the best.

1. look all around; theres nothing, but...newness. more than 3 years into my ubuntu adventures, and im finally sick of my blog template. so it's changed! hope you like it. if you don't lemme know and i may or may not listen to your suggestions. there will be more minor changes to come and i may or may not note them as they come. also important, i'm embarking on a project which may produce other new things this year. more to come on that. be sure to *watch this space*!

Happy YOMU!

2010-12-31T14:46:00.005+02:00

As i write this, i'm sitting at the airport, awaiting what seems too much like the closure of a concluding chapter in this breath-taking city. A closure - it seems or perhaps i hope - to the most challenging year of my life, personally and professionally, to one of the most difficult, distressing and stressful years thus far, and yet, also to my best and most rewarding year so far (they only keep getting better).

So what happened this year to give it such vivid characterisations and what could i possibly be looking forward to next year? the answers to those questions are not as easy as making a wishlist of resolutions and/or annoyances during the year. the last couple of weeks have allowed me the opportunity to reflect on the "year of african football" (YAF) and what i actually gained from it. granted i didn't exactly take every opportunity to reflect during this period, i had to have some fun and relish the ability to step outside of the business school to finally explore the city as well. which i did. the little reflection that i did has led me to some interesting realisations and conclusions - most importantly of which is the need to do more reflection before i get enthralled and enGROSSed in work life (note the added emPHAsis!).

I battled a bit with how to organise this post. was gonna do something like a laundry list of "the goods, bads, and uglies" cuz of course i like lists, but decided against just that. i'm still doing a list of goods bads and uglies, but what i realised is that most things that happened during the year, not unlike any other event, ultimately has good, bad, and ugly sides. so here goes: reflections on the year of the mba.

mba. i'll start with the most obvious.

the good: i got an mba. and in one year. and wrote a thesis that i enjoyed and am actually proud of. i met lots of fascinating people, made lots of connections, and embarked on a handful of what will hopefully be lifelong and diverse friendships. and a few very deep ones too. i'm not gonna mention any names, but i think/hope you know who you are and you know that i truly treasure our relationship and the times we're shared and desperately look forward to much more. not sure if that's what i expected when i started this year, but that's what i got and it's good.
the bad: a bit of a transition year for the school which led to some failures from and disappointments with the staff and faculty. nothing major here.
the ugly: hmm, reaching here...the year did go super fast and hardly had time to breathe. some of the lecturers were ugly too :P

cape town.

the good: the city is seriously one of the most beautiful cities I've seen in the world. and i think i've been to some pretty beautiful cities. sunshine, beach, water, mountains, hikes, swimming (rather dipping my legs in the water!), long drives, nature...i learned the true definition of the term "chill-axing"!
the bad: i was stuck at school most of the time and didn't really get a chance to explore all aspects of the city. but there's always next year...and the year after!
the ugly: as beautiful as the city is, a quick drive to the other side of the mountain shows how depressingly poor it is and the all too vivid divide between the haves and the have-nots. likewise, unfortunately, a quick drive or walk down the street also reminds you of how backward and often racist the city can be as well. those experiences are well documented and i'll leave it at that.

friends (those i had before the YAF).

the good: i couldn't ask for more understanding friends as i have. i told them when i was leaving joburg at the end of last year that i would be pretty MIA for the year. i don't think they believed me. but they quickly learned that i wasnt joking. and ultimately had no hard feelings (well none that i'm aware of anyway). don't worry people, 2011 will be the year of making up (YOMU!..i think; got a good ring to it)
the bad: - see below -
the ugly: too many losses. 2 of my friends passed away unexpectedly this year. One, Dr. LeVine was my mentor from university and the other one, David, a dear friend - one of the very first people i met - in joburg. Dr. LeVine lived a long and well acomplished life and taught me a whole lot. David lived for 27 years, the final 3 battling severe cancer, but made no less of an impact on me. I thought Dr. LeVine's death hit me pretty hard until I found out about David and someone discovered tears and wails and sorrow to a degree i had never experienced within me. attending david's funeral was also difficult. the open casket, ugly. the parents and siblings almost fainting and weeping incessantly, ugly. the mom, constantly begging where they've taken her son and pleading for some miracle, perhaps for him to come back, fully healed (?), ugly. death is ugly. but it doesn't have to remain that way and certainly does not have to be a finality or a conclusion. for David, i'm sure it represented a much needed, even prayed-for, relief and ending to the immense pain and suffering he was going through. For his family and friends, we're left with fond memories and regrets, what ifs and could've beens, and, most importantly, lessons learnt from David's life. in short david lived (and infested others he was close to) with a deep sense of simplicity, a keen love and care for others, and for God. his short 27 years were not a waste. he used them to the fullest. and in the process managed to leave a lasting legacy on those he came in contact with.

family.

the good: my family's always good. kind of! always supportive, helpful, faithful, and certainly never dull!
the bad: - see below -
the ugly: phew, I could spend the next couple posts on this. heh, just joking mom and dad. anyway, in all seriousness there are major things going on in my family that i will not post here, but that have drained my energy, tested my faith, and at times tested my patience and sanity. i feel that more than ever things are piling up and i dont see a clear solution of end in sight. for someone that seeks clarity out of complex and relishes control, this is not good. this year, i believe, was the most trying year in my family since i've known them as family. so if you're a praying person, pray along with me. don't ask what you must pray for because frankly i don't even know. if you're not such a person, try it!

2010. Ke Na Ko!

the good: one of the reasons, if not the reason, that i came to south africa was for the world cup. it came. it was amazing to see some matches and the spirit (gees) brought by all sorts of fans descending on this country, this continent, many for the very first time. I WAS THERE!
the bad: umm...take a look at me grades for that month. yikes...
the ugly: what are we gonna do with the stadiums and costs??

i'm sure there's lots more i could write about, but i think this post (which i started with the clear intention of keeping short and concise) has gone on for long enough. so 2010 was a trying and challenging year in ways that supercede the mba or the classroom or the seminar room. in fact, the mba at times became my refuge - the least of my problems and a place to hide and get away from the real problems in life. but in all my experiences i learned to appreciate life (mine and others), to care more for others and be more keenly involved in the lives of those around me, i learned to keep asking questions and keep seeking answers, to trust and hope, to deal with failure and mistakes and learn and move on, i learned to battle and fight in my search. and im not done learning (still at least 12 hours to go!).

2011. YOMU?!

In the end, i don't think this moment is a concluding chapter; rather part of the opening credits. I look forward to what 2011 has in store and so many more adventures, of the ubuntu-nature or otherwise, to come. i look forward to taking the lessons of 2010 and applying them to the year of making up (YOMU? I'll keep working on that one).

In Kiritimati, it's already 2011, so happy new years guys. To the rest of the world, enjoy your eve and may the new year bring lots of blessings, happiness, fond memories, and of course lasting adventures and unshakable bonds.

feliz navidad

2010-12-25T00:33:00.005+02:00

it's christmas morning and i have three wishes:

1. a tree

2. snow

3. be with family

unfortunately, none of those 3 wishes are gonna come true today, but i will definitely be spending the day with some amazing friends who have become my family here and...well...i have pictures!

in about a week or so, i'll be posting some thoughts on the year, but as I start reminiscing on the year and what i have to be thankful for, i realise that the year has really been a mix of emotions, as many of you know. this year ending is more bittersweet in more ways than any that i've been through. i had many ups (doing my mba, meeting some great people, etc) and many downs (mourning deaths, illnesses, intense drama which shall remain name-less, etc) and many many in-betweens/flat periods. more details to come...

for now, i just want to wish a very merry christmas to everyone out there, especially those that believe in it, and for others an incredible holiday season. christian or not, there's no better time to reflect on what's happened the last year and thank God (or your lucky stars, or the intelligent creator, etc) for whats been good or for lessons you've learned from whats been bad. its as good a time as ever to start looking to the future and expecting even better things to come. its a great time to actually look beyond yourself (you know its not all about u) and see what more you can do for others, which in the end with enrich and bless you in return. i never get sick of the phrase: to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived, this is to have succeeded... yes, a whole year of mba and this is what i've learned.

joyeux noel.

(slightly) more b-obama

2010-11-22T23:46:00.004+02:00

to water your pallets: just wanna give a heads-up that this blog will be experiencing some dramatic and some not-so-dramatic changes in the future...think next year and beyond. so watch this space!

on other news, actually old news. more about what i discussed in the last post. read about how most americans seem to be misinformed and how i firmly believe that obama needs a new spin doctor. or better yet, just communicate to americans with the passion and clarity you once had.

"Frightened by joblessness, the American people rewarded the party that not only opposed the stimulus but also blocked the extension of unemployment benefits. Alarmed by a ballooning national debt, they rewarded the party that not only transformed budget surpluses into budget deficits but also proposes to inflate the debt by hundreds of billions with a permanent tax cut for the least needy two per cent. Frustrated by what they see as inaction, they rewarded the party that not only fought every effort to mitigate the crisis but also forced the watering down of whatever it couldn't block."

~won't the real obama please stand up~

2010-11-13T01:06:00.013+02:00

i realise that obama (lovingly called b-obama in this space, if you recall) has been painfully absent in my blog entries of late. so, to keep from forgetting the forgotten, this entry appears. tho, i guess you can't really call obama the forgotten. he is very well on the hearts and minds of most americans and many many foreigners (e.g. south africans who do not fail to ask me what the next step is for obama or which republican candidate will inevitably unseat him in a couple years). i really feel sorry for the guy, well kind of. obama gets back from his longest overseas trip this week - a trip which saw some successes (india, indonesia) and some dismal failures (no south korea trade agreement and no love at the G20). even more exciting, he goes home to face more questions about the "shellacking" (in his own words) he and his party experienced during the elections a week or so ago.

perusing the www, there is no shortage of articles stating what went wrong, how it can or cannot be fixed, and what obama did or did not do or should or should not do (did you know that democrats are mad at him cuz he doesnt call them or take pics with them and republicans are mad at him cuz he doesnt invite them to golf outings? true stuff!). and maybe its just me and maybe i have a bit of a socialist in me (but really who doesnt, come on...), but i cannot for the life of me understand people's aversion to being insured or having health insurance. yes, it costs the government money when it doesn't have much, but imagine a recession like the one we were just in where millions lost their jobs. what if those guys were not insured or their insurance didn't cover much. now we would have unemployment, a recession, and loads of peeps packing the ERs cuz they can't go for a normal procedure or worse off the elderly and poor dying, unable to treat simple injuries. during massive job losses, the worst thing you want to do is exacerbate that by not having enough social service nets to take care of people that cannot take care of themselves. if the government does not take care of the helpless, what is the role of the government. even more, obama did this w/o raising taxes which almost amounts to magic (aka chinese debt). and don't even get me started with the tea party (actually i know very little about this group as i refuse to even read up on them and their ridiculous tactics). anyway, i digress.

its a rather cool exercise to look at presidents' photos during their tenure to grasp just how much stress and burden the position is. and with 2 wars, a global recession, the fall of the investment banking sector as we know it, and rising unemployment, obama has his fair share of burden and stress i'm sure. so before i close with my 2 cents of what i think obama needs to do to regain his credibility in the eyes of voters, a bit of pictorial digression.

Once upon a time, obama burst unto the show with much fan-fare and promise - a savior almost - looking so fresh n so clean, talking a new kind of politics, a new america.

Then shortly after he won the hearts, minds, and imaginations of the american people, he realised what he had gotten himself into. and the grey hairs and sulken face began to appear.

shame. that's what a shellacking will do to you. look listen and learn, folks! and after all the mudslinging and attempts at "changing washington" (hah!) and more attempts at pleasing the never-happy liberals (i almost think ultra-liberals get off on finding something to complain about, otherwise their existence would be worthless) and the conniving conservatives, what is america's view of the so-called neo-messiah now?

and really i can't blame anyone but obama himself for that assessment...which leads me to my 2 cents.

when obama came unto the screen, he was viewed and appreciated by many, including myself, as the anti-bush, in many ways. here was a figure that was both inspirational and pragmatic. one who inspired others to think larger than themselves and expect more and better from their leaders. a smart and informed president - what a new and refreshing thought in these modern times! well, i think he may have taken that batton so far that he forgot that even as an intelligent and thoughtful, careful president, you still need a human touch (see president clinton). obama has lost that human touch. without which, all best-laid plans and inspirational speeches and attempts to cross party lines becomes moot. maybe, just maybe, the reps are unto something by being upset over no invites to golf outings. now when we see obama, we literally see a man that talks to the audience or often, above the audience, chin raised with a hint of condescendence in his speech - all too reminiscent of the upper-lipped, upper class of upper england. sorry, that just wont cut it in america. take academics for example (or just really bright people); we all love them and appreciate their contributions to society. but who wants to sit there and listen all day to an intelligent person reminding you of his/her intelligence all the time? people (esp. women :P) when they've had a tough day and they're spilling it all to their poor man aren't necessarily looking for answers and solutions, theyre looking for empathy and someone to listen. and though in a president we do want answers and solutions, we do not expect him to all of a sudden forget that there is a human perspective to leadership. and yes, it requires you doing some stupid things sometimes, like playing golf with people and taking time to take photos with others.

b-obama showed this human element many times during his 2008 campaign. he showed anger when he was outraged at the response to katrina for example, he was often calm and collected when speaking of important matters like the global recession, he was thoughtful and brilliant when speaking of matters of race, and he was filled with tears of compassion, grief and mixed emotions when speaking of his late grandmother.

we know the real obama is in there somewhere. let's see it again. many presidents have understood that your agenda means nothing if you dont carry the american people with you or make silly gestures to reach across the aisle. i don't care much for silly gestures (tho, they are a necessary evil), but i believe obama owes the american people a touch of emotion and feel of understanding as he drives his agenda and policy. i fully support what he is trying to achieve, but all of it will be undermined if he cannot take the public with him - whether that is by holding their hands, stooping down to help them or carry them along, lowering his flippin chin, or, yes, even having a beer with a local who's just lost his job.

Happy 50th, Nigeria (better late than never, so shut up!)

2010-11-02T22:22:00.002+02:00

I've often been accused of being a bit slow (u know...up there...) and this post does nothing to de-bunk that. anyway, i've been meaning to post lately and specifically about nigeria's independence party or celebration of its 50th year of independence. so i'm gonna do just that; whether late or not.

when i told a colleague that i was going to a nigerian independence day celebration, he suddenly burst out laughing and demanded to know what in fact we have to celebrate. you should be crying, he jested, not celebrating. at the time, i was a bit offended; afterall, he's from cameroon. how much better are they at governance? this is my country he's making light of! but secretly i could not agree with him more. the half century mark should be something special within any context, most particularly the difficult task of nation building. moreover, by all accounts, this hastily amalgamated country of multiple nations should have failed a long time ago. admittedly, i found very little to celebrate on october 1.

but i kept digging for something, anything, to cling to - to celebrate. as i sat at that independence day ceremony and listened to the guest speaker remind us that the challenges facing nigeria are not unique and the solutions are neither impossible nor new, as i listened to a non-yoruba speaking south africa singing a yoruba song, and as i pondered over the words of the recited poem by a young nigerian girl saying "na dis be nigeria, nothin lesss dan de best..." i started to get it. "it" in this context was what it meant to be nigerian. certainly, arbitrarily drawn lines don't define the country (if it were so, we should have split into hundreds of clans a long time ago). what i got was that what really defines the country are its people. an article in cnn contended that "the real wealth of a country lies in its people and people is one resource that Nigeria has in abundance". i couldn't agree more.

so i decided i was not going to celebrate the country as an entity for lasting 50 years; rather, i would celebrate (and encourage others to celebrate) her people, for thriving for 50 years. Nigeria has produced so many great people that the moment these people, collectively, begin to use their abilities and capabilities in a utilitarian way, the progress of the country will be off the charts. I chose (and choose) to celebrate the Chimamanda Ngozis and Wole Soyinkas and Chinua Achebes for their literary genius, the Obafemi Awolowos and the Nnamdi Azikiwes for their revolutionary and thoughtful political leadership, the Nuhu Ribadus and Babatunde Fasholas for their unabashed political leadership, risking their lives to go against the flow and deliver for the nigerian people, the Chris Abanis for his inspirational leadership, the Ngozi Okonjo-Iwealas and Charles Soludos and Lamido Sanusis for their economic and visionary strength and the list goes on...In virtually all areas of society (academia, civil service, politics, private sector), there has been an influential nigerian making a difference. these are the people i celebrate on independence day - the brilliant, resilient, thriving, passionate, change-seeking, driven people of nigeria. i am proud to be a nigerian.

post-post: i know that there a lots of other nigerian doing lots of great things around the world, in their individual communities. I would like to actually get a database going to keep track of those. If anyone reads this and knows some personal stories about nigerians doing good and doing well anywhere in the world, please email me or leave their names in comments.

filmin' it up, part deux

2010-08-31T12:11:00.004+02:00

i continued to feed my dorky hobby this weekend, by seeing more documentaries. i must admit tho, my goal of seeing one everyday until it ended on sunday didnt quite happen; i missed out on friday and saturday, but made up for it by watching 2 extremely thrilling documentaries back to back on sunday! these 2 films were excellent and both educational and hilarious (in one case). so i continue with my reviews...

RFK in the land of Apartheid - A Ripple of Hope
this film moved me. as many that know me know that i deeply followed the obama campaign and was inspired by the man's life and his ideas, even some of his shortcomings. throughout the campaign i heard about how reminiscent he was of JFK's brother and how his speeches and inspirational nature reminded so many of the sentiment they felt when they listened to robert kennedy. Watching this film made me really understand what people meant by that.

the film recounted RFK's visit, at the invite of NUSAS (National Union of South African Students), to south africa during the dark days of apartheid in 1966. During his time in south africa, he spoke about the similarities between the 2 countries (US and SA) and spoke freely against the regime and for the liberation of the oppressed. this was crucial at the time, as the US govt was at worst friendly to the apartheid regime and doubted the ANC due to its ties with the communist movement (even tho several members of the US congress were speaking out against apartheid). here was RFK, running for president, yet speaking out against the current US and apartheid government policy, meeting those who would be classified today as terrorists, shaking hand with the likes of the banished Chief Albert Luthuli, and marching with ordinary black south africans in soweto and all over the country. His most famous "ripple of hope" speech was delivered in south africa and is still enshrined on his tombstone where he was laid almost exactly 2 yrs after his sa visit. RFK inspired generations:

"the essential humanity of man can be protected and preserved only where the government must answer - not just to the wealthy; not just to those of a particular religion, not just to those of a particular race; but to all of the people"

"Yet many of the world's great movements, of thought and action, have flowed from the work of a single man. A young monk began the Protestant reformation, a young general extended an empire from Macedonia to the borders of the earth, and a young woman reclaimed the territory of France. It was a young Italian explorer who discovered the New World, and 32 year old Thomas Jefferson who proclaimed that all men are created equal. "Give me a place to stand," said Archimedes, "and I will move the world." These men moved the world, and so can we all. Few will have the greatness to bend history; but each of us can work to change a small portion of the events, and in the total of all these acts will be written the history of this generation. Thousands of Peace Corps volunteers are making a difference in the isolated villages and the city slums of dozens of countries. Thousands of unknown men and women in Europe resisted the occupation of the Nazis and many died, but all added to the ultimate strength and freedom of their countries. It is from numberless diverse acts of courage such as these that the belief that human history is thus shaped. Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring those ripples build a current which can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance"

The power of One...

The Yes Men Fix the World
The film was on a lighter note, tho no less meaningful. these 2 american pranksters travel the globe impersonating executives from top companies (exxon mobil, dow chemicals, etc) in hopes to expose some of the real issues and attrocities that these companies (and other free market enthusiasts) have been perpetrating over the years. they managed to set up fake websites and pretty much wait for people to contact them to speak at events or conferences. for example, they appeared on bbc, impersonating a spokesman from dow chemicals to announce that the company would be compensating the victims of the 1984 Bhopal toxic gas explosion to the tune of several billion. the stock for dow fell some $2 billion in 20 minutes! and they were accused of raising false hopes of the bhopal people (ill come back to this just now). interestingly enough, they were never jailed for these hoxes; i think their trick was to ensure that it was done publicly, so that if the company tried to sue them, it would only serve as continued PR backlash.

back to the raising false hopes. give me a flippin' break. exxon blows us a community, never takes responsbility for its actions, sees the still very real effects of the explosion in bhopal today and does NOTHING and has the balls to accuse someone of pretending that the company would actually do what is right?? the different scale in the value of human life continues to baffle me. a few months ago, bp let out its oil on the gulf of mexico, a few sea turtles, seagulls, and maybe one dolphin died and bp was hit with a bill of $34billion with lots more billions coming in the form or civil lawsuits. yet nothing is done in the case of something like the bhopal explosion or closer to home shell draining its oil excretions on the rivers of the niger delta and poisoning most wildlife and most of the hundreds of thousands of inhabitants who's sole diet is fish and now survive by eating fish with insides full of black petroleum. this is the same shell that was complicit in the government hanging of 9 civil rights activists, including ken saro-wiwa and decided after decades of fighting to settle the lawsuits with a mere couple hundred dollars per family affected. the value placed on human life by other human beings and by legal and governmental systems sickens me.

anyway, back to the (truly hilarious) story, these guys conclude that in the end, they didn't really change the world as they set out to. As the film ends, they realise that they have not been successful in changing the hearts and minds of big business and encouraging/ forcing them to do what is right with regard to the communities in which they operate. they are encouraged, however by the fact that their efforts, at least, has alerted these companies to the fact that people are watching them and that more people (thanks to the documentary) are aware of what these companies are doing today. The power of one (+one)...

so therein lies the conclusion of my week of documentary watching. truly an educational and entertaining experience. it was not always easy to convince people to join me in my adventure (in fact one day i had to watch a film alone; i hate/dread/despise watching films by myself!), but mostly i think those i dragged along enjoyed it. edu-ma-cate yo-sef!

filmin' it up

2010-08-27T12:51:00.003+02:00

After i handed in an assignment literally 4 minutes before it was due on monday night, i decided that for the rest of the week, i would find a way to treat myself. and i think i have, even tho i can't seem to get other excited about it...so since tuesday, i've been enjoying the 12th annual south african internation documentary film festival (encounters.co.za). yes, call me a geek or dork or lame (i can take it), but i tend to enjoy docu's. they are not only entertaining at times, but they teach you a lot about different things and different perspectives. so, i've seen one every night since tuesday (i saw 2 on tuesday night actually) and im planning on continuing this trend until sunday. nevermind that i don't have the money or the time for this kind of venture, i'm treating myself to a well deserved interim break! here are some thoughts on some of the films i've seen so far:

Here Be Dragons
this docu is about a white civil rights attorney, George Bizos; an icon in the struggle against apartheid. George is greek by birth and has represented countless ANC-ers as well as those crucial struggle icons, including the family of steve bantu biko (at the TRC), winnie mandela (multiple times), nelson mandela and others at the rivonia trials, and plenty others who fought for freedom and justice, of all different races. His story is truly inspirational and emotional and he does little to hide his emotions during the film and in his work. His decision to pull out of the truth and reconciliation commission (as the appointed counsel opposing amnesty grants for perpetuators of the previous regime) truly highlights the issues i hear every now and then about the shortcomings of the TRC. he recalls that he was simply sick to his stomach watching people conjure up excuses, blamiing indefensible dead people, and faking half-assed apologies and getting off scot-free from crimes they'd committed. Is this justice?

One of the other bright spots in the film was archbishop desmond tutu (among other dignitaries filmed celebrating birthdays with George). tutu was his usual bright, jovial, and child-like self when describing the truly transformational and inspiration figure of George. he says, watching him during th erivonia trials, you felt like you could give him an oscar for his performance.

On a slightly negative note, the film was a bit confusing at times and could've used a narrator. It also had superfluous information and clips were shown that didn't seem to fit the film. however, the film ended beautifully taping george as he was recognised for his latest book. in his speech, george says (not verbatim):
...people often thank me for the work that i've done over the years, but it is i who need to thank south africa for allowing me to understand that we are not intrinsically different peoples depending on our race, but that we are all part of one race - the human race. Thank you, south africa for allowing me to reach my fulfillment.

Forgotten Gold
This one is about Mulamba Ndaye. Have you heard of him?? No, you probably haven't. And its a shame. Mulamba is from DRC (Zaire) and holds the record for most goals scored (ever) at the African Nations Cup (9) in 1974, when Zaire went on to win the tourney. Till this day that record has not been broken. A few years later, he got caught up in some politics and had to flee the country. He's been living since in exile in south africa, mostly as a car guard (the guy that stands next to your car when you're eating dinner and "watches" it in hopes of a R5 tip at the end of the night). The story was very inspirational and at the end i got to meet and shake hands with the old man himself.

However, the film, i don't think, was very well made. It was also a bit confusing as it kept moving from past to present with little cohesion. and the storyline was lost on me several times. overall tho, the film must be praised, like the others, for highlighting human lives and experiences that we should know about, but don't.

Thembi
this is one about a vocal south african girl who died of aids in 2009. she is one of a very few south africans who was bold enough to talk openly about her HIV status and try to de-mystify it(actually one of the pioneers). great story, but in the end, she dies as a result of her not continuing with her medication. the film doesnt really go too much into this, but i suspect she was overwhelmed with the sudden "stardom" and also the constant realisation that she would have to take these mountains of drugs for the rest of her life.

the bad part: brilliant film, but again the point of it was lost on me. yes, people should be able to talk more openly about these issues and not risks being teased or ostracised or beaten, but i dont think that goes far enough. i kept asking myself, so what? thembi went all over south africa and to the US in her campaign, but what exactly was she campaigning for. I'm still not sure. was it for the use of condoms? or for abstinence? or for women's rights to be empowered to ask their man to use a condom? the film doesnt really help in this regard. and then she died. whats her legacy and why was her campaign important. what lives on? the audience is left with too many questions.

The gardner and his 21 flowers
this film is about a zambian man who essentially runs an orphanage from his small home/farm. only thing is that the orphans are the children of his dead relatives (mostly sisters) from AIDS. William, the gardner, barely has anything, only his garden where he grows fruits and vegies and tries to keep out monkeys who often come to destroy his crops. from this (and the small rats the children catch) he must feed feed the 21 and hope to have some left over so he can sell to the locals and buy some meat every once in a while, or pay for schooling, or school clothes, etc. the family is obviously poor and receives no grants or assistance from the government but the film shows a family clearly rich in love for each other. my question: what is the role of government if it is not to provide for those like william and his family, who cannot provide for themselves. in the course of the film we witness some deaths in the family, due to curable illness like malaria and severe malnutrition in most of the children (from the protruding bellies). one girls says she sometimes wishes she was dead, so that she wouldnt be so hungry. my guess is that its not only sometimes.

this story is not unique to william, but rampant all over the world, particularly in africa. first instinct is to be sad, next is to be angry at government's inaction and corrupt ways, but i think finally we realise that the idea here is to do what we can with what we have. "to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived, this is to have succeeded."

the good side of humanity

2010-08-14T19:10:00.003+02:00

if there's one thing i'm learning this year, it's definitely the art of procrastination. but, i am a consultant, so perhaps i should come up with a better phrase for it. in fact, what i am doing is "embarking on a brief, but critical mental holiday, with the purpose of re-energising my mind for the rigours of immediate future." [currently patting myself on the back for coming up with that one on the fly]. hence, while i should be freaking out about the 30 page research proposal that's due on monday (of which i've already written close to 0 pages), i am embarking on this necessary journey to post another blog entry.

interestingly, this post is quite the opposite of the previous one. While I lamented the derth of human intelligence, decency, and progression in my last post, this one seeks to celebrate humanity and those who have made it possible. Credit for this inspiration must go to a friend for sending me the video. The video below is of a nigerian/brit named Chris Abani. Chris was born in nigeria, emigrated to the UK, and now lives and teaches in the US. He was jailed and put on death row 3 times, starting from age 16, by the then military regime in nigeria, for supposedly inciting a coup. no comment. so, one would expect that after his adventurous life in the dungeon of nigeria's prisons, he would come out speaking passionately about the dangers of authoritative regimes and the loss of hope in people. quite the contrary. time and again, when i hear similar stories of men and women being jailed or tortured unnecessarily or for doing good (people like mandela, chris abani, countless freedom fighters...), i always expect them to think the least of humanity and am ultimately surprised and inspired by their incredible hope for humanity and continued trust in the goodness of people.

i leave with some touching quotes from chris as well as a challenge.

the challenge: to seek out moments and people that, as chris says, "offer all of us a mirror to our own humanity". that is, people who despite hardships, see the good in others and strive to leave the world a better place through singular, non-recorded acts of kindness and dignity. my mother comes to mind with her strength, courage, deep concern and love for others, incessantly placing others' well-being before her own. i'm reminded of grace nyanga of uganda. of cody dye. of matt and melanie chandler. i think these everyday people should be those from which we get our inspiration. the challenge is to seek these people and these moments out. and to record them. tell their stories.

amazing quotes:

"The world is never saved in grand messianic gestures, but in the simple accumulation of gentle, soft, almost invisible acts of compassion - everyday acts of compassion."

"You can steel your heart against any king of trouble or horror, but the single act of kindness from a complete stranger will un-stitch you."

"Before the genocide in Rwanda, the word for 'rape' and the word for 'marriage' was the same word; today women are re-building Rwanda."

"If you cry like this every time, you'll get a heartbreak; just know that it is enough sometimes to know that it is difficult."

The world, our lives, are filled with "amazing people who offer all of us a mirror to our own humanity".

whiter than white

2010-07-24T16:53:00.003+02:00

i just realised and have become overwhelmed with the amount of work i shouldve done and need to do for this week...so instead of doing that i decided to go into panic mode and update this blog instead of actually doing work. strange??? me thinks not.

sometimes i just start writing blog entries and then come up with a suitable title afterward. this time i did it the reverse, which means that i now have to try to fit what i want to write about to the title. i had an experience last weekend that really bothered me, stirring up emotions that i hadn't felt in quite some time. i think it still bugs me; so i'm now writting it down. whether or not it helps, who knows.

when i speak of my experience in mississippi (deep south US), I'm typically a little negative in my tone and i generally speak of that not being the most ideal first impression to get of the US. Coming from a place where I knew nothing of discrimination and racism, it was such a slap in the face and key first-hand lesson, to see racism clearly at work. and what was even more striking: racism within blacks. in fact, i encountered an overwhelmingly greater sense of racism and ignorance amongst blacks than i did amongst whites. [till today, i maintain that almost everyone, if not everyone, of every race and culture, holds some degree of racism and must learn to deal with it...tho plenty disagree with me].

Anyway, after my initial shock living in mississippi, I quickly forgot about those moments as i had much better and friendlier times in st louis and chicago. living in south africa has been another learning experience; but one that hasn't really bothered me too much as i understand that the country is enterring a period of growing pains. of course, occassionally i get stopped and harrassed at the airport for being nigerian, or followed in the book store by a black guard to ensure i dont steal any books or read that one book about black liberation that im not supposed to, i presume. usually, these things dont bother me. i just smile and nod and occassionally make a snide remark to the guard, or border control, or whoever.

last weekend, i was showing a high school friend of mine (who happens to be white) around cape town. a bit of context is key here: black (at least those in joburg) typically say they like cape town, but could never live here because its often so racist and unwelcoming. i've never believed these allegations completely. I mean, sure, cape town, isn't the most welcoming place; even white foreigners complain of how difficult it is to assimilate into the culture and find close friends, but the onus of relationship building rest on both parties equally. Also, I guess i wasn't really trying to assimilate to 'cape town' culture, whatever that is, so i couldnt be bothered. anyway, i deviate. point is: cape town can be a racist place. so can anywhere. oxford, mississippi was definitely a racist place (at least in 1992-94).

so i take my friend out to a bar/lounge in greenpoint, Jade's, and the bouncer guy refuses to let us in. He makes up some story about the night being dead (obviously not true, as we can see people in the lounge) and therefore he couldnt let us in. Regardless, I simply wanted to show him a cape town hangg out spot, stay for like 30min and then leave. While I'm trying to understand this guy's rationale, large groups of girls walk straight in, no questions asked. later, a group of guys walk up and in, few questions asked. one small detail: everyone who's walked in so far are white. so again, i ask mr. bouncer guy whats the deal. immediately out of nowhere, this dude starts using the n-word. btw, this dude is not american and while i've heard the n-word passed around lifelessly here in SA, it bothers me a lot because people dont know the meaning of what theyre saying and just use the word. there's a similar derogatory term used here in sa, the k-word, but if u even dare use the word in jest, ur as good as dead. but this guy continued to use the n-word, and began to raise his voice and essentially bark at me and my friend, as we're walking away from this ignorant fool. best of all, this guy was black. and ignorant. and racist. flashes of mississippi.

i thought i could just pass this on as another annoying moment in the span of many annoying moments, but i realised later, when i couldnt sleep, that it really bothered me, and, at the time, i wasnt sure exactly why. later, i was chatting to a friend who used to go to this lounge all the time. he mentioned that this same bouncer dude had done the same thing to him when he brought 2 black girls with him; i.e. make up some story about why he couldnt let them into the bar. this guy actually comfronted him about his actions being racist and the bouncer dude just shrugged it off. this guy, like myself, will never step foot in this lounge again.

so why the title. so often when someone utters the word racism or racist we immediately think of a white person doing something to a black person. i think it has become fashionable these days for a black person to outdo white counterparts with regard to racist actions. but since theyre black, and believe that it is impossible for them to be racist, they somehow justify their actions to themselves. however, these people (whether the bouncer guy or the guy following black people in stores, or the police officer racially profiling) want to justify their actions, it is utterly and totally racist, no matter what colour you are. And how are blacks to move beyond and ahead if we continue to mimick and perpetuate the racist actions done to our own kind in the past? I'm not sure i would have been as angry if a white person had denied entry because of the colour of my skin. but for a black person to mimick the same action? thats just another level of disgusting.

i hope the title is not taken to imply that i think white people are racist in general. thats not my point. in fact, as i mentioned, i think most of us have elements of racism within us and the sooner we recognise this, we can develop ways to correct it. while ignorance may be bliss, it is also the surest way to stagnation and backward-thinking. my point, i guess, is that we, as black people, and south africa, as a nation (US could also be included here) are going nowhere, if people within the same race can't even be solid in their stance against racism. i dare that idiot of a bouncer to complain if he is stopped by the police while driving for no reason other than that he is black. how can you complain about an institution when you are part and parcel in perpetuating the same system/mode of thinking?

thats it for my rambling. will try to lighten up the next post.

football and foolishness

2010-06-05T15:31:00.010+02:00

2 completely unrelated subjects, but as i am currently shirking studying for midterms, i'll attempt to tackle both in my usual highly opinionated, kinda-sorta based on facts, and ultimately educated manner.

first, foolishness. i'm not liking some of the disturbing stories coming out of nigeria; well its not like stories out of nigeria are typically positive, but heading up to general election next year, i can't help but start feeling anxious for the country and looking out for signs of issues that might surface. 2 stupid events: 1; last week, the senate approved a 100% salary increase for government officials, including themselves of course. 100%!! give me a flippin' break. this is in a country where 70% of its citizens lay in poverty (less than $2 a day), a country where physicians, teachers, police officers, the most average (olu)joe(seph) (ngozi) slo is not being paid nearly enough to take care of his or her family. but of course, congress felt like they needed to reward themselves for all the hard work they have been doing the last 11 years (um, when was the last piece of significant legislation passed?). according to one bright official, the increase is needed to attract more qualified civil servants to political posts. give me a flippin' break (did i say that already?)! when did nigerian politicians (and most politicians around the world actually) forget that politics is about civil service; helping those that cannot help themselves and improving the lives of those who supposedly elected them. unfortunately too often the politics game is about what have i done for myself and my cronies lately. shame.

2nd event: related to cronies. an article came out about political thugs belonging to a candidate for deputy governor beating up a journalist. apparently attacks against journalist has been on the rise lately. and these thugs are employed by the politicians themselves. in case any one is disillusioned to thinking things have changed over the years in nigeria from before indepedence in 1960, you'll be happy to know that this practice of hiring thugs (official thugs) began well before independence. I was first indtroduced to this phenomenon by my late mentore, Dr. Le Vine (see previous post) who worked and studied in different parts of west africa during the spate of independence (late 50s and 60s). He told me that they were looking at some of the books (accounts) of the political parties and they kept noticing a funny line item in all of them. I believe the line item read something like OPT (not completely sure about that). after pondering what this might mean and coming up with nothing (other than "optional" perhaps), they decided to ask one of the party members. They found out the OPT stood for "Official Party Thugs". I kid you not. These were typically young men that they hired to carry out thuggish activities against other parties and individuals as a means of intimidation. and they put this expense on their books! i wonder if they got any kind of tax exemption for that?! 50 years on and the activities remains alive and vibrant. political parties still send out their thugs to intimidate journalists, other party members, and even civilians at the voting poll stations. in order to have any kind of credible elections (a goal the distinguished mr. goodluck jonathan has set out for his presidency), this issue of hiring thugs must be seriously dealt with. and please, lets stay away from amnesty. thugs must be punished, whether they are primary school thugs or football thugs or political party thugs.

speaking of football...what i really wanted to write about in this entry is football. and world cup 2010. I can FEEL it; It is HERE! I am here! I'm starting to get the feeling of a major event coming to south africa. an event i've been anticipating for the last 5 years, since the announcement was made that it would be held in south africa. apparently cape town is slow to getting excited about events like this. so when i went out today to get some pics of a city anticipating a massive and amazing event, this is all i got:

and here's a view of the stunning stadium where i will be watching at least 3 matches!

meanwhile in joburg...apparently the festive feeling has been crazy immense in joburg for a while now. why did i decide to leave joburg again??? Flags are flying everywhere, huge footballs are floating ubiqutously, signs and posters are pasted everywhere, cars are decorated to the fullest, etc. you cant even take 2 steps in the airport without being immersed in the world of football, african style. can you tell im looking forward to this??

here are some pics i was sent by a friend showing some of the excitement in joburg:

my only regret: i won't get to go to a match in what i believe is the most stunning stadium in south africa, the Moses Mabhida Stadium in lovely durban:

finally, there are some pseudo-academic work out there which describe soccer as having an added effect of bringing people together over the years. In fact, one of my favourite books is one called "How soccer explains the world". sounds funny, but the premise is undeniable. Warring and disputing countries have often come together through a soccer match; political deals have been done at football stadiums' box seats; and more importantly, individuals have come together on the pitch realising that they have more in common that their greedy political leaders would like them to believe at times. Cheesy as it may, I'm hoping that this happens with south africa and other countries during this world cup. south africa is a young democracy with lots of issues. but to see the rugby championship held in soweto township last weekend and hard core whites laughing and drinking with hard core blacks and indians and mixed people and no one worrying about differences in melanin was inspiring. the 1995 rugby world cup was inspiring in how it brought the nation together. soccer world cup 2010 has a potential to do the same, if we let it. the immediate problems in south africa may not be as visible as they were in 95 when folks expected the country to disintegrate into civil war, major issues still exist and are apparent (even if beneath the surface). football will not solve those issues, and hopefully it will also not be used to gloss over issues and sweep them even further into the carpet. the hope is that this will be a reminder that this is truly a remarkable country in africa (yes, south africa is an african country, dammit!), a rainbow country that is defined by different cultures and backgrounds and experience, and hopefully ultimately a country that embraces those differences, and more importantly celebrates those differences...together.

and to the rest of the countries, we can take a breather from the sorry state of economies, work experiences, debt crises, oil spills, political kak, for a month, before we go back to reality. Personally, I will be forgetting about the fact that i'm studying for a month, before going back to the reality of finals the week after!

Dr. Victor Le Vine

2010-05-26T23:13:00.002+02:00

Last week I found out that my college mentor passed away. Since then, I've been putting off posting anything, especially about the man, even though I've started several posts. Even now, I'm not sure I know what I want to say or if it'll make any sense. Dr. Le Vine was pretty old, so while his death was not particularly premature, it was nonetheless stunning and it hurt. When something like this happens, it makes you really consider a lot of things about your life and forces you to ask some tough questions. For me, it was questioning what I'm doing here (in business school, in cape town, in south africa...), while so much is happening elsewhere (at home, with my friends, in the world....). It made me regret, very much, not making more of an effort to see him when I last went home to st louis. I called a couple times and he didn't pick up. I got so used to thinking I'll see him next time I'm around for a longer stretch of time. Now there will be no next time and I don't remember too much how we even left off the last time i saw him about a year ago; what we chatted about. I do remember reaching out to give him a firm handshake and him reaching out to me and dragging me in for a tight hug. I'm gonna miss the man.

Dr. Le Vine was a mentor, in the truest sense of the word. Not many people know that even before I finished my first year at university, I was busy completing my application to transfer to another school in chicago. I don't remember all that was going on in my mind that first year, but i remember it being a tough year, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. I think i was carrying immense guilt and shame and felt unsatisfied going to a school that wasn't even my first choice. It was as I was completing the transfer application, that I met Dr. Le Vine. I remember walking to his first lecture on 'international conflict and conflict resolution' and thinking it would be yet another anglophone political scientist hell-bent on africa returning to colonial times (yes, there're lots of those out there still). As he called the roll on the first day, he stopped at my name. This wasn't too unusual as lots of teachers had a hard time pronouncing my full name, and as I started to speak to put him out of his misery, he also began to sound out the full name. To my surprise he worked through my full name and actually pronounced it as it should be. Now this may seem petty or not a big deal to some, but i was intrigued cuz i had by then lived in the states for over 10 years and in that time no one had ever got my name right on the first try (tho i think its pretty simple!).

Intrigued, i thought i should get to know more about this man. After finding out that he was an africanist, with expertise in all sorts of areas regarding history and political science including african history, constitution building, nation building, governments, corruption, etc, I decided to ask him to be my mentor and to study under him. I soon found out that in order to do the kind of study I proposed, the student had to achieve a certain grade point average or above. Since I didnt have this gpa, i decided the best thing to do would be to act like the requirement didnt exist and see what happens. As it turns out, he agreed to do an independent study with me on Nigerian politics, culture, and government. I later asked him why he decided to take me on as a student, and he admitted that I did not meet the academic requirements, but there was a drive and passion he saw in me that made him want to be my advisor. More than anything else, having Dr. Le Vine as my mentor made me decide to stay at the washu and ultimately made my entire college experience worthwhile and complete.

So Dr. Le Vine started as my professor, turned into my advisor, and later became a mentor and friend. The lessons he taught me were invaluable. Not only about nigeria, but about life, about how to approach problems, about how to reach out and grab your dreams, about how to never give up, and how to always give back. Dr. Le Vine emigrated from germany at a time when the US was decidedly anti-semitic (so afraid were his parents that they decided to alter their surname slightly so as to not look jewish), and built an amazing life for himself. He was constantly being called on by former students to give talks at their institutions or in their classrooms, he was regularly commissioned to the white house to advise on international conflicts and african affairs, he was regularly called on to give his opinions in editorials and to publish books. The man really achieved a lot in his life, but when we talked , he didn't talk about his books or his paper, he always wanted to know what I was up to and if I was keeping on the path to achieving the dreams that he once saw in me. I was always eager to talk about his previous students and the amazing work theyre doing all over the world. I came across this in an article written about him in the local newspaper:

"He is remembered as an enthusiastic mentor of students and as a great colleague to faculty across campus."

I was home shortly before he passed away and i didn't get a chance to see him. I hope you rest in peace, Dr. Le Vine. and i mean that in a more sincere way than i have ever. the way in which you touched the lives of those around you is exactly how i want to live and be remembered. I used to joke that I hope he leaves me some of his massive collection of books; in reality, what he has left behind is something much less tangible and so much more valuable. Full of hope, love, knowledge, care, and wisdom, Dr. Le Vine sought out to bring the best out of people, and out of the world around him.

I'll miss you sorely.

inspiration

2010-03-19T21:14:00.005+02:00

who inspires you? this question was posed in one of my classes today and although I had thought over this question many times prior, I could not immediately come up with a response. so i thought I would ponder on it some more and perhaps jot down some of my thoughts later. so after my ponderifi-cation-ing, here goes...

there's a saying ive never been able to forget since i was introduced to it and i tend to carry it with me wherever i go. it seems ubiquitous, particularly in all my decisions and thoughts. after attributing success to ones ability to laugh, be respected, appreciate beauty, and earn appreciation, emerson concludes that "to know one life has breathed easier because you have lived; this is to have succeeded." I can think of no more precise and poignant way to define success.

so because I value this principle in my life, i tend to look for it in others as well and examine my admiration of them through the lenses of emerson.
1. james joseph. a former US ambassador to SA. he's also the mentor of the lecturer of this course and came to speak to the class a few weeks ago. The story of this man is truly touching. during his life, he has been intimitely involved in 2 major struggles (apartheid and civil rights), met countless adversities, seen promises become lies, watched many african countries cheerfully gain their independence only to quickly fall back into something of a neo-colonialism with tyrannical and nonsensical 'leaders'. And yet the man is full of more hope than the hope-monger himself. I asked him why so much hope and his response is "what else do you have but hope". You see, in addition to all the shit he's been through, he's also experienced some unexplainable and glorious wonders. he's seen the apartheid dragon slain and freedom donned upon all south africans; he seen integration of black students to public schools in the US; he's seen population being liberated from years of oppression and their voices freed; he's seen the election of a black president when few thought it was possible. he's left an undoubted legacy, not only on the international sphere with his diplomatic efforts, but also (and i'll dare to say probably more importantly) he's left a lasting impact on the lives of the individuals he's touched - one being my lecturer.

2. Matt and Melanie Chandler. I haven't spoken to these guys in a long time now and i miss them immensely. i wrote about them sometime last year or so. this is the couple i used to work with in inner city st louis, mentoring, teaching, coaching, and having fun with kids in the community. this young couple gave ALL they had to the ministry of helping the kids and trying to make a difference in their lives - lives often absent of much hope. They endured countless physical, emotional, and spiritual pain in their work, but they simply carried on with enthusiasm and love. the kids and myself have them to thank for the lasting impact they've left on our lives.

3. mom and dad. this has kind of become so cliche these days that i almost hesitated to put them on the list. but thats just ridiculous. mom and dad are perhaps the most faith-full people i've ever known. and thats an extremely good thing, because I'm often grateful that at times when my faith and hope is slipping, theyre always good for some spare faith and hope or to simply carry the load with me. additionally, my dad inspires me through his life story. It seems like he had a lot of different ways he could take with his life and career, but his no 1 goal has always been to care for and love my mom and to care for and love (in his own way) his kids (us). any other ambitions came first. i'll be the first to admit to being an incredibly selfish person. im on this mba to better myself and *my* job prospects, etc. i need a bit of the humility and sacrifice of my father in me. my mom. i'm not quite sure that my dad's natural instinct was to show love and care for his kids, but i think what he's learnt over the years, he's learnt from my mother. and its served him well. enough about him; more about me. i've also learned the undeniable value of appreciation, care, love, and the art of hugging from my mom. people that meet her instantly fall in love with her personality and her brightness (i.e. her luminous smile and disposition). ive got a lot still to learn from her.

staying on family for a moment. i've said many times that i view family not only as blood relations, but also people that are very close to you and that share a lot of your life with you (and vice versa). lately, ive begun to realise just how much i value family. moreover, while my 'family' in south africa have been incredible, i find something pulling inside me, longing for closeness with my blood family. though i speak to most of them occasionally on the phone and on-line, im not sure i can continue placing a high value on it without actually taking steps to ensure that i show them how much i value them. that being said, im not sure what i will do about it or what i can do, but the idea and goal is to begin aligning my actions with my values. wish me luck.

back to the original topic...the people that i've mentioned earlier are only a few that have inspired me by making my life (and many other people's lives) breathe easier because they have lived. in the words of chicago (the band), they've brought meaning to my life...theyre my inspiration.

3 weeks in and really??

2010-02-21T00:17:00.002+02:00

those that i talked to prior to starting the mba programme told me that this one year programme would be hectic with a lot of work and little time for much else.

what they failed to mention was just how diverse and interesting the people would be. admittedly, i was a bit anxious starting the programme. i feared it would be something similar to my undergraduate business school, full of cocky people who apparently loved the sounds of their own voices and couldn't seem to wait to start that hotshot job on wall street. ok not all of them, some of them are very good friends of mine; but generally, this was the feeling i got.

so my biggest fear coming in was that most people here would be like that, only this time it would be the johannesburg stock exchange and not wall street. but ive been absolutely pleasantly surprised at the quality and diversity of people here. there's still a bit of colour missing in terms of diversity, but in terms of life, world, and career experience and future aspirations, guys/gals are as different as they come. there are former actors, marketers, bomb makers/engineers, psychologists, insurance people, trusty IT consultants etc. also people from london, nigeria (not named me), turkey, some country in south america that ive honestly never heard of, botswana, south africa (surprising enough), US (really really surprising), canada (wha??), cameroon, italy, argentina, angola, etc. and even better, ive met an amazing number of people with similar aspirations to work in african development. imagine that: mba-ers doing good work! i like the sound of that. plus, most of them are wayyy more optimistic than i am about making a difference. maybe i can get my mojo back!

on a more serious note tho...wonder what would happen if more mba-ers were interested in helping ordinary people do extra-ordinary things. imagine ambitious people with management skills running NGOs and government organisations and non-profits and community organisations and making policy. would that be a better world? not saying only mba-ers can do a good job, but it seems like a good time for mba-ers to remake ourselves from the cocky bastards that speculate on currencies and bet on bad loans to cocky bastards that attempt to help those who cannot help themselves and leave the world a better place that how we met it. i know of at least one school thats trying to build such leaders.

mba begins

2010-01-31T22:31:00.002+02:00

so this weekend marked the first few days of my mba programme at uct. ive still got a lot of issues to sort out logistically, but i'm trying to not let it bug me down and just enjoy my time. i don't really have a lot to say, so i'm gonna limit myself to 2 points. one is an administrative matter and the other more interesting:

1. administrative point. unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately; depends on ur point-of-view), i will not be updating this blog as frequently anymore. although, some may argue that i wasnt posting that often anyway. anyway, with school getting under way, I'll probably at best be able to post only about once a month or whenever something extremely interesting happens. i dont think many people really wanna hear about how i spent my days at the library and making some group presentation, etc.

2. more interesting point. these last 2 days,we've had a brief orientation into our professional development course, and its been extremely interesting. ok, maybe before i wouldve dismissed it as way-too-soft skills and airy fairy stuff. but i think its different now, cuz im in an environment thats new, exciting, and different, requiring that incredibly diverse and strong people and personalities get to know each other quickly and work together and perform well. the 2 days was filled with a lot of introducing yourself and doing some weird and crazy icebreakers and learning how to develop relationships within teams that we'll be working with all year. one of the things that struck me, so positively, is how many people within this class who are actually doing the programme to make a difference in their communities. and im not talking about the kinda difference i was making with accenture - helping rich people get richer - rather, life changing, social status-uplifting changes, from small initiatives to ruling the world and changing it for the better. lots of these were lofty (perhaps unachievable) goals (like the kinds i have!), but it was so cool to know that people are actually thinking of such things (other than me). i hope to meet every single one of them and together go out and change the world. So that, in the words of my favourite economist, the future can say of our generation that "we sent forth mighty currents of hope, and we worked together to heal the world"

on to the mother city

2010-01-24T23:42:00.003+02:00

the first blog i ever posted on this site, i believe was called "welcome to the motherland" or something like that (i could simply check, but i dont wanna...). well, now ive moved from the motherland to the mother city. i arrived in cape town tonight (its called the mother city, im not sure exactly why, and i could look it up but i dont wanna...).

so today begins yet another chapter of my life. ive been working and traveling and enjoying my time in joburg for the last 2 years and now its time to hunker down for a year and remember what it feels like to be a student again. I'm starting my mba course at the end of this week. in between, i need to sort out a lot of things including finding a place to stay...

recently, the prevailing question has been if i'm excited or if i can't wait. hmm, i think if i had time to consider it i would say im very excited. and definitely when i landed here today, i couldn't help but feel good about starting another chapter in my life. of course i was sad because i realllly love joburg and ive met some extremely amazing people (some of who threw me a suprise going away party that didnt quite turn out to be a surprise...its the thought that counts. thanks guys1). i also have to fight the feeling of frustration and worry as i try to get everything sorted before i start the programme. all of which gives me little time to actually reflect what's going on. at the airport today, a friend commented in passing that what ive been talking about since he met me (literally a couple days after i got to joburg) is finally happening. the truth is ive been considering this school think in sa even before i graduated university. so given that context, its really something to be very excited about. its finally happening. its here. i'm here!

a couple people, i think sensing my worry and anxiety, have been reminding me not to forget to have fun. i think that's truly a valuable life lesson. sometimes we tend to take ourselves too seriously. in fact, most times we do. if there's one thing that should be learned before we die, its to not forget to enjoy ourselves, to have fun. i think this will be a tough year; a demanding year; a rewarding year; a year of significant growth; and most importantly, a fun year!

Haiti - my thoughts and prayers go out to all Haitians. I commend all the organisations helping out there...wish I could be part of it.

2010-01-15T17:56:00.003+02:00

Sawubona - I see you

2010-01-15T11:32:00.009+02:00

I'm taking a break from my recent serious-ness topics and top 10 topics to discuss a movie in a...well...serious, yet not so serious manner.

Avatar

I keep talking to my artsy type friends about this movie and they don't seem to like it that much. and then others like it basically for the 3D effects, etc. I'm going on record to say that i thought it was a brilliant movie. Granted, it's a cliche story. yes, its been done many times in different forms. sure, the acting/dialogue left plenty to be desired. but i think its a story that cannot be told enough times. or rather, a story that needs to be told in more interesting ways, suitable to both adults and children, that tell of some of the atrocities and hawkishness that not only abound 400 years ago, but still remain today.

*********side note*********
i think i enjoyed this movie also cuz the scientist reminded me of my dad who used to work with plants from the amazon forest to try to extract nutrients or chemicals that he would use to make different kinds of medicines. his boss had a long standing relationship with the community that lived in the forest and used to travel there every year. proof that deals can be made on a human, non-threatening manner.
*********side note*********

back to subject at hand. Though the story focused around the americas and relationship of settlers with the native americans, i think its one that can be applied in most colonial histories. i read an interesting article (link below) with this intersting insert:

"Throughout the Americas the earliest explorers, including Columbus, remarked on the natives' extraordinary hospitality. The conquistadores marvelled at the amazing roads, canals, buildings and art they found, which in some cases outstripped anything they had seen at home. None of this stopped them destroying everything and everyone they encountered..."

Link to the rest of the article: http://www.mg.co.za/article/2010-01-12-mawkish-maybe-but-avatar-is-a-profound-important-film

Anyway thats my shout out to the movie. Another interesting fact (see you come to this blog to learn, i just know it!): james cameron and his crew must have done a sht-load of research. kudos to them. did you know that "I/we see you" - a key phrase in the film - is a direct translation of "Sawubona"? Sawubona is the Zulu word for "Hello", but as the movie iterates, its meaning goes much deeper than that. If I see you, i'm acknowledging that you matter - everyone matters - that you are validated, respected, a valued member of the community. It's been described as an affirmation, an invitation to a deep witnessing and presence.

I see it as the first step to ubuntu.

happy year of african football (YAF)

2010-01-01T20:08:00.007+02:00

Lets not fool ourselves, this year, 2010, is not like any other year. its not like 2009 was just 2009 or 2008, etc. its not sufficient to just say happy 2010 this year, cuz that just doesnt tell the story. rather, i prefer to call this year the year of african football ('YAF' for short). I think that speaks a bit more to the importance of this year, so much more than merely 2010. I'm sure you will agree.

so anyway, here we are in the very first day of YAF and I hope that everyone's having a lovely one. I'm having a very relaxed one myself, after staying up most of last night. in my relaxed state, i thought i'd look back at last year and see what my resolutions were and if i'd resolution-ed them, and also what im looking forward to doing this yr. so here goes yet another list:

2009 resolutions:

do more random trips to random places...check!: groot marico, kruger, natal, durban, uitkyk, limpopo, magaliesburg, hartbeespoort.
go safari-ing...check!: kruger, couple places in botswana.
be more involved in community...half-check!
take the gmat; get my mba...check!: cape town here i come.
find ways to enjoy my work...half-check!: botswana and a really interesting female flatmate and travel companion helped. [special note: thanks zama for making my bots experience that much more special and for tryin to teach me zulu when you know im a sucky learner and for insisting that others speak in english around me! never mess with a zulu-chik.
eat more mangos...half-check!: can never have enough mangos. and dried mangos have been added to this resolution.

2010 resolutions:

enjoy world cup 2010 to the FULLEST. it'll probly be a logistal nightmare and i will be a student, which means that ill have no money or time to do much. but...im enjoying the hype and i will continue to enjoy the hype. first time on african soil, its an event that i'll boast about to my grandkids one day and say "i was there". i love it!
do bschool/mba. dont really have a choice here now that im enrolled, but make the most of it i will.
be a man of my words. i.e. when i say that i'll do something, people should be able to trust that i will. not saying that i dont do that now, but lately i think ive disappointed a couple people, even though they wont say it, it makes me feel terrible. so i need to improve on that. with that goes, being there for, and doing all that i can, to help out friends and family.
be more disciplined. spiritually and otherwise.
do more outdoors. shouldnt be too hard in cape town. im thinking soccer, squash, tennis, hiking. open to adding other things to the list too (rugby??..)

one thing ive been thinking about lately, before YAF, was how the end of 2009 was not simply a year ending, but in fact the end of a decade. while thinking about the year that's passed and all its challenges and victories, i couldnt help but start thinking about the decade thats passed as well. yes, 10 years of living is a lot to think about but heres a challenge:

over the last 10 years, what are some events/decisions/things that you've been most proud of or that have shaped you the most and in what ways? additionally, what are you most looking forward to this year or in the decade to come.

those are daunting questions and even as i surveyed myself and my friends, we found it difficult to answer those questions at times. some even decided to run away rather than answer the questions! prof...

anyway, lots have happened in the last year, let alone the last decade (from graduating high school to varsity and the loss of a very dear friend to chicago to accenture to nigeria to south africa and gaining new very dear friends to cape town to barack obama to michael jackson and tiger woods and on and on). because of this, its really difficult for me to pick just one thing that i think has shaped me the most. since i introduced the topic tho, i would have to say one event that i think shaped me perhaps more than most has been my decision to move to south africa. included in that are all the lessons i've learned, interesting people ive met, and places ive experienced. i think that decision alone has brought about so many changes in my life and in my world view and it continues to do so. in the next few years, i plan on continuing to grow (personally, spiritually, relation-nally), basking in the glow of the african world cup, finishing up my mba and embarking on a brave new world of african development (however that may look like).

so how will you remember this decade? will you reminisce on opportunities gone by or challenges faced or giants you stared down and beat? will you be thankful that u at least laboured through it (at least there was no "third world war"...)? or will it be full of memories of good times, hardships, lessons learned, and growth? and more importantly, how do you want to shape the next decade, starting with YAF? what will change? how will it be remembered? what role will you have to play in it? its become trendy nowadays to say that we dont have new year's resolutions, but i hope we all have some general plans of what we want to happen or what we're most looking forward to. and i hope we all seek out what role we're to play; what gives our lives meaning, one decade/year/month/minute at a time and strive for that.

In the words of the great JayZ: may the best of our today's be the worst of our tomorrow's!

Happy YAF.

53 frustrating hours

2009-12-02T23:00:00.003+02:00

i just went through 53 (or so) hours that i don't particularly want to encounter ever again. i'm taking a break from my top10 lists, because i just couldnt help but recount how hectic the last couple days have been. i dont think i've had the consecutive set of events rain down on me like they did. not to say that i didn't necessarily deserve some of these things or even bring some of them upon myself, but anyway, like all things...lessons learned! my interesting experiences started on sunday.

sun, 1:15pm: picked up to go to airport. everything seems normal. looking forward to the nice botswana sun.

sun, 1:55pm: at the airport. get out of the shuttle, newspaper on my lap still on the same page it was when we left. negotiate with guy at start of the queue to let me in the shorter line. it works. things appear normal.

sun, 2:02pm: the cheeky lady at the counter asks me where my passport is. thinking she means my visa into botswana, i proceed to show her my exemption visa for bots. no, she says, wheres ur passport. again i translated her misguided english to mean: "where's the extension on my passport" (sometimes they miss the little stamp). no, she repeats, ur passport is out of pages to stamp. i cant let u travel with this. she explained to me that i need at least 3 empty pages in my passport to fly. since i fly to and from bots almost every week i was currently left with about 1.5 empty pages.

sun, 2:15pm: same cheeky lady. now trying to call bots to see if theyll let me through without charging the airline. no go. then calling the nigerian embassy (ha!). no go. solution (for now): i had to postpone my trip for a couple days, go to the nigerian consulate and see if they can issue me an emergency travel document.

sun, 2:55pm: after a sandwich, get a cab back home for a ridiculous amt of money.

sun, 8pm: woke up from a short nap, thinking i should be freaking out. but nah, everything should work out just fine, right??

mon, 7:50am: put on my monday best and head for the nigerian consulate so i can be there before they open and be one of the first in.

mon, 8:40am: arrive at consulate. theres already a queue of about 20 people, including some dear acquaintances. we chat. we wish each other the best of luck.

mon, 9:17am: lady asks if im here for collection or drop off. neither i say, but i have a very important question. she looks at me like im crazy. i recount the whole story from sunday and ask if i can get some sort of emergency travel document while i wait for the new passport. she looks at me like im crazy. transfers me over to the boss.

mon, 9:25am: i hunt down boss, who's trying desperately to escape me and leave the premises, recount my story and plead for sympathy. boss man says, but theres no such thing as an emergency travel document, and sorry i have to leave now, have a very important meeting to get to in pretoria.

mon, 9:27am: back to lady at the front: plead some more. she says, look ive told u all that i know, the only people that would be able to do anything different are my bosses (yea, loads of effing help they are). so btw, what is the normal process if i were to do it? heh, get this: fill out online application. submit and print. but before u submit and print u must print the page entry page, cuz u wont be able to get back to it once u submit. in order to complete the app, u must find a nigerian address to put as ur permanent address, and find a next of kin also with a nigerian address. after submitting, you must find a guarantor and have them fill out a couple forms with their ID photos. this guarantor must have a valid nigerian drivers license and all docs must be certified. after completing apps, u must hand all the docs in physically to the consulate (whats the point of online apps then??) and then u go home. after 3 wks theyll call u to take a photo. it takes at least one full day to take a photo. then u go home. if you're one of the lucky few, you'll get a call in 2 wks to come and collect. and if you're lucky, your passport will actually be ready on the day they say it is (have yet to see that happen).

mon, 9:35am: am starting to freak out now at the parking lot. what do i do? i need to be in bots this wk for training and we go-live the next monday and we've got presentations, etc...

mon, 9:45am: after a couple calls to friends, i decided that best bet is to try to drive to bots and try my luck at the border control instead. i'd submit my app for a new passport and then start driving first thing tues morn.

mon, 12:15pm: I finish the app and submit. i arrange to meet someone with a nigerian drivers license to complete the guarantors part at 430pm.

mon, 12:30pm: (actually this started a couple hours before). i begin calling car rental places to find a car to drive to bots. nothing available yet, but theyll call me back shortly. i call my car dealership, where my car has been for the past 1+wks. get the news that they think theyve figured out whats wrong with my car. gonna cost me the equivalent of $2000. i say go ahead and do it. oh and btw, will it be ready by first thing tomorrow morning? doubtful. so back to my rental car options.

mon, 4pm: i drive to the mall, where i'm supposed to meet the guarantor with the nigerian drivers license. still, dont have a car for the next day.

mon, 4:35pm: while tryin to sit down at a cafe, my flatmate calls me. the house is flooded. especially my room. books, bags, clothes, shoes...all drenched. from water from the toilet. toilet water. listen, i tell roomy, i cant deal with this right now; pls deal with it. i give him the landlords number to help sort things out.

mon, 5:15pm: guarantor shows up. we chat. she signs the forms. we go to an internet cafe. she prints some more necessary forms and signs them. we walk over to the police station (not too short of a walk) to have them certified. no hassles at the police station, surprisingly. everything ready to go, i thot.

mon, 6:01pm: i call back the only car place that said they might have a car available, she tells me she has a citi golf w/ no air con or power steering but i have to pick it up now as shes on her way out. as i was across town there was no way i could get to her fast. as i like a bit of comfort (esp driving long distances), i wasnt about to drive a non-power steering vehicle with no air con to hot and stinky botswana and keep this car for 2.5 wks before driving it back (i had decided that if i made it into botswana i couldnt leave till i was ready to leave for the year, to minimize the number of times they would need to stamp my passport). i decide ill try my luck again with all the car rental companies first thing tomorrow.

mon, 7:14pm: i drop the application at a friends who was also going for a new passport. we chat. i rest.

mon, 9:37pm: i have dinner with a friend. jollof rice and beef stew and fried plantain/dodo. not bad.

mon, around 12am: i get back to my appartment. hear the dripping sounds of water downstairs. feel the wet floor. walk upstairs to me room. the carpet is just soaked. my feet drenched in water as i walk the swampy jungle that is my room. i notice everything is wet. my roomy tried and got some stuff off the floor. problem is he put the stuff on top of my bed, so now my bed and sheets are also wet. with toilet water.

mon, 12:16am: disgusted, i take some dry sheets that were not on the bed and head downstairs to sleep.

tues, 6am: i'm wide awake after an uncomfortable night. do some reading while waiting for others to wake up so i can start calling.

tues, 7:30am: start calling car rental places again. again, nothing available. earliest lunchtime some say.

tues, 9am: remembered that theyre was one part of my app for passport that was missing. i need to print, sign, scan, and email this thing before 11am.

tues, 9:24am: find an internet cafe. all computers booked.

tues, 10am: got tired of calling car rental places with no response, so drop by one of the ones ive been calling. she's flustered. apparently she doesnt have enough cars either. anyway, eventually she finds me another car at another branch that will be ready at noon. phew.

tues, 10:30am: back to the internet cafe. now they have a computer. get on my gmail. need to prnt the doc. now u can only print be first saving on a memory stick. didnt have mine with, but no worries, they have loan ones. 2 of them. their both in use. wait 15 minutes. no joke. finally grabbed one of the guys with one of the memory sticks ask him if i could also put my doc there and we could go print it together. plan works.

tues, 11:15am: doc is finally scanned and emailed. heading back home to get my stuff, then off to pick up the car.

tues, 1145am: call my friend whose car im borrowing to work out how im going to leave the car. we sketch out a sketchy plan. eventually decided i would leave it in a mall and give the keys to his bro-in-law somewhere else. (eventually decided to just keep the keys with me)

tues, 1pm: i finally find this car rental place, but now i cant find a place to park.

tues, 1:40pm: we finish all the paper work and the keys are finally handed to me. now i have to figure out how to get to bots. i start driving and calling friends.

tues, 2-7pm: i eventually make my way with some sketchy and not-so-sketchy directions. didnt miss my way too much. nice adventure. nice scenery, to look on the bright side. said a prayer about every 2 minutes that i'd be allowed to cross the border. got to the border and snuck in between a large group. produced my passport, even declared my laptop. and in the end they stamped my passport. I Was Home Free!

tues, 430pm: i learn that the nigerian consulate rejected my application. whatever. maybe ill try it again. maybe i wont.

all that was much more hassle than i want to go through in the short amount of time again. i still dunno what happened to my flooded room, but hopefully thats been sorted. the day ended with great news tho. im here in bots now (and not leaving till i leave for good in a couple weeks!), i opened my email and i found out that ive been accepted into the university of cape town full time mba programme starting in january. the funny thing is when things like this happen to me, esp the good things, i remember my parents and close family. reason is that i know theyre tru prayer warriors and i can almost feel that theyve been praying for me. so i emailed my parents to recount the events, and surely they had been praying for me regarding these things the same day. my parents are amazing. anyway, extremely stressful day(s) turned into extremely happy night/morning/week. lessons learned!

things i'm thankful for - top 10

2009-11-26T10:37:00.005+02:00

It's thanksgiving again. happy thanksgiving! well it was yesterday, but better late than never. this year has gone by sooo fast. it seems like not very long ago that i was thanking God for God, mangoes, muffins, friends, family, etc. for sure, i'm still thankful for these things; much hasn't changed. but i decided to do another top 10 list of things i'm thankful for; many of them same as last year. so the list, in no particular order.

10. Botswana. there's a lot of things that i dislike about this country (so many bugs, so many traffic circles, so hottt...), but all in all i've been absolutely blessed to get to know yet another country in africa and meet some good people along the way. i wish i couldve explored the country a bit more, but theres always next year!

9. mangos. yes i still like them a lot. but they are on this list for a different reason this time. i haven't had one mango this summer yet (still tryin to get used to calling december summer...). i've been watching out for them at stores, but they havent started appearing. maybe i should go back to my favourite adam's family dealer.

8. mugg and bean muffins. i can say enough about these gigantic muffins. if i ever double in size by the time some of my US friends see me again, it'll probably be because of these things. i can't go a saturday without one now.

7. finally getting to sleep in. my wknds are so short these days. i spend the week in botswana, get back on fri night, catch up on friends and other activities on sat, church on sun, and then fly back on sun afternoon. that hasnt left me much time to just enjoy a good sleep. so tonight, ive decided i'm getting good sleep. ill probably still be woken up by the sun and the stupid cat meow-ing, but doesnt mean i have to get up, right?

6. joburg. i like this place. i really really like this place. and i think i like it even more because i've spent most of the year away from it. i find myself missing little things like the theatre, restaurants, people, air when ive stayed away for too long. i definitely do not miss the traffic tho.

5. mini road trips. i used to say i loved road trips, but i never got a chance to take too many of them in the states. i think probably cuz i was tryin to organise the perfect, long, meaningful road trip. this year tho, ive taken several road trips where we decide within a week or less to go somewhere, head there, find some food, lodging, and fun and head back in a couple days. there are so many beautiful sights to see within driving distance from joburg that i think i should take a road trip every couple weeks.

4. attending my first lobola (traditional wedding) celebration. you can see the pics below. what an experience.

the next 3 haven't changed much from last year. but theyre even more important than they were.

3. family. my definition of family is widening, but for now i'll stick to my immediate family. constant support, encouragement, and prayers is just inspiring.

2. friends (and mentors). good friends in the US making sure i never forget them and that they dont forget me! good friends in SA teaching me a whole new level of friendship. the relationships ive built here in just the last 2 years are part of the reason i can't even imagine leaving anytime soon. i dunno if ive taught my friends much or ive influenced them much, but theyve taught me a lot and influenced me and theyre just fun to be around.

1. God. sure i had this pipe dream of traveling to afriker and getting the afrikan experience and putting it in my log book as a been there done that moment and then continuing on with my life. but actually making this happen (this being coming here and enjoying myself) is really a god-send. all of 2-10 would not have been possible, i believe, without a higher power looking after me and making things happen even when i dont deserve it or don't fully believe or trust. i continue to be amazed. "indescribable. uncontainable. untameable. incomparable. unchangeable. amazing. you see the depths of my heart and u love me the same." simply amazing.

0 (a bonus...buy-10-get-1-free-type). world cup. once upon a time, i thought it would be cool to go to a world cup game. once upon a time i thought it would be cool to get to watch a world cup match played for the first time on african soil. this is actually happening: the world cup is coming to sa and im going to a couple of the matches! i remember just being in europe (tho on the east side) during the 06 world cup and how electric/fun the atmosphere was. now i get to see the action up close and personal. just coming back from the airport tonight there were so many signs and billboards advertising the event ("11 languages, 10 stadiums, 4,394, 705 vuveselas" read one). man, i cant wait!

Top 10 - reasons not to stay at a resort slash lodge slash motel

2009-11-14T12:33:00.004+02:00

I've haven't done lists in some time, so i figured its about time to bring them back. so for the next few weeks, this blog will feature several lists, along with a bit of commentary. if that makes anybody unhappy, i do not apologise. tough. tho i think it will be fun.

this week's list consist of reasons why i will never again stay at a shady lodge/motel. ok, maybe not never, but not for a long time and hopefully not for work. this week in botswana, there was apparently some big conference and since my colleague and i booked accomodations late, we were stuck with one option - the yarona country lodge. to say that this "lodge" is indeed in the "country" or is in fact a "lodge" would just be "overwhelmingly" "incorrect" (as incorrect as these ""s). was it in a small city even? no. small town? nope. this lodge sat in some small village outside (i think) gaborone city. so on to the top 10:

10. customer service what?? no such thing. in fact the opposite. angry workers wondering why you're disturbing their life by staying at their establishment.

9. dirt. its everywhere. you mean you actually have to clean for guests?

8. staying on the subject of cleanliness, shower shoes and towels. never go to a shady place and forget these 2 essentials. that bathroom was nastily dirty. and the towels, i just don't wanna think about the towels... i chose to air dry, in full view of anyone passing by, cuz of course, the windows don't close.

7. speaking of bathrooms, just to let u know how classy of an establishment it was, they had a full box of condoms - "silky smooth and secure" - by the sink, just in case.

6. emergency button. located just above the bed. again just in case u're having a bit too much fun and you need some assistance. i was tempted to try out the button to see what happens (a loud siren? bull dog comes running? guard barges in with his batton cuz hes not allowed to carry a gun?...), but i chose not to do it.

5. curtains that look like the bed sheets and bed sheets that look and feel like the curtains. hmm... i was too afraid to open up the sheets and see what surprises lay ahead of me (or beneath me) so i slept on top.

4. curfew for internet. yep. kinda like when u were in school and they kicked u out of the lab, right??...there were 2 places to use the internet at this resort slash lodge slash motel. one was in the "restaurant" and that closed at 10pm. I was doing work one night and reached a point where i had to get some info from a couple websites and then email the work. it was close to 10, so i decided to go to the other place, the conference room, to get online and work in peace and quiet. was working for only about 40 minutes when one of the lovely ladies came to me and told me they were closing up at 11pm. so i said fine, just tell me where i will be able to go online and i'll move. turns out theres no other place in this establishment, and apparently 11pm is the curfew for internet use. so i kindly inform her that i will be staying exactly where i am until i finish the work and email. I think she thought this was an argument, because she (and then a few other lovely ladies) kept pointing out the problems in my plan. in my head, it was a pretty simple plan: if this is indeed the only place to use the internet, then i would remain here until i finished my work. see, no argument. and thats exactly what happened. i think i was fair.

3. Dogs. Loud dogs. traffic to and from this place gets really bad, so we decided to leave for work around 6AM. this meant i typically got up at 5 in the morning. by this time the dogs were in full swing, barking at god-knows-what. but barking nonetheless and continuously.

2. The dogs were not the only sound. no no, the dogs actually came last. before the dogs started, the chicken/foul/roosters were in full swing. cock-crowing at the crack of dawn just to make sure that if #1 hasn't woken u up yet, you would now be awake.

and the grand-daddy of them all...

#1: frogs. bull frogs. the damn bull f-ing frogs. loudest bullfrogs you've ever heard. they got started looong before the chicken and looooong before the dogs. they started around 1130PM took a break between 1-245AM, then kept going from then till at least the time we left, at 6AM. i know this cuz i could only sleep between 1-3AM. these stupid creatures must've thought they were making melodic tones that would soothe u into a lovely slumber, barry-white-style. when one frog on one side would take a breather, another would fill in for it, in a slightly different tune (typically a lower bass or sometimes baritone). the result: frog harmonic synphony lilkke you've never heard before. and because they were so good, they ensured that there was no way in hell you could fall asleep during their extended performance. and later on, when the chicken and dogs chimes in...animal farm meets bach like u've never experienced.

so all in all, truly a once (err, maybe its been a couple times now) in a lifetime sort of experience. actually thats more of a wish and a prayer than anything. God, let this be a once in a lifetime deal. I've learned my lesson. be warned.

ate cake...at a wedding

2009-10-26T20:35:00.008+02:00

well, i didn't really eat cake. there was a wedding (bride and groom above), and i got to do whats becoming one of my favorite activities - take a little road trip. so ~5hrs after we left jo-burg, there i was in a village outside of polokwane in the limpopo region called uitkyk (pronounced "ate-cake"). weird afrikaans language. [i'd like to take a moment now to send a shout out to my baby - my car - for all its hard work and endurance. tho i complain a lot about my baby, she managed about 50km on dirt, gravel, and very bumpy roads and never once gave up...thats committment!]

anyway, back to the wedding. i was very honoured actually that my friend invited me to his wedding. it was my first of the kind. it wasn't a white, wedding, but the traditional wedding; the celebration that comes after the groom has paid the lobola (bride price), which he did the saturday morning in joburg before heading to limpopo. after lots of celebration and chatting and dancing and eating, i gathered my thoughts and decided that i actually learned quite a lot in one night. here's a sampling (in no particular order):

1. i still have a problem with the whole bride price/dowry thing. if u talk to older people, they'll tell you of the tradition that it symbolises appreciation by the grooms family that the wife's family is allowing "a potential bread weaner" to leave the home. or that its supposed to help with the wedding activities and planning. or something like that. the historical and symbolic meaning is fine, but in reality, today, its turned into something of a money-making or cow-acquiring scheme. this is not the point i want to make tho. the point is that thru all the traditions and customs, one thing was clear: the couple loved and admired each other. and they would honour their parents and uncles and aunts wishes (of adhering to tradition and custom) if they have to in order to be together. and they had fun!

2. i'm not ready to get married yet. yep. thats it. too hectic for me.

3. a cow's head/nose is not all that bad! i had another first. the morning after the wedding, its customary to cook the head of the cow (whose body we all ate the night before). so being a good african, i joined in and just happened to grab the nose. i was told that it was the best part of the head, but im not sure thats saying much. it actually was pretty good. except for when i thought about the fact that i was eating a flipping cow's head.

4. many south african blacks are as racist as the whites, but refuse to admit it. i had a running huge debate with some extremely well educated blacks who felt that if whites hate blacks as a general rule, its racism, but if blacks hate whites as a general rule, its not racism. it cant be. cuz they (blacks) have a reason to hate. i don't buy that at all. in all the definitions of racism or racial discrimination, i haven't come across one that excuses one racial group from the curse of racism. and it is just that, a curse. on humanity. on the other hand, i think i can understand just a little bit of how black south africans feel. they feel that their land was grabbed from them and never returned. that they received political freedom while they were told to just forgive and forget decades of oppression and racism. they feel that the perpetrators and those who still today benefit from the apartheid regime never fully paid for their crimes. some feel that nelson mandela sold them out by not having by not demanding much more in the liberation negotiations. they feel robbed. south africa is still a very messed up place...it just sometimes takes a wedding and few laughs and alcohol and a bunch of guys talking politics to bring some of that out into the open. as an outsider tho, i'm much more hopeful.

5. i really like road trips. did i mention that already. and i like good company.

enjoy the pics:

whats in a church?

2009-10-11T14:49:00.006+02:00

i love my church. i love real people. esp. i love real christians. my church seems to have a lot of them. i think everyone should go to my church. everyone in sa who wants to know how real reconciliation should be done should go to my church. they're not perfect; in fact, not even close. and its this realisation that allows them to be real and brutally honest. to be broken. sweetly broken. and embrace healing. it allows them (blacks, whites, indians, foreigners, etc) to confess that theyre racist, and at the same time joke and laugh about racism. it allows them to shun divorce and yet actively embrace divorcees. Etc...

Welcome back trevor (church pastor); we've missed you.

independence schm-indepedence. potential my foot.

2009-10-04T19:11:00.003+02:00

a long time ago, i swore to slit my throat if i hear another person usher the words potential and nigeria in the same sentence. ok, i didn't really swear to it. and happily, i haven't carried it out. but this past week saw a lot of nigeria and potential talk.

it was nigeria's independence last thursday and the annual parade of articles and op-eds began, lamenting the fact that there's hardly anything to celebrate, while tirade-ing on the vast potential that lies in the future for the country, ready to be tapped. brief tangent: i've been a baseball fan for some time now, and whenever scouts and coaches start talking of potential of a player, you should run away, quickly. for some reason or another, potential seems to underlie something that others think they see in someone/some entity that somehow rarely ever seems to materialise. this counldnt be more true in the case of nigeria.

since i can remember, people have been talking about this ubiquitous potential that will be untapped at any moment now. most people my parents generation will look forward to the days when the current generation dies away and paves the way to newer set of leaders my age (conveniently forgetting that people my age tend to learn from people their age, while perfecting the art of taking as much from the country for themselves and giving back the absolute bare minimum). honestly, i once fell into this trap as well, professing that change was on its way! and even writing an op-ed piece in a local newspaper about how/why nigeria continues to fly when all indicators suggest it should have collapsed a long time ago (like a bumblebee). nowadays, i must admit i'm not so hopeful, but all hope is not yet lost. it cannot be. without hope what is there?

independence day meant little to me this year. besides so good naija cooking and a chance to catch up with some friends, it didnt really mean that much to me. in a sense, i think i didnt want to celebrate the day because it would make me truly assess the situation of the country. and that, my friends, is not pretty. from violence in the niger delta, to militants laying down their arms somehow (also suspicious...why would they do this? whats the government giving them in return? what closed door deals are going on to keep ordinary nigerians begging for food at the end of the day?), to the normalcy of power cuts and blackouts, to the smog generating from generators, to universities striking for the 30975623rd time (ensuring that my age mates are still struggling to finish university), to the stock market devaluing by nearly 60% over the last year and a half...things arent pretty. of course, theres always signs that optimists point to to argue for nigeria's come back, like the brain gain thats continuing with educated and successful people moving back to nigeria to start or run businesses or the laying down of arms by militants (tho with unknown pre-conditions), but i fail to see how these alone will turn a country like nigeria around.

but i love nigerians. as one independence day article that my mom sent me stated: if theres one thing to celebrate, its the achievement and the perseverance of nigerians. this cannot be denied. ex: i got an email from a friend of mine in nigeria, one of those age mates still stuck in the smelly cesspit known as nigerian universities. after going on a tirade about how bad and hopeless things are at the moment, he ends the email saying that we must be happy, hopeful and responsible. 2 things that nigerians cannot be faulted for are being enterprising and hopeful! i don't get it sometimes, but when all is hopeless nigerians keep hoping and actually making the best out of situations. the article my mom sent me listed countless nigerians that have ventured to win several awards and accolades for the work theyre doing in several fields from literature to science research to government and on and on.

so i guess there is something to celebrate afterall as nigeria turns 49. and its not its potential. rather the heights that have been reached by numerous nigerians. now why cant we have a government that reflects our best citizens and our best ambitions (i'll even settle for average), instead of one that fights to reach new lows on a daily basis. in the words of chicago-ans: theres always next year.

post-post: ever had a clogged sink or tub? maybe it wasnt fully clogged, just enough so that when u ran the water, it drained very slowly. not to mention u kept adding to the clog by shaving or bathing. ever bought the wrong solution to clear up the clog? u pour the entire bottle in the sink/tub and run lots of water and nothing happens. more clog. now the water soaks up even slower than before. then u ask someone at the store to give u advice on the right solution/brand to use. u get home, do the drill and it works. water flows like it used to. better than it used to. ever bled? your blood says everything.

of culture and identity

2009-09-14T01:07:00.002+02:00

yes, i know, i haven't written on my blog in a very long time. for that i apologise. but not really. u know, a man's gotta put food on the table for...himself. anyway, it has been a long time, but i'm back! unfortunately for my legion of loyal readers, this post will have no pictures, mostly cuz i havent done much travelling lately (hopefully that'll be changing soon)...

as you may have guessed by the title, this post has something to do with culture and identity, although i'm making no apologies in the event that i go off topic and take tangents elsewhere.

during my 3rd or 4th year in high school, my history and chemistry teachers decided that it would be a great exercise to make us students do an inter-disciplinary study/research incorporating some thing/idea/figures from both subjects. we were told that inter-disciplinary studies were the new, up and coming, kid on the block, that most studies were trending towards the inter-disciplinary field, whatever that meant. being high school students, we really couldnt care less, just another research paper to do, using mostly internet sources and a couple token library sources. im reminded of this now, because increasingly it seems like my teachers might have been on to something.

obviously, in the last decade, and perhaps even before that, the world has been obsessed with globalisation. from protests (several at my university) of mcdonalds and nike taking over the world to thomas friedman explaining how google and web 2.0 has led to a flattening of the world, bringing both necessary good and unwanted evil, we've been clobbered with images and examples of just how ever small the world is getting. what does culture have to do with this? well, i might be stretching this analogy, but i think culture -today as well as generations ago- is essentially an inter-disciplinary study. when people speak of globalisation and the world flattening, they are not merely referring to a leveling plane of information or the spread of american junk food, but also of the spread of cultures, customs, and ideas. but this is not a new thing. when islam was conquering and developing trade routes into northern africa, they brought with them the religion, which communities in n africa adopted and adapted into their culture. when british christians came to colonise parts of africa and elsewhere, they brought with them christian attributes that were incorporated into the cultures of these communities. when the british settled in america, they adopted aspects of british, french, native american culture. today, we look at these communities and assume that the culture and practises we see have always been part of the culture. but i dont believe this. and the evidence clearly points to culture being something that can and does change or evolve.

a good question right about now would be why am i ranting about this nonsense? well, lately ive found myself having many discussions with friends on the topic of culture and identity. i think most people go through periods in their life when theyre trying to figure out who they are and where they belong. my parents have a lovely saying that goes: never forget who and whose you are. the saying is fine and all, but it assumes that you know who you are and where you belong. anyway, one of my friends recently got extremely frustrated, realising that he couldnt fit the mold of the culture of his parents. he wrote in his blog:

I hate [my country]! i hate [people from my country] and this completely rude, alien, unloving, intolerant culture that is bent on blaming me for everything! i hate this culture that deifies parents and minimises feelings of others down to the most unimportant thing imaginable! I hate it. I hate being a third culture kid. I hate being raised without a culture or home. I hate being raised as a nothing, a wanderer, a cultural and social mutt...What do you have when you have neither family nor heritage?

you see, this guy has travelled and immerse himself in something like 4 or 5 different cultures. and theyve all shaped his thinking, his perspective, and his world view. he came back to south africa, in a sense, to find a home -an identity- in the culture of his parents. he's finding this difficult.

similarly (although i don't think i've admitted this too many people) i came to south africa, in part, to discover the african in me, if there was one. just like my friend, i had immersed myself in different cultures and in my sub-conscious, i wanted to cling to or re-claim, the culture of my birth or of my parent. then one day someone had the balls to tell me that i was not a typical nigerian. i thought about that statement for a long time - a typical nigerian. what is a typical nigerian? where does that definition come from? is it perceived, based on some stereotypes? or is it an internationally defined term that can easily be found on wikipedia? in any case, would i want to be a typical nigerian? after much thought and chats with friends, i concluded that it was fruitless to try and attempt to be a typical anything. ive met so many people from so many cultures and many agree - to be a typical something, is to be put in a category that contains lots of stereotypes, perceived notions, unrealistic expectations, and maybe even a sprinkle of truth. plus thats just boring.

I have nothing against culture. i love culture. well the good parts of it anyway. good, as defined by me. and i fully believe that within culture, we can find aspects of our identity. however, i also believe that culture is ever-changing. and we should embrace this evolution and not run away from it like we're running away from a pile of cow dung chasing after us. obama (i said id go on tangents) quickly won millions over precisely because he was a mutt and many identified with that. we're currently living in a time when mutts are increasing. this is not new. perhaps the rate has quickened, but mutts have been around for ages. the inter-mingling of cultures and identities is something to be celebrated and not castigated.

most of my friends now grew up identifying with more than 1 culture. is that a bad thing? absolutely not. to be able to immerse ourselves and understand multiple cultures makes us lucky and blessed. it means that we can learn from different cultures, and teach others from what we know. it makes us part of a new reality - one in which different cultures intermingle and clash and learn from one another. is it wrong to long for the culture and identity of your parents, as my friend does? absolutely not. to desire the good traits in one culture is admirable. but we should not let that stop us from admiring and longing for good traits within other cultures. who says i must only belong to one culture. i have my own identity. and its one that (like many others i know) has been influenced by many cultures, many practices and beliefs. its an inter-disciplinary identity.

post-post: i've added a new feature to the blog. as you may have noticed to your left is a section for blogs that i like to read, often (feel free to recommend your blog or a good one that i should start reading and maybe put on my blog roll). anyway, its all part of my attempt to transform myself into a techie. first a blog roll, next sql, java, c#, then take over the world.

Welcome to Heaven!

2009-07-22T22:51:00.006+02:00

For those who still question my adventurous ways (tsk tsk), this weekend marked a substantial milestone in my ubuntu adventures: 16months after first stepping on the soil of the motherland, I can now say that I have been to (or at least travelled through) each one of south africa's provinces. The final leg happened this weekend when I took a quick and extremely nice roadtrip to durban/kwazulu natal.

Factoid of the day/week/year: Zululand means Heaven (more or less) in Zulu, so just to make sure that everyone travelling to the region knows this, there is a HUGE sign as you enter the region that reads: Welcome to Heaven. Thats awesome...unfortunately I couldn't get to my camera quick enough to get a snap. I did get a chance to take a few pics. The landscape is simply beautiful (rolling hills, mountains, beaches with the reallly nice beach breeze). More importantly, the people just seemed sooo much friendlier than other places in SA. Definitely, it was more integrated and racist (i felt) than other places. I think i could probably see myself living there, tho what would i do for money :/ ...

some pics:

to see lots more pics, click here

post posts: I STILL can't stand strikes. but to clarify my earlier position, I am totally in favour of workers being paid a living wage and working under acceptable conditions. however, i have to believe that there are other, better, and more innovative ways to achieve this than to simply strike. strikes tend to do no good and only really benefit the union organizers and those at the top. and its these guys at the top that ensure that the lowly workers are as little educated as possible so that they don't understand that a stoppage in work will cost the economy millions, an increase in salaries and bonuses (in the case of construction workers, the dispute was b/w 11 and 13%...wtf??!) will only put more strain on the already depressed economy, which may lead to higher inflation, which may lead to higher taxes, which may lead to those taxes being passed on to the citizens, which may lead to even higher food and essential products prices. nope, all the organizers want the toi-toi-ing workers to know is that their R100/per hr wage could be raise to R111 or R113, and we all know that 113 is light years more than 111. in the case of doctors also striking, i also dont agree, but agree that those in the healthcare industry need to get paid decent wages and work in favourable conditions and with adequate equipment. but lets start using our god given brains to think of better ways to negotiate these things than to allow sick people to die because we want better pay. all this while the head of the unions live comfortably in their mansions, driving their black mercedes. i will now proceed to step down my soap box.

world cup fever

2009-07-08T20:37:00.012+02:00

my third year in high school (junior yr) was by far the best/most enjoyable/most successful in terms of my school soccer/futbal team. truthfully, our soccer team throughout high school was not the best; most times we stunk. But junior year was different. starting from the summer camp, we knew we could have an alright year, and an alright year for us was really like winning the super bowl! (to any u city lions out there, im promise im not hating - go lions!) anyway, earlier that summer, i had decided i was sick of riding/warming up the bench and appearing as a substitute and wanted to be a full time player, so i enrolled myself at a soccer camp that was running next to my house using the little cash i had saved up. the camp def helped me more with confidence and a bit of skill and led to me taking over the starting right back position and, by the end of the season, being rewarded the most improved player award.

all that was not really my point. the point i was trying to get at came the very first match (if i remember correctly). this match was against our bitter rivals (tho we liked to think of it as a rivalry, we pretty much got our assess handed to us whenever we played them...but hey, we always played them hard!). so we prepared to play this team at our home turf (which also meant nothing cuz we usually just had a handful of fans (like 2-5), max!). that match turned out to be the most unforgettable match and one of the most unforgettable moments of my high school career. not only were we better prepared than our rivals, we out played them the entire 1st half and then kept up the lead amidst massive amounts of pressure in the second half. I dont really remember what the final score of that match was (2-0??), but we beat them. and convincingly. no one could remember the last time we beat them. the feeling on that field that evening was ridiculous - unlike any emotion i had ever felt to that point. guys were doing flips, hugging, kissing whatever they could find, rolling around, doing anything crazy u could imagine (well almost). another side note: i remember coach made us run laps after the match (usually reserved for when we lost) just so we could calm down. it didn't work tho. none of us wanted to leave the pitch that day. when we eventually left, we gathered again at the parking lot and started honking our horns and playing loud music. i remember when i finally left with some friends, we were still hooting and playing "we will rock you" as loud as we could. that euphoric feeling lasted pretty much the entire season as we kept up the energy and achieved much more than was expected.

about 2 weeks ago, i went to a confederations cup match (brazil vs. italy) and a couple days later i watch on tv as south africa played brazil. the euphoric atmosphere that permeated all of joburg and indeed all of south africa reminded me a bit of how i felt walking off the soccer field that summer night, junior yr. there were people jumping up and down, shouting, blowing the vuvusela (a staple of s. african soccer that will stay and thrive for good...suck it spaniards!!), hugging, celebrating shoulder to shoulder to people of different colours and cultures that they might not otherwise interact with. (another side note: one of the reasons i LOVE the game of futbal is its amazing ability to bring people of different persuasions together; just look at the pictures from the matches). even from the airport, as i was making my way to s africa, you could feel this excitement. on the highways, there were people driving and blowing their vuvusela's and waving whatever flag. on the radio, people could not get enough commentary on anything futbal. this lasted all of the confederation cup! and it was amazing! and, judging by the billboards, radio and tv ads, petrol station remakes, flags, etc..., i get a feeling that this will last until next year's world cup. my friends that went to games also get this feeling. it was truly an awesome showcase of a bit of what we can expect. does it show that im just a bit excited about this??! (oh and i got my wc tickets already!!)

i woke up today to news that workers in sa (esp those doing world cup projects) have decided to go on strike over a 3% difference in pay raise. hmm. i think i'll just hold my tongue a bit on this one, except to say that i really HaTe strikes. anyway, i'm sure this will once again fuel speculation that the stadiums, etc will not be ready for the world cup. but fyi, fears that countries will not be ready to host the competition have been around for almost every world cup that's been held, going back to the very first one in 1930 in Uruguay. during the first world cup, they actually had to move some first week matches to other stadiums because one of the major ones was not ready. i'm pretty sure that will not happen here in sa. there's way too much at stake and too many people with too much invested for everything not to be more than ready. I am confident that sa will shock the world at how awesome the games will be. finally, while doing my extensive research on this topic i learned that out of the 18 world cups held, the host country has won it all 6 times. thats a 33% shot. there's hope south africans!! well, im calling it here: there will be an african team playing in the finals! im not saying who it'll be...tho we all know how formidable the green white and green are...here's so Fut-bal Fee-vah

post post: haven't done one of these for a while, but here's to my friend, steph, as she embarks on an adventure to uganda - a truly amazing country with truly lovely people. good luck steph and hope you enjoy every bit of it and hopefully we'll get a chance to meet up in aa-fri-kerr!

2009-06-20T13:04:00.004+02:00

Just in case some of you thought that i was not living up to the title of this blog or shirking on my responsibilities to making this a true adventure, i would like to re-assure u that this is not the case. follow me as we venture into the life of moi, over the last couple of months:

evidence #1: not only am i exploring a brave new world otherwise known as botswana, im also learning some new tricks. for example, i've been forced to learn how to drive a manual/stick shift vehicle. that's right. and if i must say so myself, im a pretty damn fast learner and i'm pretty damn good at it. botswana is mostly flat with few hills, etc, so sure i havent been tested too much, but i've gone thru some rigorous testing and came out alive (more on this later).

evidence #2: while working in botswana, i decided to take up french classes. first logical question: do they speak french in botswana? answer: no, not even close. 2nd logical question: why not take classes on the language spoken in botswana (setswana)? answer: cuz i didnt feel like it. it was an 8 (or so) week course that i kind of started in the middle and went into one of the "high" levels thinking i would struggle...but if i must say so myself, neanmois, je n'ai appris presque rien pendant le cours!..

evidence #3: and this explains the photos u see. this past weekend i went on a mini-holiday/vacation to this tiny town/village somewhere in between gabarone and joburg. it was such an amazing weekend. first, it was the furthest i had driven with my new (rental) manual/stick shift car. plus, i drove it all by myself (my friends were all coming from the joburg side, and i was coming from the gabarone side). this trip included some "major" off-roading, if i must say so myself. and i passed with flying colours. no mishaps, no stalling, no getting stuck. i think i was born to drive a manual...well not really, i still enjoy my automatic when in joburg, especially in traffic. anyway, the rest of the weekedn was excellent. we actually just stayed in a self-catering lodge, saw none of the town (with all its 3 shops), hiked, relaxed, cooked, ate, and drank. there were about a million tangerine (naartjie, in afrikaans) and lemon trees; so we went tangerine- and lemon-picking and sat and ate them and it reminded me of lovely times of long ago...i really don't remember the last time i had such a relaxing and nice weekend. I've been so used to either coming to joburg and trying to fit as many things into 2 days as i can or running errands or seeing people or doing laundry. even while taking vacations, u try to see as many things as u can in the span of a week or 2. this mini-vacation was all about relaxing. i woke up whenever i wanted to, walked where-ever i wanted to whenever i wanted to, ate whenever, read whenever...no tv, no phone. also, not only did i make some amazing fires (i was in charge of the fire and braai-ing the meat for 2 nights), i schooled my friends at scrabble! i sound almost like a hippie, w/o the drugs. anyway, it was super, as the french would say. hope to do it again soon.

galivanting around chi-town and nyc

2009-05-31T23:06:00.004+02:00

so my overseas trip is finally over. got back on thursday morning, and still trying to catch up on much needed sleep - today i slept practically the whole day. aside from that tho, i had a blast in the states, got to see my family for a couple hrs and then headed to chicago and new york for good fun with awesome friends. sadly i didnt get a chance to see everyone that i wanted to, but theres always time; i'll try to see more of y'all next time around. i've posted my pics on my picasa page (warning: lots of random pictures). enjoy!

link: http://picasaweb.google.com/okunadef/Chi_NY_0509?authkey=Gv1sRgCOzU0IH9kci7AQ&feat=directlink

in the states

2009-05-19T06:23:00.002+02:00

kind of last minute, but i'm in the US for some training and fun. the whole thing came about pretty quickly and i've been too busy to update this blog lately, so i didn't really have a chance to tell a lot of people; so sorry if you didnt hear abuot this. my colleague and i left jo-burg on friday afternoon, got to new york on sat morning, took a taxi from jfk to laguardia to catch the next flight that was leaving in 2 hrs, got on the flight to denver to catch my brother's law school graduation commencement, missed the commencement but got to see my bro, mom, dad, and uncle, enjoyed denver's night life on sat night, got on a plane sun afternoon to chicago, got to chicago and took a car to the training center in st charles. so now im here for the week, until we leave on fri to check out chicago for 2 days and then new york for 2 days, then back to sa. it should be a fun ride, and i'm not sure i'll feel it until a couple days after im back to joburg.

i'm way too tired to write much right now, but if anyone is reading this and is going to be in chicago or new york and i haven't talked to you, please email me or call me (same # as before) and we can chill. the idea is to show my colleague a pretty good time in the states and of course to have a good time myself...i've already introduced him to probly more nigerians than he'll ever meet; he was subjected to watching and listening as the men in my family debated nigerian politics as usual. i wouldve been pretty scared, but he seemed to enjoy it. otherwise, its almost midnight here and im friggin tired. lates.

politics and church

2009-04-19T20:40:00.004+02:00

With the south african elections only days away, on wed, this post was supposed to be entirely about politics, sa-stlye. I was supposed to write about how the ruling party, the anc pretty much has this thing wrapped up and only need to make sure that they have a 2/3rds majority to ensure that they can pretty much do whatever it is they wish. Or about how the anc president and soon to be sa president, zuma (or more appropriately 'j-zed') has been on trial for serious charges for the past several years, only to be exonerated of all charges due to some questionable practices performed by the lead investigator/prosecutor. and though there's no pronouncement of guilt or innocence, or even validity of the evidence that led to his exoneration (nor of how it was obtained), we can rest easy cuz - due to proper procedure not being followed in the investigation - the matter has been resolved; justice has been served...Or how the the soon to be president, with his new leash on life, now wants some kind of revenge on the justices that paraded him to court and pronounced these horrible judgements on him. These are the justices that sit on the highest court in the country. he would like to strip them of their powers. according to our soon-to-be prez, the justices are starting to act like god (not like the anc or the prez himself, oh, heavens no! not at all..). therefore they need to be brought down to earth; read: the constitution needs to be changed so that justices sit under and are accountable to the prez. i am NOT making this stuff up. hey 'j-zed', ever heard of separation of powers, checks and balances, or about the independence of the judiciary, which is supposed to be the cornerstone in any democracy? or hey, maybe its me that forgot that its probably much too early to pronounce this country as a true democracy. yes, the vote! wooptie doo!

I was also supposed to write about the 1st lady. who's it going to be? with the soon-to-be president having now 5 wives, the battle of first lady must be well in full swing. wonder who's winning...I was supposed to ponder about how the shower (apparently the #1 cure for hiv, according to j-zed) is working. I was supposed to write about the 'new' party, which is actually a spin off, breakaway faction, of the anc, which actually includes many of the same old leaders from years past who have left the country as is today. this party's slogan is lovely: "choose hope. vote cope". hope for what? change? in what way? its the same people. ok, theres a former minister at the top. but hes a minister, not a politician. as much as i don't like politicians, their's is an art; and no ordinary person or minister can aspire to achieve great things without knowing how to play the game. in my view anyway. i was supposed to write about race politics, still the name of the game in sa politics. I think i was also going to write about all this complaining that I and a lot of my colleagues are doing. how in a way its good because this means that people are engaged and thinking, but also how we must all have a bit of patience, realising that 'change' and evolution does not happen overnight. it took the US 200+ years to have a black president. south african democracy as we know it has been around for 15years. its a new teenager. ever tried to get anything across a teenager's mind? or expected the teenager to act in a rational, forward thinking manner? there is progress in sa; but people, myself included, are so impatiently ready for more; to see this country speed up the process, grab hold of this promise of a rainbow nation, take the baton of beacon on a hill and guide other african nations on the path of true democracy. our liberal idealist tendencies may have to do some waiting.

well, like i said, those were some of the things i was going to write about, but nope, i'm not going to do that. decided to write about something else instead. this blog post will be about church.

yep, church. so, i go to church today, like i often do on sundays, mostly. kinda feeling bleh...the last few ______(fill in the blank, weeks, months, years...) i think i've been generally burnt out. and not necessarily with work. just at best running on fumes. last week, easter sunday was not that different. the preacher preached something. i listened to some of it, tho most times my mind wonders off. then he gets to the last portion and it really grabbed my attention. this was the re-affirmation of peter, where jesus "re-instates" him, 3 times. i learned something new: apparently the first 2 times that jesus asked peter if he loved him, jesus used the greek word, referring to agape love (the highest form of love), and peter replies saying of course u know i love you, using philia (i believe, more of a brotherly type love). so then when jesus asked the 3rd time, what hurt peter was not only that jesus was asking him a 3rd time, but also, now jesus uses the word philia when he asked the question instead of agape, essentially saying, i know that agape love may be too much to ask from you right now, but lets start with something. thought that was interesting. so fast forward to today, we were singing some song that ends with "jesus, i love you, i love you". the guy leading the worship, just kept repeating that line. and i kept singing, until all of a sudden i started listening to myself. and when i did that i realised that if jesus were asking me today what he aked peter a couple thousand years ago - folu, do you love me? - would i really be saying what i was singing? i couldnt answer that. or maybe i was afraid to answer that. so i sat down.

fast forward to the end of service. we had the head of the vineyard churches in south (or southern) africa come speak today. never met the guy. just know that he's preached at our church a couple times. our church believes very much in the practice of the fruits of the spirit. so every once in a while, those that have the gifts of prophecy, will speak up and tell the church what they believe they are hearing from god about a generic situation or sometimes about a specific person. usually they do this after a lot of prayer and thought. and when the preacher does it, its usually pretty powerful. and here i am, just getting used to this kind of thing, usually trying to avoid getting caught up in it, and definitely making sure that i hide myself so that no one will specifically pick on me. i dont like to be embarrassed or to think that someone has a view into my life when i havent specifically given them the appropriate rights and security codes. so the preacher ends his thing by doing a bit of prophecy. he pointed at a guy (first time visitor) and noted that he had been fighting with god and he felt like god wanted to tell him that he's here for a reason and about to show him what he's been asking. turns out true. he points at another lady and says, "please let me know if i'm completely wrong here, but..." (they like to do this!) he could feel a pain on the left side of his back and felt that somehow that related to this lady and god wants to heal her. yep, true. then he points at me! maybe it was the bright blue shirt i was wearing. by now it was surreal; me? really? i thought i was doing such a good job of being inconspicuous. he goes on to say that he's feeling something that telling him that i'm a soldier, and god wants me to take a hold of that and do great things for him, and that, this is what got me, ugly things have been getting in the way, such as guilt, that make me feel inadequate and start doubting. yoh! that was pretty powerful, on a couple fronts. first i was filled with guilt, first for not being able to answer the "peter question" and for a few other reasons. and was definitely starting to doubt and settle more soundly in my blah stage, where i was no longer running on fumes, but perhaps now at best walking, leisurely strolling. the other reason it was powerful was because i had recently asked god to show me what i should do (in terms of everything). but i didnt want him to give me a hint, or to whisper it to me softly while i was in bed, deep in sleep. no, i wanted something loud and clear. i believe my exact words were, "im dense, knock me over the head". so i'm pretty sure that being singled out amongst 200 people counts as a knock-me-over-the-head moment, right? ok, so maybe god does listen to prayers. again i was pretty shocked and stunned, having never personally met or spoken to this guy and him knowing this about me. i had to sit down. while i was sitting, i could hear something telling me to simply "fiyin fun olu wa, iwo okon mi, ma se gba-gbe gbo-gbo ore re..." (psalms 103)

Wedding

2009-04-11T17:56:00.004+02:00

I'm finally getting around to posting these! anyway, toyin and fiyin's wedding was lovely. i can say that now that i'm sitting down and looking at the pics and remembering the good times. i'm not so sure how much of that i could have said when we were running around like headless chicken tryin to pick up the right people, grabbing one of the mothers who was left behind at the church, tryin to organise the 2 mercs (thats right, we rode around in style!) while tryin not to clobber the ridiculously stupid agents at the car rental place, etc etc. in the end, the most important thing happened: they got married. the other stuff that led to us getting about 4hrs of sleep in 4 days just kept things interesting! and now theyre living happily ever after. fiyin and toyin are 2 of my best friends here and 2 of my best friends ever, so i wish them nothing but the absolute best of luck and god's grace, speed, joy. i couldnt be happier. follow the link to the pics. enjoy!

http://picasaweb.google.com/okunadef/Fiyin_ToyinWed?feat=directlink

bachelor partyin' (like its 1999)

2009-03-16T21:31:00.004+02:00

this past weekend, i threw my first bachelor party, complete with strippers jumping out of cakes, drinking till we couldnt speak our names, and u name it, we did it. ok, just in case my lame attempt at sarcasm fell through, things didn't exactly happen like that. actually it didnt happen like that at all. this was a nice, well-behaved (mostly) bachelor party. tho, even without strippers or cakes, it was still ssssssssmokin'. i mean, actually, literally, on fire. we went go-carting for the 1st leg and one of our carts bursted in flames. luckily no one was hurt, just a few lynched body hairs and a watch band. anyway, makes for a good story.

the rest of the night was pretty cool, complete with a braai, couple drinks, wise words of wisdom from yours truly and others, and lots of chatting (no pics). i also re-enforced my amazing knowledge of cars. the groom asked me for my advice on whether to hire a c-class, e-class, s-class, whatever-class. so, of course, i responded how any reasonable guy would have and asked if i could see pictures. honestly, it seriously took me a couple seconds to even know what the hell he was talking about. anyway, apparently that disqualifies me from being a nigerian (cuz what nigerian doesnt dream of owning a c-class, right??). well, at least now i know. my life is now worth it!

back to the wedding. my name-sake is getting married; a guy that i've only known for about a yr, but it feels like we've known each other for a lifetime. and his bride-to-be is one of the loveliest people i know; someone who was more of a friend to me even before we met each other. i think the wedding is really gonna be touching; hopefully i dont have too many duties/chores and i can take a few moments to just observe and enjoy. speaking of duties, the guy asked all the groomsmen to wear beige shoes. what kind of person owns beige shoes??! so i spent all of sunday morning before my flight looking for beige shoes and finally gave up and bought a way too expensive off-white pair of shoes, which the ladies at the store assured me would work. im not so sure of that, but as long as the wedding couple don't hate me for wearing non-beige shoes, i'll live. im counting on them being wayy to busy to notice!

also, wedding's in cape town, so it should be lovely. also being a nigerian wedding, it goes on for 2 days, so im taking 2 days off work for it and aint no complaints from my side. i'll try to take some pics.

final note: i stumbled on the AMAZING website the other day. not like i know the designer or that i think she's an incredible person; nope, not anything like that...but, i gotta say, everyone should check it out. and then buy whatever she's selling, and then become *paying* clients, and then be happy. that pretty much how i've heard it goes. anyway, she's really talented; check it out; u wont be disappointed: http://www.nvision-design.com/.

botswana and the elusive search

2009-03-09T21:44:00.003+02:00

quick question: what is the most difficult commodity to find in botswana? [answer below]

so i'm now stationed in botswana on a project. and it looks like i'll be here for a long time. its only been a week now and im enjoying it for the most part, aside from my endless search for the rare commodity. facts about botswana:

- its hot. its really hot. like houston. just not as humid. but still really hot. and the people (batswana, not botswanans) love the heat. i have to fight to keep the air conditioner on in the office. literally. i think im gonna suggest an arm-wrestling battle for the room temperature from now on.

- i was told that there would be lots of goats. and i was desperately looking forward to be mauled by goats and having them direct traffic, but up until now, i seriously have not seen 1 goat. i have my camera ready and waiting and nothing. no goats. i feel cheated. i am in gaborone, the capital city, so maybe i just need to venture further out into the countryside. we'll see. ill keep searching. and NO, this is not the rare, elusive commodity.

- this country is really beautiful. especially the house that they put us up in. much better than the hotel; pretty much a spacious 3 bedroom flat in a posh golf estates (where you'll find the only white people (and to be fair a bunch of rich blackies too), peacefully staked away in botswana). but the people are very nice. but i think wayyy toooo nice. and things move at botswana-speed. which is not very fast most of the time. this is why im starting to think that this would make a terrific vacation spot, but for work, its a bit slower than things should be. quick lunch? forget about it. quick service at the hotel lobby? nope. quick convo? please.

- and finally, the country is in serious shortage of IRONS. and no, im not talking about one of the most abundant metals on earth, nor the food group including most seafoods, beans, and egg yolk. Nope, im talking about the stupid thing that you plug in and it makes your clothes look straight and smart (supposedly). btw, i hate those things. they are a necessary evil. kind of like political parties. well, im almost positive that there is a serious shortage of them in botswana. we were staying at a hotel last week and they had exactly ONE iron for the entire hotel. one day, i waited ONE hour for THE iron to arrive. So then this week, i thought, since we moved to a lodge, things would get better (maybe they would have at least a couple). Well i was wrong. they, too, have exactly ONE iron for the whole place. So the plan now is that I will get my own iron and i, too, will have exactly ONE iron which i will take with me everywhere. EISH!

anyway, things look to be interesting for the next year. i'm very excited about the project and i hope its as interesting and challenging as i'm anticipating. its also a pretty public project (highly visible) so there are lots of opportunities for this to have huge effects. hopefully they're good, huge effects.

i'll keep people updated on my travails in botswana as well as my iron-adventures!

Kruger, finally

2009-02-21T16:53:00.004+02:00

[First, big thank you's to those who sent kind and encouraging notes regarding my last post; i extremely appreicated it. every time something like this happens, i tend to go into one of my existentialist slumps and i typically make it out alright within a wk or a couple or a few, realising that this world doesnt revolve around me and because of that, there's not much to do but to simply trust and obey the grand, intelligent designer. yea, and also pray for/help the suffering.]

on a completely different note, i finally made it to kruger national park a couple weeks ago, thanks to my friend visiting from the states. it was incredibly beautiful, not simply the animals, but the scenery as well. Check out a couple pics below...the rest can be found following the link at the bottom to my picasa page. I apologise in advance: these pics aren't really that great cuz i was busy experimenting on my camera, so you'll see a lot of weird shots and plenty of lions (and then my camera battery died)! enjoy!

More Pictures: http://picasaweb.google.com/okunadef/Kruger_Feb09?feat=directlink

i want to be angry

2009-02-02T17:58:00.009+02:00

[i don't really know if this is appropriate or not. i apologise to anyone i offend by this post; just how i feel]

the handsome, bubbly kid in the pics above. his name is emma (short for emmanuel. short for god with us). he's the only child of one of the most courageous and god-fearing missionaries i know in uganda. he's dead. car accident. along with his mom and his grandma.

i want to be angry. very angry. i really do. i need to be angry. and i want to stay angry. i don't know who/what to be angry at. i don't know what to do.

i'm praying for his father and uncle and rest of his family; can't imaging what theyre going thru. is that really all i can do? why did this have to happen? why am i filled with so much emotion? don't these things happen all the time? will i, in a few days or weeks, go back to my normal life and only think of emma and gorretti every once in a while?

last week i saw a man who had just been hit by a car, lying, face to the ground, in the middle of the street. i didn't see the hit, but it mustve been absolutely brutal. the guy attempted to raise his head (thank god he wasn't dead). he may have wished he was. i could see his face completely covered in blood. all the limbs were still in place, as far as i could tell. but judging from the writhing look on his face, his moans, and the crowds surrounding him, it mustve been a sizable hit. i drove away. shocked. barely able to drive. a few days latter, i only seldom think of it.

couple weeks ago, the theme around was failing relationships. people really close to me. people in my church. everywhere, there was news of troubled families and failing relationships. the hurt in people's eyes, whether directly impacted or not, was/is enough to break ones heart. a couple weeks later, i only sometimes pray for them. even when i do, is that really all? pray and wait? hope and pray? trust and obey?

i wanna go to a place where i can hold the intangibles and let go of the pain with all my mind;
i wanna go to a place where i'm suspending in ecstasy;

somewhere, between dark and light;

where wrong becomes right; i wanna go to beautiful...

after the tears subside, i'm gonna drown myself in music.

happy new year, like woah!

2009-01-13T23:08:00.011+02:00

alright i'm a bit late, but thats something i can live with so tough. better late than never. i just got back from my lengthy vacation to the states a couple days ago and just now getting back to work, catching up on sleep, and acclimating back to sa.

before i go any further, i would just like to pay my dues to the Charles de Gaulle airport in paris (disclaimer: i am an ardent france lover). at the risk of drawing the wrath of my french friends, i would just like to say that cdg is likely the worst airport ever put together (and i choose my words carefully). sure, the french gave us the lovely statue of liberty, and Tour Eiffel; however, when it comes to putting together something that is supposed to be functional and useful, they seem to be lacking. I am sure to put together this airport, they took over a village with small huts, renovated these huts with airport looking signs, then decided they were going to put together an elaborate system of trains and buses and link-rail thingies to connect everything. bottom line, it takes forever to get anywhere, especially cuz u cannot simply run or walk, but must wait for 3 or 4 connectors and sit in these connectors while it goes 30 minutes to get from terminal 2A, for example, to terminal 2B. To illustrate what i mean, i have summoned my creative juices and provided this exquisite view of Terminal 2 at Charles de Gaulle airport:

you may think that there is no terminal 2D...but thats what they want you to think...look harder, o young padawan.

moving on, my christmas/new years break was really nice. nice, though, does not describe the crazy, freezing weather i was greeted with in chicago and for a few days in st louis. i think sa has seriously softened my skin when it comes to the weather cuz i was not happy. tho, as one friend rightly put it, thats probly countered by the fact that sa has seriously toughened my skin when it comes to violence! luckily, i learned the ancient art of the blanket/heater mix! thanks friend.

if there was a theme to my holiday time this year, it was marriage, dating and love. sounds super soft, hey?! well, weather it was in relation to me, my family, friends, etc, i think i found myself talking about these topics more often than i usually do. and i mean serious discussions. seriously. and long. i can't say that any decisions were made or ground breaking answers found, but lots of questions were asked and interesting points taken. you can't really get to answers until you've correctly defined the questions, right? so what were some of those questions?

- when should one get married?

- how do you know you're ready to be married?

- what does it mean to be ready? and is not being ready really a valid excuse?

- is it worth risking being with the woman/man of ur dreams just cuz u think ur not ready?

- is it worth risking being with the woman/man of ur dreams if u push her/him to be ready when they aren't?

- why does it seem that women are more likely to be ready faster than men?

- what is the role of love? and what does it look like?

- how does one move from that to the much bigger step of marriage?

- can you love someone so much, but not feel like they are a good partner for marriage?

- what role does dating play? what does dating look like? what does dating in the christian context look like?

- what are people's must-have's and deal breakers?

- how is it that 2 seemingly "perfect for each other" people find it difficult to start or engage in a relationship?

- can 2 people who don't quite fit each others' checklists completely, be compatible?

- what role do parents and family play in the decision?

- why are so many people eager to get married, when we hear horror stories all the time, especially about the first couple, few yrs?

- whats all the hassle about?

it may seem like those are a lot of questions, but i was at home for 3 weeks and those only scratch the surface of the discussions i had. so the resolution is really that i will continue to ponder these. no, they will probably not overwhelm me (don't worry, mom and dad, i'm not getting married anytime soon), but its interesting to think about such things every once in a while. i would say one thing that i think i think, is there is no use rushing into things. for something as important as marriage, the process of getting to know someone, taking your time, asking the right questions, and allowing love to fester is far more important than the decision to get married. thats what i think i think, for now.

one of my buddies put up a note that kind of relates to this. one of his lessons from 2008 was: "You don't get second chances. Never act like you can do your best to get another chance. If it happens, it's the exception, not the status quo. If you get a shot, take it. Don't wait." Not sure I completely agree with that, perhaps due to my non-type A characteristic. I think we get second chances all the time; however, i agree that we cannot count on getting these 2nd chances in order to make our move, but we also shouldnt be overly discourage because there is a strong possibility that we'll get another chance.

finally, new new years resolution (inspired by the friend from above, and others): use more similes and metaphors (ex: comparing woah to new years). yep, working on that one.

one year later..

2008-12-08T23:00:00.004+02:00

wow, i've now been in sa for a year (and a bit)! i dunno, for me it definitely does not feel like its been a year. i still get lost a lot (like just this afternoon). i still can't understand when people talk "african" to me (tho i've learned, whether good or bad, to simply reply with a good and crisp "sharp sharp"...). i still introduce myself as the new guy; the recent transfer, etc. time flies.

wow #2, i actually started this blog more than a week ago and haven't really been able to finish it for one reason or another. i have a couple hours before i leave for the airport now and i figured it was a good time to try and finish it. actually, i scraped most of my initial idea and am going to try something new. it may feel like preaching, but i really hope its more open and raw than i usually am. (forgive me if it ends up sounding a bit preachy)

2 things kept running through my mind this afteroon. the first: i had a little get together/braai/ bbq yesterday and one of my friends facetiously asked me if this had been the best year of my life. i brushed it off with some joke or another and said something to the effect of not looking at my years in that manner. everyone has things they can look back to each year and be really excited about or really sad about. so no, i don't really qualify or rank my years as best or worst. that question also actually evoked in me thoughts of all the bad and frustrating aspects of the past year. not exactly sure why, but thats where i found my mind wondering; there's my car, my work, adventures at the bank, my stolen cell phone, my expensive internet, my family and friends i left back in the us, etc...i mean with all those things this couldn't possibly have been my best year, right? those thoughts remained with me till today, particularly this morning at church (which btw, was a struggle to get myself up to go to this morning, but so glad i went...otherwise this lovely blog entry would not have been created).

so this brings me to the 2nd thing that crept up into my thoughts this morning/afternoon. a while back i was talking to a friend on gmail and i wrote something really spontaneously and then later realised that i actually meant it. i said that i had full intention to ensure that my stay in south africa (however long it will be) will bring about a radically new, improved, and mature me. I really felt (and desired) that i would be changed in a good, disciplined and godly way. now that process is not a quick one, im learning. and it can be painfully slow at times, and definitely hasn't happened yet, but i'm still pretty optimistic that it will happen.

now what the 2 things have in common is a bit obscure i know, but for some reason, putting those 2 together today, i came to the conclusion that actually, this has probably been my best year so far, in the sense that every successive year has been better than the previous. but this year especially i've learned so much, been exposed to so much, and had a chance to meet different people and experience different places and ideas than i normally would have.

since this thought came about at church, i can start with my experience at church. it took me a while to really find a church that i liked. and even when i had been attending the one i attend now, i was unwilling for several months, to commit, as there were loads of things i wasnt too confortable with or wanted different (this is pretty similar to my experience in chicago when i first got there). anyway, something made me stick to the church and im really glad that i did. at this church ive had the opportunity to:

get a feel of a truly integrated environment. to be sure, this is NOT at all common in "the new" south africa.
experience people that are open and real about themselves, their faith, and their struggles. and become comfortable (a bit) with sharing about mine.
understand the true meaning of affirmation. usually my worst times at work are when we do annual reviews cuz then the manager gets to tell you things that u do well and what u can improve on. i love the constructive criticism; its the good part that always makes me uncomfortable for some reason. so when talk of affirmation comes, i've always dismissed it as unnecessary. but i can say with confidence that us guys NEED affirmation (don't even try to deny it). over the last couple months or so, ive met someone whos a mentor, friend, brother (from another mother), father, guide...all rolled up in one. and ive been so blessed not only by his wisdom and our breakfasts, but also his affirmation. god seems to provide this for me everywhere that i go, but its not until now that i'm realizing the tru value. more on this later.
be in community with some awesome people doing awesome things. involvement in the community is a huge thing at this church. even this morning the senior pastor, to the initial chagrin of the preacher, got everyone up before the guy started preaching and asked us to fill up food boxes that was to go to zimbabwe cuz they just got a whole bunch of food and they were worried how they would pack them all in time. it took us like 10 minutes, and it was chaotic, but it was "holy chaos", as the senior pastor (black, btw, in a white church) described it. at the end, every one was so blessed and many shared how that touched them.
speaking about community, there just so many quality people at this church, always trying to get me to be involved (very un-vineyard-like!), and coming up to me just to chat or whatever.

my friends here have made this an amazing year. ive learned so much from them. one friend teaches me all the time about issues that i would not have thought about or discussed cuz i used to be on the opposite spectrum of such arguments and would not listen to people like him. another close friend challenges me on my stance (very american or un-african, she calls it). this same friend has taught be so much about being a good/caring friend and how to treat women. but isnt me, myself, and i enough?! this same friend also has contributed to the affirmation aspect i talked about above. to hear someone tell you that you know how to be a good man, etc, is more touching than most things (take note girls!). these are just examples, but all my friends have contributed to my "learning" in some way or another. and of course are loads of fun.

finally, my adventures have been incredible. most of the pictures, i've posted here or on my picasa page. i admit im not the most adventurous person (and south africa is really good for reallly adventurous people), but the little that ive been able to do have been great. how can adventures in uganda, drakensberg, pilanesberg, cape town, and of course jo burg not make this the best year! theres lots more places im looking forward to going to next year, so probably next year will be even better...

now on to things im looking forward to for next year; sort of my new years resolution, a couple weeks early (and anyone can hold me to this):

do more random trips to random places
go safari-ing
be more involved in community
take the gmat; get my mba
find ways to enjoy my work
eat more mangos
there's probably more, but my ride is now waiting for me, see y'all on the flip side...

random thought #354106756: i was reading thru some of my very early blogs just now and i noticed a couple things:

- my blog entries have gotten significantly longer. i think that might have something to do with the fact that i write less often, so more to say i guess. or maybe ive just learned the art of rambling a bit more. probly the latter.

- and whats up with me and obama?? its like this guy is the 2nd coming of the saviour!

merry christmas.